8.46: Explanation (Part One)

There were three things that immediately caught Emberlynn’s attention the moment they walked through the door. First was how chilling the silence was in the entry hall, broken only by the occasional sound of her mother’s soft sobs. 

The second was how breathtakingly beautiful Xander’s mother was.

And the third was the way her father’s eyes remained fixed upon Xander’s face. There was something in his gaze that seemed to teeter on the edge between joy and sorrow. It was quite literally impossible for Emberlynn to describe. She’d never seen anything like it before.

“Hi, Mama. Hi Papa.” She muttered at last, finally breaking the silence. “Um… this is Xander.”

Gigi kept her face hidden behind her hand. Phoenix, however, had still not taken his eyes off the young man’s freckled face. It was like he was transfixed. 

Xander looked back at Phoenix, wearing an expression of both discomfort and curiosity. “It’s nice to meet you.” He said awkwardly.

“Y-you too.” Phoenix’s voice was thick, as though holding back tears. Emberlynn couldn’t exactly explain why, but the whole thing was already making her feel incredibly nervous and anxious. 

Xander finally turned to face his mother, seemingly grateful for the opportunity to tear his eyes away from Phoenix’s gaze. “And mom… This is Emberlynn.”

“Hello, Emberlynn.” Lola replied with surprising poise, given the awkwardness of the situation. “I’m sorry we have to meet under these circumstances.” She continued seriously.

“Yeah, me too…” Emberlynn replied. “Though I’ll be honest — I’m still not entirely sure what those ‘circumstances’ are…”

Lola turned her eyes toward Phoenix, who was still staring at her son. “Yes. We… we’re hoping we can help explain that. Together.”

Phoenix nodded. At last, he pulled his eyes away from Xander, fixing them instead upon his daughter. “Let’s go sit down.” He suggested, inclining his head in the direction of the living room.

“Okay…” Emberlynn replied uncertainly.

As she began to follow her father, she saw Lola pause to pull Xander into a tight embrace. “I love you. I’m so sorry…” Emberlynn heard Lola whisper into her son’s ear.

Emberlynn continued following her father, hoping to give her boyfriend and his mother a bit of privacy, when Gigi reached out, stopping her in her tracks. 

“I’m sorry, honey. But I… I can’t do this.” Gigi managed to choke out between her muffled sobs.

“Can’t do what, Mama? I still don’t understand…”

Gigi merely shook her head in reply. “I’m sorry.” She repeated before turning and disappearing up the stairs without another word. Emberlynn could just barely make out the sound of her parents’ bedroom door closing before the entry hall was plunged back into silence once more.

She turned around then, realizing that Xander and Lola had already joined Phoenix in the living room. I guess it’s time to get this over with… Whatever ‘this’ is…

Emberlynn entered the living room to find that her father had pulled two chairs up to one of the couches, so that they were facing one another. This whole thing already felt so strange and formal, like he was staging a therapy session with one of his clients or something.

Already feeling discomfort, Emberlynn took a seat beside Xander on the sofa. She assumed her grandparents and brother had been kicked out of the house to give them some privacy, and took a mental note to give Tristan a play-by-play of their parents’ bizarre behavior later. He’s not gonna believe this…

Emberlynn was called away from her thoughts by the soft clearing of her father’s throat. “We’re really glad that the two of you are willing to give us this chance to explain ourselves.” He began seriously. It was so strange to hear her father speaking not only in English, but so stiffly and formally. “And we’d both like to start off by apologizing for our behavior. It wasn’t right.”

Lola nodded in agreement. “We both have a lot to be sorry for… Especially me.” For the first time, her exceptionally poised demeanor seemed to falter. “So I’d like to start off by apologizing. To all three of you.” She seemed to try and catch Phoenix’s eye for a moment, but the effort was in vain.

It was then that Emberlynn realized that her father hadn’t even glanced in Lola’s direction once since they’d arrived. It was like she was invisible to him.

Beside her, Xander let out a heavy sigh of annoyance. “Look, I’ve gotta be honest here… I’m not sure whether to be scared shitless or just super fucking pissed right now. But I think I speak for both of us when I say — can we please, PLEASE, just get a straight answer for once?” There was a sharp and bitter edge to his voice as he spoke.

Emberlynn nodded in agreement. “We’re sick of this stupid guessing game.” She said firmly. “Just tell us what’s going on!”

There was a few moments of silence as Lola and Phoenix both seemed to grapple with which of them would speak first. It was especially difficult for them to coordinate, given Phoenix’s determination to look anywhere but in her eyes.

In the end, however,  he seemed to decide to take the lead. “Back when we were around your age, your mother and I lived in Brindleton Bay for a little while.” He began slowly, looking at Emberlynn as he spoke.

