9.6: Eighth Wonder

It’s official. Landon Littlehale is the hottest guy on the entire fucking planet.

And yes, the rational side of me is well aware that, statistically speaking, he probably isn’t. And attractiveness is a subjective thing anyway… But that kind of logic doesn’t apply here. I mean, have you SEEN that ass? It defies all logic and reason. Seriously. We’re talking eighth wonder if the world over here.

Okay, I’ve gotta cool it. The last thing I need is to get a fucking boner in the back of Mr. Marshall’s awful math class. Though honestly? Sitting back here jerking it to thoughts of Landon’s ass would probably be a better use of my time than this.

Okay, I know that was harsh. Accurate, but harsh.

It’s just, I’m not even supposed to BE in this class anyway. I think that’s part of what pisses me off so much about it. When I signed up for AP Statistics this year, my advisor told me I could skip Trigonometry… But I had a free slot in my schedule and they wouldn’t let me add another study hall, so it was either this or get shoved into a French I class. And, much as my Dad wanted me to take French like he did, I figured an extra math class would at least be SOMEWHAT useful. 

Now that I’ve seen how lame this class is though, part of me kinda wonders whether I should’ve listened to Dad after all… Désolé, Papa.

I should look on the bright side though — Ollie’s stuck in here with me, so we get to suffer through this crap together. And, of course, I totally lucked out landing a seat near the hottest guy in the whole school (or whole planet, if you ask me).

I just about died on the first day when I walked in and saw him sitting there. And obviously I nodded and smiled and pretended to totally sympathize when he started bitching to me about having to repeat Trig again this year (how did he manage to fail this thing before? I seriously don’t get it) but on the inside I was basically screaming. Who wouldn’t be?

So I guess it could be worse, all things considered. Only thing that would make it better is if Lily was stuck in here with us too, but she managed to dodge the Trig bullet, unlike me. At least we’ve got Stats together though (and AP Bio too).

Speaking of which, I’m betting right now that she’ll talk my ear off all next block about her dress for Homecoming. Last Friday she would NOT shut up about going shopping this weekend.

I love her to death, but sometimes she reminds me of Penny with the way she starts obsessing over stupid shit like clothes and makeup. And I dunno if it’s ‘cause I’m gay or my mom’s a costume designer or what, but for some reason she seems to think I actually care about that crap (and, like an idiot, I usually pretend that I do).

But hey, I’ll take slightly-obnoxious, overly-excited Lily any day, considering the alternative (which is moody, bitter, and about as un-Lily-like as you can possibly imagine. Think Jekyll and Hyde, but about ten times more terrifying).

That’s the Lily we’d all had to endure the past couple weeks after that absolute asswipe Steven Sloane decided to dump her right before school started. And yeah, I guess you could argue that I’m being a hypocrite here… I dumped Lily like five times between the ages of eleven and fifteen. But I was just a scared, stupid kid who was still trying to figure himself out back then. I never wanted to hurt her. I always let her down easy… Especially that last time, when I finally worked up the courage to tell the truth and come out to her.

This is completely different. Lily’s one of my best friends. We love each other no matter what. But I can tell you right now, there’s NO love where her and Steven are concerned. Lily fell for his act at first, but in the end, it turns out he was just some fake manipulative dickhead like half the other people in this dumb city. He was just using her for some easy sex, and once he got what he wanted, he kicked her to the curb. It makes me sick. Seriously. Poor Lily… She cried for a solid week over that douchebag (though I seriously can’t understand WHY — he’s not worth a single fucking tear as far as I’m concerned).

Anyway, I’m glad Lil’s finally getting back to her old self again, even if that means putting up with having to look at dozens of pictures of Homecoming dresses that look exactly the same. She’ll look great no matter what she wears, but she won’t listen to me when I try telling her that… Typical. 

Speaking of which, I should probably figure out what I’M gonna wear to this thing too, huh? The dance is this Saturday. And believe it or not, I’m NOT dreading it for once.

This sounds totally awful, but I’m pretty sure it’s because this is gonna be the first time I’m not the only one one of my friends who’s single. Structurally-speaking, a third wheel actually adds stability, right? So I’ve never really understood the expression… But in a social situation? Yeah. It fucking blows. 

This year will be different though. Like I said, Lily’s douchebag boyfriend just dumped her, and Ollie finally got rid of his bitchy girlfriend like a month ago. Trust me, she was bad news… Not Steven-bad, but bad enough. So bad that me and Lil literally baked him a cake to celebrate when he told us the news. Even Calvin joined in on the celebration. 

Guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m really looking forward to finally being able to just hang with my friends and check out Landon’s ass in peace, you know? Without feeling awkward or weird or out of place like I usually do at these stupid dances when I’m the only one without a date.

Only thing I’m worried about now is Lily pulling more of her matchmaker bullshit on me. Without a date to distract her, I have this really awful feeling she’s gonna see Homecoming as prime time to revive her ridiculous ‘Operation: Get Asher Laid’ (yes, that’s seriously the name. Ollie made it up as a joke last year and it stuck).

Anyway, she’s always hounding me about getting a boyfriend because, well… I’ve never had one before (lame, I know). And it’s not like I’m the only gay guy at this school. There are a few guys around here who are super open about it (and I’m sure even more who aren’t).

But I’m just really not interested in any of them.

I dunno. Honestly, the only guys at this school who really seem worth it are either straight (Exhibit A: Ollie. I’ve gotta admit, there was a time when I used to dream, but… he’s only ever had girlfriends. Total waste, right?) or they’re Landon. And first off, he is WAY out of my league. He may not act like a total asshole like the rest of the football team, but he’s most definitely on this… other level of cool. One I can probably never hope to reach.

And, number two, I have a feeling he’s straight too. 

I mean, I’ve never seen him with a girlfriend before, but that doesn’t necessarily mean anything. I’ve never had a boyfriend, but that doesn’t mean I’m not into guys. I just haven’t found the right one yet (well, minus the examples I already mentioned).

Lily keeps telling me I’ve gotta ‘go for it’ and find out for sure, but I think the Hollywood air is starting to go to her head or something. She’s convinced life is like a fucking romantic comedy.

Because we all know how this would go if it was on the big screen right? We’d work our way up to the grand finale, and then, things could go one of two ways.

Option one, Landon and I fall madly in love with each other and live happily ever after (less likely, but possible). Or option two, I’d find out he’s either straight, not into me, or a total fucking jerk like the rest of the popular crowd (probably all of the above, if we’re going full-Hollywood here). BUT — because there’s always gotta be a happy ending — the big plot twist is that my real true love has been right in front of me all along, and me and Random Side Character #2 ride off into the sunset together. Evil-Landon gets hit by a bus or something. Roll credits.

Except, y’know, the only problem is, life ISN’T a movie. And it would take way too long for me to sit here and write a decimal small enough to represent the probability of one of those cheesy Hollywood endings actually happening.

Chances are, if I tried making a move on Landon, it would all blow up in my face one way or another. Why risk messing up a good thing? 

Yes, Landon Littlehale is the hottest, most amazing guy to ever walk the planet, with an ass whose glory puts the fucking Taj Mahal to shame.

But there’s a reason archaeologists put those old monuments and artifacts behind glass and ropes and stuff, isn’t there? It’s safer for everybody if you just look and don’t touch, no matter how much you want to.

I’m okay standing on the tourist-side of the ropes for now. I don’t mind just sitting back, relaxing, and enjoying the sights.

Because let me tell you, it’s one hell of a view.

19 thoughts on “9.6: Eighth Wonder

  1. You’re such a tease with your cover! I thought Ash got him a hottie! Poor dude surrounded by straight guys. (HOT straight guys)! Well, never fear, I bet Landon IS but cannot come out for fear of those awful popular kids. Unfortunately things still haven’t changed that much in high school. But we can only hope SOMETHING will happen between them. Maybe at the dance?

    I wonder who Ollie will take to the dance or will they all go stag together (which would be a lot of fun) 🎉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lots of hotties around, it’s true!!!! And is Landon one of them, or not? 🤔 It’s a good question, and one I think Asher is too afraid to try and answer! Haha

      Next two chapters will focus on before and during the dance, so we’ll see what happens! 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh my. It would be a Hollywood movie if Landon turned out to be gay or at least Bi. But maybe he doesn’t know yet. Poor Asher. And that picture of him staring at Landons ass was priceless! 😂😂😂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I wonder if Landon has noticed the staring yet. Asher seems all but innocent with those. I won’t put Landon in a corner right now, but just not having a girlfriend or being surrounded by the majority of straight guys doesn’t really mean anything. Though it reminds me heavily of another FS that ended really tragically, so I’m trying not to think too much into it. I’m sure Asher will end up happier.

