Everybody always talks about how “time flies when you’re having fun”. And obviously time doesn’t actually move any faster. It’s all in our heads. It’s an illusion.
But you don’t have to be having fun for that illusion to take effect either. Sometimes time flies when you’re insanely busy. Or incredibly stressed out. Or both. Anything but bored, really.
The last few months haven’t been ‘fun’ at all… But they’ve definitely been busy. And stressful as hell. So they flew by.
But it was worth it, because they all led up to one of the most amazing moments of my entire life.
This is probably the craziest thing I’ve ever had to write, but… I’m a father now.
Our little Emberlynn decided to make her grand entrance two weeks sooner than we expected. She took us all by surprise.
Gigi had been feeling some contractions throughout the day, but we really didn’t think anything of it at first. She thought it was the usual kind she’d been getting. The kind that don’t really mean anything.
But when we were over at Papa and Rubi’s for dinner that night, we realized it was go-time.
And then, about eight hours later, our little girl was here.
Gigi did so great. She was screaming and swearing the entire time, but it’s not like I could blame her. And seeing her go through that… I dunno. It’s like I saw her in a different way or something. A way I’d never seen before. And it made me feel a lot closer to her.
Especially when I got to see our daughter for the first time. The little human being we created together. It’s one of the oldest cliches, but seriously, I fell completely in love with her the second I saw her. It was incredible.
I’ll be honest though, it’s kind of bizarre too. If you think about it, it doesn’t make a lot of sense.
Like, you’re holding this squishy little thing in your arms that screams and cries and poops and essentially looks like a wrinkly little potato. And yet all you can think is “Oh my God, I would literally die for this smelly little lump.”
Tam says all newborns automatically cast a level 20 charm spell on anybody who looks at them. And, well, I’ve gotta agree. She’s got us all wrapped around her little fingers (all of them!) already.
The first couple days, we were totally on cloud nine. It felt so amazing to be able to have Gigi and Emberlynn in my arms and just know that we’re a family. A whole one. Complete. What I’ve always wanted.
It hasn’t been quite so easy since we came home though. I’m not really sure what changed. Being in the hospital just felt different, I guess.
Even with Mama and Dev and Oma and even Lila helping out, it’s just so much work. Like, more work than I ever thought it’d be. Between doing work for my classes and trying to take care of the baby, I can’t even remember the last time I slept for more than like four hours at a time. And I know it’s just as bad for Gigi too.
But that hasn’t been making things any easier for the two of us. We stopped going to therapy back in October. It finally felt like we were getting somewhere. We really didn’t think we’d need it anymore. And things were pretty good for a while.
But now that the ‘high’ of having a new baby wore off, we’re just… tired. Of everything. Including each other, most days. We always get into these stupid fights over the most pointless shit. Like whose turn it is to feed Emberlynn. Or change her diaper. Or get up and check on her when she cries at night.
I guess we’re back into that old pattern again — it’s like a rollercoaster. We have amazing days, where everything feels perfect. And then we have terrible ones, where it feels like we can’t stand each other.
I’m really hoping it all wears off soon. I think it’s normal to have some extra stress at first, isn’t it? We’ve just gotta get into a routine. Then things will be better again. They’ve gotta be.
For now, it’s just hard.
And when things get hard, I catch myself thinking about Lola. I know I shouldn’t. I’ve tried so hard to put her behind me, especially after that night she called me.
But I just can’t help worrying a little. If my math’s right, she should be having her baby in just a couple months. Will she be alright? Is this Jorden guy still treating her okay? Are they gonna be able to handle all the stinky diapers and spit up and sleepless nights? Will he stick by her through it all?
I still talk to Addy and Niko sometimes. Not nearly as much as I’d hoped we would, but every once in a while. And as much as I hate trying to spy, I’ve gotten them to tell me a bit. They said Jorden’s a nice guy. They say Lola’s happy and she’s doing well… But that’s all they really say. And I think I know why.
I have a feeling Lola doesn’t really want them talking about her with me. She’s totally shut me out again. I’ve tried reaching out to her a couple times over the past few months, but she ignored me. So I gave up.
I guess it’s really over now. And as much as I hate to admit it… it still hurts. So fucking bad.
I know things will get easier, eventually. I’ll be able to move on, and stop thinking about Lola. Gigi and I will settle into a routine and stop being so miserable. And we’ll get to watch our little girl grow up together.
She’s what makes this whole thing worth it. When I think back on how fucked up this whole thing is, how different this all is from what I ever wanted, or imagined… I just keep reminding myself that if none of it had happened, we wouldn’t have Emberlynn. She wouldn’t exist.
And now that she’s here… How could I ever wish for a life without her?
There are a hell of a lot of things I regret about the last couple of years. But she’ll never be one of them. She’s everything to us now. And for her, we’re gonna find a way to make this thing work.
I know things will never be the same again. Even if we didn’t have Emberlynn, things are always gonna be pretty fucked up between me and Gigi. Some things are just too broken to ever go back to how they used to be.
But just because you can’t make something as good as new again doesn’t mean you can’t still patch it up. Maybe there are still cracks. A few holes. A leak or two…
But even something beaten, banged-up, and hanging on by a thread can still work, can’t it?
It reminds me of that old food processor Opa used to have. He loved that thing. He had it for years. But after a while, the motor kept dying, the blades had to be replaced way too many times, and the plastic cover had this huge crack in it. And Opa could’ve easily thrown it away and gotten a new one. But he didn’t.
He’d always tell us that it was because he’d had it for so long, and he didn’t wanna give up on it.
Because as banged up and broken as it was, it still worked. Definitely not perfectly… but well enough.
I know Gigi and I can never be perfect either. We’ll never work together as well as we used to… but it’s not time to throw us away yet either.
As much as I used to dream of having this perfect, happy marriage, I’m starting to think I can learn to live with ‘well enough’.
And I think Gigi can too.
I just hope that’s enough for our Emberlynn.
And on that note, we bid goodbye to Phoenix’s generation 😮 My shortest generation aside from Alex’s and Mari’s (yes, even Tobi and Stefan’s was longer!) but honestly one of my favorites. I hope you all enjoyed it too!
Like I did at the end of the teen arc, I wanna give some quick shoutouts for people who helped made the YA arc special (including a second round of applause for OJenn and Wagonfruit for Gigi and Tam! I gave them shoutouts in the teen arc, but they deserve another round!) But this time I’d also like to add some huge thanks to…
–haswh, for creating Gigi and Phoenix’s Windenburg apartment
–Bugsie2016, for Tam and Jasper’s apartment
–cecrose0208, for creating the vacation home Gigi and Phoenix lived in in Brindleton Bay
–OJenn, for creating Phoenix’s friend Niko
–YJB19299, for creating Phoenix’s other friend, Addy
–BBQPenguinWings, for the unforgettable Lola
I’m so grateful to all of you for submitting these sims and lots for me! They were all wonderful and I loved using them in my story ❤
Thank you all so much for reading this rollercoaster ride of a generation!
See you sometime next week with the debut of Generation Eight: Emberlynn ^_^