She nodded. “You’ve told me.”

“And Lola… she was one of my best friends while I was there.” For a fleeting moment, he almost seemed to be fighting the urge to smile. But just as quickly as it had come, it was gone. “But we, uh… We messed that up. Really, really bad…”

“What do you mean?” Emberlynn asked nervously.

It was Lola who replied. “We… ended up being, um… more than just friends.” She looked away then, the deep shame evident on her beautiful face.

It was a moment or two before the weight of Lola’s words finally sunk in. Emberlynn felt like she was going to be sick. “Papa… you didn’t.” She whispered.

“It was a mistake. It never should have happened.” Phoenix replied desperately. 

“You CHEATED on Mama?!” Somehow, Emberlynn had ended up on her feet.

He didn’t even try to deny it. “I did.”

How could this be happening? Her father — the one person she looked up to more than anyone else in the world, the man who taught her to be good and honest and true, to always do the right thing — was nothing but a lying, filthy cheater.

“Does she know?!” She demanded. “Did you tell her what you did?!”

Phoenix nodded. “I did. She knows everything.”

It was all so clear to her now. All the anger and turmoil in her parents’ marriage suddenly made so much sense. “God, no wonder she hates you.”

“Emberlynn!” In an instant, her father was on his feet too. “You have no idea what you’re talking about!” His voice was practically a hiss. “Your mother, she… I’m not the only…” Phoenix paused, shaking his head and letting out a slow, deep breath. “The situation is very complicated.” This time, he spoke slowly and carefully. “And you have no idea how much it is killing me to have to tell you this right now. But this was a very long time ago. I’m not the same person now that I was back then, I promise.”

Emberlynn felt a sharp and stinging reply dancing on the tip of her tongue, but she used every ounce of self control within her to remain silent. She sunk back down onto the couch, staring daggers at Phoenix but saying nothing.

Xander had said nothing yet, but was staring at his mother as though seeing her for the first time. “You knew he was married?” He asked Lola, his voice surprisingly calm. “You knew what you were doing?”

She nodded. “I knew. It was horrible and selfish of me, no matter what the circumstances might have been. There was no excuse.”

“You’re right. There wasn’t.” Though he did not yell, the disgust he felt toward his mother was apparent. “I can’t believe you, Mom.”

A brief silence fell over the four of them then. Lola and Phoenix each looked off into separate directions while their children continued staring in disbelief at them.

Emberlynn was still trying to wrap her head around the whole thing. It was shocking, yes. Disgusting. Shameful. But…

“I don’t understand… What does any of this have to do with us?” Both her voice and her anger began to rise with each word that passed her lips. None of this made any sense. None of it was fair. “Are you trying to tell me that just because the two of you have some kind of fucked-up history, it means you ‘don’t approve’ of your kids being together? Papa, it’s like you said, that was years ago!”

“Yeah, this is pretty fucking stupid if that’s what your issue is!” Xander chimed in, seemingly just as fed-up as she was. “I mean okay, sure, thanks for sharing and basically traumatizing us, I guess?” His voice dripped with sarcasm. “But whatever shitty choices you guys made when you were kids were yours. Not ours! This has nothing to do with us!”

“Baby, no…” Lola said softly. For the first time, Emberlynn noticed the glistening of tears in her eyes. “I’m sorry, but… This has everything to do with you.”

“What?”

“Gigi found out she was pregnant… And that’s when she and Phoenix came back to Windenburg. And… and just after he left, that’s when I found out I was pregnant. With you.” Lola’s voice was barely above a whisper.

“So is that why you went to that dumb party? For some kind of rebound hookup or something?” Xander asked.

Emberlynn turned toward him curiously. “What party?”

“I guess I never really told you this before… A couple months before she started dating Jorden — my dad — she hooked up with some guy at this party.” Xander explained. He seemed almost embarrassed. “She never even knew his name, but… that guy was my father. Biological father.” He corrected himself. “Or sperm donor, whatever you wanna call it.” Despite everything, he let out a small chuckle as he spoke.

Emberlynn nodded in understanding. Xander had hinted to her before that Jorden was not his biological father, so none of this came as much of a surprise. “Okay… But that still doesn’t really explain anything.” She shrugged helplessly, lifting her eyes to address Xander’s mother. “So you were sad my Papa went back home, so you went to that party, and… and you…” Her voice trailed away at the sight of the look on Lola’s face.

Twin trails of tears were streaming down her cheeks. Beside her, Phoenix held his face in his hands. Emberlynn’s stomach gave a heavy lurch when she realized he was crying.

“Xander, I’m sorry.” Lola’s voice shook as she stared into her son’s eyes. “But… there was never any party…”