I can’t do this anymore. I just can’t.
I hate being trapped in this house with my family. Having to avoid them all the time. Knowing that they’re probably so fucking pleased with themselves right now. Thinking about the fact that they picked Luc over me.
And not being able to forgive them.
I’ve tried. I want to. But I can’t. Every time I look at them, I just… can’t. I’m so fucking angry. Probably angrier than I’ve ever felt in my life.
I wish we could go back to how things used to be. Back when I didn’t want to punch my parents in the face every time I look at them. Back when the mere mention of Luc’s name didn’t have me seeing red. Back when were just a normal family. One that loved each other.
I hate it. I hate feeling this way. But I can’t help it. I can’t help hating my family right now. Just like I can’t help still loving Mark…
Which is the even bigger problem.
Do you have any idea how much it kills me to know that he could be right here in Windenburg, visiting Luc and Hazel, and I wouldn’t even know it? Hell, even knowing that he’s just a few hours away in Falkenburg is bad enough.
He’s so close. I could be with him this very second if I wanted to. And it doesn’t even matter.
Because we can’t be together. My family made sure of that.
I feel like I’m going crazy or something. Or at least, I will if I stay here one more minute.
I just need to get away. Away from my family. Away from Mark. Away from everything.
I can’t stand being trapped anymore.