6.21: This Sucks

UGHHHHH!

This sucks. It totally, completely, 100% sucks.

Just kill me now!

Okay, okay. That was super dramatic. But seriously. Everything used to be going so great… And now it all just sucks so fucking bad right now. And it keeps getting worse and worse.

So first off, I’m grounded. Literally for the first time in my life. All because of this stupid fight I had with my parents the other night.

And when I say ‘stupid’… I mean that I was a little stupid too. I’ll admit it. They were being absolutely ridiculous though!

Still… I kinda-sorta ended up calling them hypocrites, swearing at them, and then storming off without telling them were I was going. As Rylie would say, yikes.

I felt really bad about taking it so far. And I tried to apologize when I made it back home… But I guess it wasn’t enough for my parents.

They’re always so laid-back when I get in trouble or do something wrong. Usually they just tell me not to do it again, and that’s it. I never thought they’d actually ground me.

But… I also never thought I’d talk to my parents that way either. So maybe I deserved it a little. Just a little though. Like, maybe for the weekend? But they made it the whole week! So I’m basically under house arrest now. Ugh…

And just to make things worse, I start tutoring tomorrow. That’s what the whole stupid fight was about in the first place. Mom and Papa are basically insisting on it, all because my algebra grade is super shitty. But who even cares about math anyway? I’m never gonna use it in real life! And I know mom and Papa secretly agree with me. But they’re still obsessed with me getting good grades so I can go to uni… No matter how many times I tell them I don’t want to. It’s so frustrating!

And when I told them about it, instead of taking my side, Rylie and Devin said I should play nice and go along with it.

At first, I almost couldn’t believe it. But I guess they have a point. All my parents are gonna do is keep arguing with me if I don’t give in a little. I’ve gotta do something to get them to lay off, and this is probably the least painful option.

But just because it makes sense doesn’t make it suck any less.

And after what happened today, things suck even worse! (And I didn’t even know that was possible!)

It started when I had to tell Mrs. Brandt that I signed up for tutoring. I was hoping I wouldn’t have to, but mom and Papa said I had to talk to her about it and let her know what was going on. And I guess they’re right. If she was really that worried about my grade, she’d probably wanna know about the whole tutoring thing.

I ended up waiting until class was over before I said anything though. I’m enough of a weirdo already. I really didn’t want anyone else knowing I’m doing tutoring too. And I thought I was subtle enough about it that nobody heard me…

But I was wrong.

I was sitting with Rylie and Devin at lunch, just like I always do. And, as usual, it was so damn loud that it was really hard for me to hear anything. I was concentrating too much on listening to the two of them to notice that someone else was trying to get my attention. I didn’t even see him until Devin pointed him out.

It was Thad. Which wasn’t too weird, I guess.

I don’t really hang out with my old friends anymore, but it’s not like we ignore each other either. Or even stopped liking each other. We still talk at school sometimes. So I didn’t really think anything of it.

But when I saw the look on his face, I knew it couldn’t be good. And then he told me.

Guess who overheard that I’m doing tutoring and decided to start telling everybody about how “stupid” I am?

Thad was trying to be a good friend. He wanted to tell me before I heard from someone else. And I appreciated that. A lot.

But it didn’t make me any less pissed!

Just when I start thinking that bitch is gonna leave me alone, she starts again with this stupid, immature shit!

And I know I shouldn’t let it get to me. I know she’s acting like we’re still twelve years old. I know getting pissed is exactly what she wants from me. But I really can’t help it.

She sits there smirking at me with that pretty, smug face of hers and I just wanna…

Well, I already learned my lesson a long time ago about getting violent. I was already grounded. I didn’t wanna make it even worse. So yeah… No triumphant return of Harper Hard-Heart. Not this time. No matter how much I wanted her to.

But I guess it wouldn’t have been necessary anyway. Turns out I’m not the only vigilante in town anymore.

Rylie and Devin were on their feet before I could say anything. They walked all the way across the room, right up to where Katie was sitting.

I wish I could have heard what they said to her. Or what she said back.

But then I saw Rylie’s fists go flying.

And I’m pretty sure that said enough on its own.

It was actually pretty fucking awesome… until Rylie and Devin got dragged into the principal’s office.

Devin’s suspended for two days for “instigating a fight”, since he was technically the first one to start yelling. Rylie’s out for tomorrow and half of next week too.

I can’t believe they both got in so much trouble… for me. Their parents are totally gonna kill them for this. I know it.

Fan-freaking-tastic, right? Now on top of everything else, I feel guilty too. They didn’t have to do anything. They should have just left it alone.

I wish I had the chance to talk to them before school was over… But their parents ended up getting called in to take them home. I managed to text them a little while ago though.

Talking to them helped me feel a little better, at least. And I meant what I said. I really do love them both. So, so much.

And… no matter how much they piss me off, I love my parents too. And my Oma.

And all of them seem to think this tutoring thing is a good idea. Maybe for different reasons, sure… But every single one of them keeps saying I should do it. That it’ll be a good thing for me, one way or another.

And they can’t all be wrong, can they?

I mean, I already know it’s totally gonna suck. But the question is… How much will it suck?

Guess I’ll find out tomorrow.