A couple of steamy/suggestive screenshots ahead
I almost don’t even know where to start with this one. Last night… Well, it kinda changed everything. In more ways than one.
I have this weekend off, so Abigail and I spent the whole day together. It was really awesome. We went to the park, saw a movie, then went back to my place for dinner. It was so much fun. We’ve been getting into a few little arguments lately about stupid crap, but last night really helped us reconnect… Really connect…
But I’m getting ahead of myself.
Anyway, Abs is just so freaking cute, and I love being with her. We could talk for hours and hours about nothing and I don’t think I’d ever get bored.
I almost didn’t want the day to end, y’know?
I was really good too… I only texted Victoria once all day to make sure everything was okay at the restaurant (and it was, of course).
Abigail always hates it when I start stressing too much about work when we’re together. Back when we first opened, she was great, but lately she gets really weird and annoyed if I start talking about the restaurant. I catch her rolling her eyes at me, or sometimes she’ll outright ask “can we talk about something else?” We’ve gotten in a couple little fights about it. But I dunno… Maybe I really do go a little overboard sometimes?
Anyway, I try really hard not to mention it much (and text or call Victoria as little as possible). But I always worry on my days off. I can’t help it.
But with or without obsessing over work, it was an incredible day… With an even better ending. After dinner, we ended up making out on the couch, and she gave me this look.
And I knew exactly what it meant. The last time Abigail looked at me like that…
God, that was amazing.
And last night was even better.
Abigail took control again, and I loved it. It was so fucking hot. It reminded me of how Hope used to drive me insane when she’d take over in bed. So strong and powerful and beautiful and…
Anyway, the point is, we finally went all the way, and it was so damn good. I really needed that. I don’t know why I waited so long with Abigail… But I’m really glad we finally took that step. It made me feel closer to her than I’ve ever felt before.
I just wish it didn’t have consequences.
When we woke up this morning, after we went for round two, we started talking about what this might mean for us now. It felt way too familiar, honestly. Laying in my bed with a beautiful girl next to me, still smelling like sex and coming down from our high while we talked about where to go from here…
We decided it’s time to finally make it 100% official — we’re together. And Abigail was so excited. She whipped out her phone right away to change her relationship status on Facebook, and she talked me into doing the same. It was really cute.
Until what came next.
She told me she doesn’t want me seeing Hope anymore.
Apparently Abigail had been “putting up with it” because we weren’t officially in a relationship yet. But now that we are, she told me it “isn’t right” to keep being friends with Hope.
And apparently… Jesus, this is embarrassing. Apparently I got so caught up in stuff last night that… I kinda said Hope’s name a couple times. I guess Abs was pretty caught up too, because she didn’t say anything at the time.
I didn’t even realize I did it until she called me out on it this morning.
I tried to explain it was just habit… I mean, I had four years of sex with Hope, and just one night with Abigail. It didn’t mean anything. But she’s not convinced. And she thinks me being friends with Hope just makes it worse.
“Competing with the restaurant’s hard enough already.” She told me. “I don’t need to be competing with your ex too.”
I mean, what the hell was I supposed to say to that? I know she’s jealous. I get that. But doesn’t she trust me? Does she really think I’m gonna let Hope come between us? What kind of person does she think I am?!
And why should I have to cut Hope out of my life anyway? That’s way too extreme, isn’t it? Why is she trying to force me to choose between them?
At first, I came really close to losing it… But then I started thinking about what Dr. Hall said about being more understanding about other people’s feelings, and keeping calm instead of freaking out over stuff…
So I took a deep breath and tried to put myself in her shoes. That made it a little easier, I guess.
We talked it over for a while. I tried to explain my side of things as calmly as I could, and I guess we came to a compromise… ish.
Abigail said she doesn’t mind if Hope and I are still friends on Facebook and stuff like that… But she doesn’t want me making actual plans to see her anymore.
I told her I understood what she’s saying, and that I’d think about it. And I am. I haven’t been able to think about anything else all day. I just can’t figure out what the hell I’m gonna do.
Hope’s one of the most important people in my life. We’ve been through so much together, and we’ve helped each other through so much shit. It’s not fair to just throw all of that away, is it?
But… Abigail’s my girlfriend now. Not Hope. And I really, really like her. She should be the one who comes first in my life now, right? And if she’s not comfortable with me and Hope being friends, then…
I don’t really have a choice, do I?