8.15: Sizing Up

I spent ALL last week psyching myself up for Amy’s Halloween party. I just kept telling myself again and again that it’d help me feel better and take my mind off that whole mess with Dominick.

And I was right. It did help me feel better, and it DID take my mind off Dominick… But there were a couple hiccups too.

Not with my costume though. THAT came out amazing (duh). I worked my butt off for FOREVER on that thing, and it was totally worth it. I was getting compliments on it all night. Even from people who didn’t know who I was supposed to be (seriously? Have these people never played a video game?!) So that part was pretty awesome.

I think I was one of the only people there who made my own costume. You could tell the other stuff was all store-bought crap.  If I did a better job convincing Zelda she should crash and come with me, I bet she would’ve had Onkel Tam help her make something. But Zelda isn’t into parties, and Onkel Tam and Onkel Jasper both say she’s too young to go to one anyway. And she’s way too much of a goody-two-shoes to sneak out or anything. So I went with Cleo and Athena instead.

When we first got there, I put both of them on ‘Dominick Duty’, but it ended up being for nothing anyway — he didn’t show up. And I’m pretty sure part of it’s because he knew I’d be there. Which made me feel pretty crappy and guilty…

But really relieved too. It was just one less thing I had to worry about, and I was able to relax and have SO much more fun than I would’ve if he was there. How the heck was I supposed to check out hot guys and flirt with them in front of Dominick? God, that’d make me a bigger bitch than Serenity.

And speaking of her… Yeah, she was there. Obviously. Ugh. I really wanted to try and ignore her, but it was hard with her watching me all the time. And it wasn’t even her usual bitchy glares either. It was… I dunno. I don’t even know the right word for it, honestly.

The only time she actually talked to me was when she swooped in to dig her claws back into Jace… On his way to go grab them more drinks, he and Trent came up to tell me how much they liked my costume.

I tried SO hard to keep my cool, but it was pretty freaking hard when two of the cutest, most popular guys in the whole school are talking to you. Especially Trent. OMG.

We barely got to talk though, before Serenity pounced (with Natasha right behind her, of course. Ugh). And when she did, she gave me this look. There really isn’t any other way to describe it besides that she was ‘sizing me up’ or something. It was so weird.

Then she just said “Nice costume” and was practically dragging Jace and Trent away from me. It was almost like she was jealous or something, which I know is ridiculous, but how else am I supposed to explain it?

Anyway, by that time, Cleo and Athena had already kinda disappeared into the crowd of people. Which I guess is pretty normal for parties like this. I know I’ve accidentally ditched them before too, so I wasn’t MAD or anything. I just felt kind of awkward and lonely.       

So I started drinking more.

Maybe a little TOO much… Probably more than I’ve ever drank in my life.

It was a LOT easier to find people to talk to after that. Even some of the kids who don’t go to my school. Total strangers… But once I had a few drinks, talking to them was a total breeze.              

And unfortunately, doing more than just talking suddenly became really easy too.

I don’t really know what came over me, but this guy I was talking to was just so cute (and he was dressed like a freaking banana! How funny is that?!) And I was feeling so lonely and mad at Serenity and I just… I guess I decided if she was gonna act all jealous of me, I might as well give her something to be jealous about.             

It was all such a blur… Like, I’m not even sure how we ended up in that closet together. Or why I thought it would be a good idea to start reaching into his banana for his, uh… banana.

He was a total stranger to me.  I didn’t even know the guy’s NAME!

Don’t get me wrong or anything… It was fun. And exciting. But it felt sorta… wrong.

If you think about it, it was pretty much the same as what I did when I first met Mason (costumes and all!) but there was still just something that felt different about it. Something that felt weird. And kinda dirty. I guess I didn’t like it as much as I thought I was going to.

And thankfully, as Onkel Tam would say, I finally passed my Will Save before we got very far. No matter how drunk I was, there was this little voice in the back of my mind screaming “Wait! No! Stop! What are you doing?!’

And luckily I was sane enough to actually listen. I gave him a super awkward apology, told him I had to go, and got out of that closet as fast as I could. And good thing I did too (you’ll see why).

I tried to ignore everybody watching me when I walked out of the closet, but it was really hard not to. Ugh. I felt gross and kinda sick (probably from the alcohol) so I went to go hide in the bathroom for a little while.

That was when I pulled out my phone to check the time… And realized I had just three minutes to make it to the corner of the street, or else my life as I knew it was gonna come to an end.

See, I’ve been trying to keep up with that whole “being honest with my parents” thing… Which unfortunately included asking them for permission to come to the Halloween Party. We went back and forth for a long time trying to come to an agreement. It was more intense than a freaking hostage negotiation!

And in the end, what we agreed was this: I could go to the party, and there would be no questions asked about what happened there… as long as I only stayed til 10:30 (Lame). AND let my parents pick me up (OMG even more lame).

Which I finally agreed to… as long as they picked me up at the corner and not in front of the house. And they both said yes, on one condition…

If I wasn’t standing at the street corner at exactly 10:30, they would park the car and COME INSIDE TO FIND ME.

Oh my GOD could you even IMAGINE?! My parents just bursting in in front of EVERYBODY? Or worse — they find me in a closet sucking some guy’s dick or something?!

I would die. I would keel over and drop dead and no amount of voodoo magic or angel fish or death flowers could ever bring me back. I don’t even think I would’ve stuck around as a ghost. I’d be too mortified to ever haunt anybody.

So yeah, that little voice in the back of my head totally saved my ass that night. I BOOKED IT to the corner, stumbling like a drunken moron the entire way. But at least I made it.

My parents totally knew I was drunk. But they stuck to their end of the bargain — no questions. They just brought me home and I went to bed.

And… yeah. That pretty much sums it up. Even with a couple bumps in the road, it was still a decent party though. And honestly, I’m glad I went.

I’ll just probably lay off the alcohol a little bit next time.

And pay more attention to what time it is.

And make sure I actually know the guy before I decide to bring him in the closet with me.

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Shoutout to my dear friend haswh for making the awesome Halloween Party set for me! ❤