4.9: What Is Love?

Alright kids, sit down, shut up, and get your barf bags ready…

Because today’s post is all about the dreaded L-word.

And no, not Lord of the Rings (Sorry, Lena).

Love.

Yeah, I know. Trust me, I’m just as shocked as you are. But I just can’t seem to get it out of my head… And you know me – If it’s on my mind, I’m gonna end up rambling about it on here sooner or later.

Anyway these are the questions that have really been bugging me lately:

1. What is ‘love’ anyway? (If you start singing that awful 90s song, I’m gonna smack you).
2. How do you know you’re in love with someone in the first place?
3. Why the hell do people use it to mean “zero” in tennis?

So this week, I went out in search of answers… And by that, I mean I harassed my friends and family members so I could share what they said on my blog.

The results were… Well, you’ll see.

“Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me no more…”
– My idiot nephew Lucas, 16

“Love is agreeing to go out in public in the geekiest Halloween costume ever, scratchy wig and all…”
“Hey, we won first place in the costume contest!”
– My parents Mari & Jonas, super-old

“A giant load of shit made up by Hollywood and greeting card companies.”
– My oh-so-wise BFF Lena, 16

“I’m not really sure if it’s something you can put into words.”
– My sister-in-law Colette, 34

“When you let them hold your hand. Oh! And when you sit together at lunch, even when all your friends want you to sit with them instead.”
– Adorable Auggy, 10

“If you have to ask, then you probably aren’t.”
– My smartass brother Tobi, 33

“When you find someone who makes you a better person, and makes you feel whole. Someone you can’t imagine ever being without. At least, that’s how the books always say it is.”
– My perpetually-single niece Jocelyne, 16

“When you don’t want to be with anyone else in the world. When dozens of people are lining up to be with you and you still choose that same special someone, every time.
– My grandmother Jade, 78

“It’s because love sucks all the life out of you until you’re dead inside. Left with nothing.”
– Lena… again

“Well, some say it’s actually from the French ‘l’oeuf’, which means egg. And a zero’s in the shape of an egg… Get it? But I’m pretty sure that’s just a myth. From what I understand, most people actually think it’s…”(Oh God, he went on for like three more minutes. I almost hung up on him.)
– My brainiac brother Stefan, 33

“Oh, I don’t know… I guess the romantic in me wants to say it’s because when you love someone, you give them everything. God, that sounds pretty damn cheesy, doesn’t it?”
– My mom, still older-than-dirt

So, as you can see, that whole thing was a pretty big waste of time. I mean I guess a couple of the answers weren’t completely sucky, but… Yeah.  I guess I shouldn’t have expected anything less from my family.

So the questions still stand, for now (or at least, the first two do. Stefan gave me enough info on the third one to last a freaking lifetime). Who knows… maybe my sister-in-law’s right – maybe it’s just not something you can put into words.

But hey, it was worth a shot, wasn’t it?

Oh, and for those of you wondering why I suddenly give a shit about all this romantic crap… Keep wondering.

Because it’s none of your damn business.

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