    Things would get better if he just asked Landon out. It might not have to be a date if he’s not brave enough, just some spending time together. It would give him a better view at Landon, not just his physical features, he would have the chance to find out if Landon likes him and if he is or might be gay or if he’s maybe just a jerk that’s not worth the time. I know it’s not easy, but right now Asher is admiring Landon in a way that can’t compare to reality if he goes on for too long, like putting him on a pedestal as his perfect piece of ass. Or does he hope if he follows him around enough he will turn around and include him at one point? Might work, but while it would speak for Landon, Asher really shouldn’t put himself in such a pitiful position, it would give the wrong idea about him.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re right that Asher should be brave! He’ll never know whether Landon’s interested or not if he doesn’t try “testing the waters” a little bit. And it’s so true — if he keeps admiring his crush from afar, it will put Landon on a weird sort of pedestal. Finding the bravery within himself to make a move isn’t exactly easy for the kid, but he should probably try. Just staring at Landon and following him around can’t last forever!

      Like

  4. Ooh, I love Asher! All his little scientific references (like a third wheel adding stability) are SO good, and just kind of naturally worked into his way of thinking. Super character development right there! 👏 And that opening screenshot is maybe the best Sims shot I’ve seen 😂🥰. Loving this gen so far!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This comment makes me happy! ❤️ Thank you! I’m glad that you love Asher so much (and his weird little logical moments sprinkled in there 😂)

      And OH MAN, that screenshot… I literally laughed out loud for about two minutes after I took it. It was the funniest thing! (I used one of the in-game animations for checking out an item at a retail store… except this time it was Landon’s ass that got checked out 😂😂😂😂😂)

      Thank you so much for reading, as always ❤️❤️❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  5. LOL Asher’s hopeless 😛 He’s also now my official cinnamon bun of the Rosebrooks ❤ He's gonna be so happy if Landon notices him xD

    As always, have a great day! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hehehe I’m glad you love Asher so much ❤️ Me too, actually! He’s quickly becoming one of my favorites!

      Oh man… if Landon ever notices him, Asher’s heart will sing! We’ll see if he ever gets lucky… 🤷🏻‍♀️

      Like

  6. You have high school pegged so well. The girls who like girls where I work are pretty open if there are gay boys at our school they are def in the closet. I hope Asher can find someone and not get his heart broke by Landon. Lilly turned out pretty maybe her and Ollie can become a thing. I enjoyed reading this seemed more pleasant than my RL day at working at a high school LOL. I can’t wait to see what happens.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah I think it’s a lot more “socially acceptable” for a girl to be gay than for a boy, in today’s world. It doesn’t really make sense but 🤷🏻‍♀️ I think it’s starting to shift though, slowly but surely! Asher is kinda half-in the closet, half-out. His nearest and dearest all know and support him, but he doesn’t broadcast it super openly at school (though He also isn’t actively trying to hide it either. Just being himself!)

      Hopefully no heartbreak in store for Asher, but I make no promises 😈😈😈 And LOL oh no, sorry it was a rough day with your high schoolers! I feel you though. My middle schoolers are so draining 😩

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks! The next chapter actually came out today! Two in one! 😁 and I am excited for it, even though I might not use it this gen 😦 Bad timing! Haha

      Like

  7. *sigh*

    Yeah, I figured as much, mate. Welcome to the LGBT+ Dating pool where your current romantic interrest and you msot likely share an ex!lol

    .Really thought, I had a feeling he would be straight. Buuuut you can never be too sure, hon. Dig some info and get to the bottom of this. You would be surprised with what you could find. 😉

    Love all those coment’s about Landon’s butt! lololol Serioulsy Asher is thristy, but at least he’s creative when it comes to it.

    Ugh. Poor Lilly. I can understand her being annoyed, and much like her, I’m very much wanting to see how the ball is going to be! I *do* think Asher might end up getting a date in between, I mean, he’s cute, and if he puts himself out there, some guy is surely going to want to date him.

    In the worse case scenario, there’s always grindr. lol

    Also is the whole movie-ending descripition Asher made some kind of forshadowing???I expect nothing less then Asher making out with a stranger and Landon being hit by a bus by the end of this gem lol jk.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha it’s true, he should do some digging before jumping to conclusions! You never know…

      And LMAO thirsty is right 😂😂😂 Maybe he will get desperate enough to resort to Grindr, but hopefully not! 😂😂😂

      Tomorrow’s chapter will show what happens at the dance! And as for any foreshadowing… 🤷🏻‍♀️😈 We will have to wait and see hehe

      Liked by 1 person

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