8.1: A Trillion-Jillion Years

Ugh! My Mama is a big fat liar. (Hmm… Okay, maybe not the big and fat part, but the liar part!)

She told me flying on an airplane was “fun” and “exciting” and “an adventure”. But it’s really just noisy and stupid and boring.

We’ve been on this thing for a million-jillion years already. And Papa told me we STILL have four more hours! Which is secret code for a trillion-jillion years. Blegh!

When I grow up, I’m gonna invent a teleporter. Like the ones in Galaxy Quest 7. Then you can go wherever you want in the whole entire world and it won’t be boring and make your ears feel like they’re gonna explode.

I guess it wouldn’t be so bad if there was something fun to do. But all the movies on the plane are lame and my tablet died, so now I’m stuck. I was gonna get out my sketchbook and start designing me and Zelda’s costumes for GeekCon, but I don’t wanna do it without asking her for ideas first. And I wanted to call and talk to her about it, but my parents said you aren’t allowed to use a phone on an airplane (Why????).

That was when Papa gave me one of his notebooks. He told me I should try writing. So I am.

I guess it’s kinda like one of those “tradition” thingies. Everybody in my whole family writes something. My Oma Harper writes books. My Opa Erik writes computer-y stuff. My Onkel Tam writes D&D campaigns. My Onkel Jasper writes science-y things. My Mama writes magazine articles. And my Papa writes lotsa notes about his clients.

And he writes in a journal too.

And out of all those choices, that one’s definitely the easiest. Papa says journals are where you write down everything you’re thinking and feeling. And I’m thinking about lotsa stuff right now. So I’m gonna have a lot to write about.

And maybe if I keep writing and writing and writing, the next trillion-jillion years will go by faster, and we’ll be in America.

I bet it’s already been like an hour since I started writing. I’m gonna ask Papa.

Ten minutes?! Ughhhhhhh…

Okay. Gotta find more stuff to talk about.

I don’t even know who’s gonna read this thing anyway. Probably nobody. I guess it doesn’t matter if anybody does… as long as it’s not the pain-in-the-butt (aka Tristan).

Nah, I don’t think he’d really do it. He’s still the biggest pain-in-the-butt ever, but he’s not the worst little brother in the world. And according to him, I’m the best big sister (duh). So he wouldn’t do it… I think. And besides, he doesn’t like reading anyway. And he’s only six, so he sucks at it too.

But Zelda is definitely allowed. She loves reading (even though she’s only a year older than Tristan. He’s just dumb). And I tell her everything. She’s two years younger than me, but she’s still my best friend in the world. And my cousin too.

But she’s only been my cousin for a couple years. I know that sounds weird. I have to explain it to people all the time.

I still remember when Tam and Jasper told me I was gonna get a new cousin. I thought it was gonna be a baby. Everybody did.

They always love telling the story about when they saw Zelda’s picture for the first time. They thought they wanted to get a baby, but they said when they saw her, they just knew. And when they found out her name was Zelda (like the princess), Tam said it was destiny. They’ve been a family ever since.

She was really quiet when I first met her. Way more quiet than me. She told me it took a little while before she felt like she was part of the family. But now, it’s like she’s always been here. And she only gets quiet now if super rude people ask her about being adopted. Ugh. Dummies.

Okay, that had to be an hour now. I’m gonna ask Papa again.

FIVE minutes?! Did somebody cast a Slow Time spell or something?! Maybe Papa’s watch is broken. That’s gotta be it. We HAVE to get there soon. Or else I’m gonna go CRAZY! Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

I swear I’m not usually this grumpy about stuff. It’s just SO annoying. Even more annoying than Tristan!

I’m still excited about going to America though, even if the plane part is super lame. I’ve never been so far away from home before. And we’ve never gone on a family trip together either!

We’re going to Brindle Bay because Papa’s friends are getting married. Addy and Niko. Papa says I met them before when I was really little, but I don’t really remember. It was a long time ago. He’s told me about them before though. He says I’ll really like them. And they know some German too, so we can talk to them. That’ll be cool.

I’m just happy Mama and Papa said me and Tristan could come too. I was afraid they’d say we couldn’t. They fought about it after Papa got the wedding invitation. I still remember the day it came in the mail. I watched him open it when he got home from work.

At first he looked really happy. Then he looked… kinda sad, maybe. Or confused. It was weird. Then he went downstairs to talk to Mama (by the way, “talk” means “get in a super-stupid fight”).

I don’t think he knew I followed him. And I definitely don’t think he knew I could hear what they were saying. But it was mostly just yelling. Same as always. Ugh.

It started out with all this stuff about “bad memories” that was really weird. It sounded like Mama didn’t wanna go.

But then they couldn’t decide whether Papa was gonna come by himself or not. Or if they were gonna bring me and Tristan too. And then they started fighting about how long we were gonna stay. It was so stupid. But their fights are ALWAYS stupid, so I guess I’m used to it.

Anyway, I was soooo sure they were gonna be mean and say me and Tristan had to stay at home. But they didn’t!

So now it’s gonna be a big vacation! Papa promised he’d take me to the beach and Mama said we could go shopping and see the lighthouse. I can’t wait! And I know Tristan’s really excited too. He says he wants to ride on a boat while we’re there, but I bet he’ll be too chicken. Ha!

Uh oh. I’m running out of stuff to say again. Plus this dinky little table thing is all wobbly. And no offense, but all this writing’s starting to get kinda boring… And my hand sorta hurts too.

Do you think NOW it’s been an hour? It has to be, right?

I’m gonna check again.

I give up! Papa says I need to stop asking, or time will go even slower (Is that even possible?!)

Then he said I should take a nap ‘cause sleeping is the only thing that can speed up time. And I think he’s right.

It’s like in the movies, when people are on a space ship and they go to sleep in those weird tube things. And when they wake up, BAM, they’re on the other side of the universe and it feels like it only took two seconds to get there.

So… I guess I’ll try it. I think I’ll write some more later though. Maybe when we get to the hotel. But for now, Papa’s right. I guess I’m kinda tired anyways. I should try and go to sleep.

I mean, how else am I supposed to survive the next trillion-jillion years on this dumb plane?

————————–

All readers: “OMG Amanda, SLOW DOWN! What happened to your supposed ‘once-a-week’, irregular schedule?”

Me: “I’m just excited, okay?!” 😥

LOL no but seriously. Sorry for inundating you guys with chapters lately. I was just eager to get the ball rolling. This will genuinely be the last one in this random ‘burst’, because I’m no longer on vacation and am now back to teaching and taking my class 😦 Next chapter will probably be Saturday (yes, really. I have work to do for my class that I can’t put off anymore 😛 )

Okay, enough chatter from me. Welcome to Gen 8! 🙂