7.52: For Better or Worse

Note: A couple NSFW shots in this one

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The pale yellow liquid shimmered in the candlelight as Gigi stared down into her wine glass. I need more of this. She thought miserably as she lifted the glass to her lips and downed what remained.

Something in the back of her mind told her it wasn’t a good idea to be drinking, but she managed to quickly silence it. I’m being ridiculous, she told herself. It’s fine.

That had been her second glass already. She’d foolishly hoped it would do something to help alleviate some of the pain she felt that evening… but it didn’t. If anything, it almost felt like it was making things worse. Maybe the third one will finally do it. That’s what they always say, right? Third time’s the charm…

But maybe that wasn’t true about everything. It certainly wasn’t the case with Brandon. That was four times… Or maybe it was five. Either way, it was far too many. She should have come to her senses before the first time even happened. But she didn’t. And she’d ruined everything.

“How’s the salmon?” Phoenix’s voice called her back to the present.

Gigi looked up at him, taking in the sight of the forced smile on his handsome face. How many times has it been for HIM? She wondered, thinking back on all the sudden late nights Phoenix was now spending ‘at the library’ or ‘with his friends’. Gigi felt her stomach lurch at the thought.

“It’s great.” She answered at last, hoping she sounded sincere. “Wanna try some?”

Her husband shook his head, gesturing down at the steak in front of him. “I’m good. Thanks, though.”

They fell back into an uneasy silence as they continued their meals.

Gigi could practically feel the guilt and shame radiating off of him. She’d felt it for almost two weeks now, ever since that first night he returned so late from Lola’s. God, was I this obvious too, she wondered? Phoenix had never tried to confront her about it. But then, would he really be brave enough to? Of course not.

It was taking nearly every ounce of willpower she had not to confront him right now. But Gigi knew it was neither the time nor the place. And what right did she have to confront him anyway? Why should she be hurt or upset by any of this? He wasn’t doing anything she hadn’t already done herself, was he?

Without warning, Gigi felt the hot prickling of tears in the corner of her eyes. She choked back a small sob as she took another bite of her fish. Keep it together. She told herself firmly. She’d lasted nearly two weeks without shedding a single tear about it… Surely she could last a few more hours.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Phoenix leaned forward slightly from across the table, his face etched with concern. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah… Just tired.” She lied. “Do you think we can box this stuff up and bring it home?”

Her husband nodded. “Whatever you want.”

Even now, he still gave in to so much of what she wanted. But Gigi didn’t even have the strength to feel annoyed by it anymore.

“Thanks. And thanks again for dinner too…” Gigi tried her best to smile. “Happy Anniversary.”

The drive back home was nearly silent. Phoenix had become so quiet and withdrawn lately… and Gigi knew exactly why. She’d felt the same way when she was in his shoes. But she’d had the advantage of having Tam and Jasper there when things were at their worst. It offered a nice distraction from all the pain and guilt she’d felt.

But Phoenix didn’t have that now.

So Gigi decided to try and distract him other ways.

It was easy enough to get him into bed with her once they made it back home. Her husband would never turn down sex with her, even now.

And it was just as satisfying as ever. They didn’t use any of their toys this time, but Phoenix took total control. He held her down and ravaged her body just the way she always wanted him to.

How was it that no matter how terribly things fell apart between them, things always seemed to feel okay when they fell into bed together? No one could ever know her body the way Phoenix did. No one could ever satisfy her the way he could either.

So why had she done it then?

Brandon was a fun guy, but he didn’t love her. And she knew she didn’t love him either. Not like she loved Phoenix.

But it was like she’d told Tam… She was tired. No matter how amazing things were in the bedroom, the moment it was all over, she was forced to pretend. She had to act like she was happy. Like she wasn’t miserable. Like everything was okay.

It just felt so good being with someone where neither of them had to pretend for once. She could have fun, be herself, and just forget for a little while.

Was that why Phoenix was doing it too? Was he just as tired of pretending as she was?

At first, Gigi had thought Tam was crazy to suggest that her husband would make the same terrible mistake she had. And yet here they were. In just a few short weeks, the tables had completely turned.

What the hell happened to us? Gigi wondered as she stepped into the steaming shower.

She’d been telling herself for so long that she could wait it out. That it wasn’t worth burdening Phoenix with her troubles. That things would get better.

But now look at where they’d ended up. She’d betrayed him worse than she ever dreamed she would. And now, it seemed he was doing the same to her too.

I should have been honest with him sooner. I should’ve let him talk to me instead of pushing him away. But now it’s too late…

Gigi hadn’t been happy for a very long time. And she knew Phoenix hadn’t been either. And if things kept going the way they had been, it seemed that neither of them ever would be again. Not together, anyway.

And wouldn’t that be easier? To just call it quits and end things? I could go back home to Germany… I could be back where I feel like I belong.

But as tempting as it was, there was something in Gigi’s heart that knew she couldn’t be without Phoenix. No matter how much she’d grown to resent him over the past year, she just couldn’t let him go. It didn’t matter how miserable she felt with him now… She’d be even more miserable without him. She was sure of it.

He was her first love. They’d been through so much together. Who could ever replace him? Who would ever treat her as well as he did? Who could ever mean even half as much to her as he did?

No one, she realized. No one ever could.

Gigi couldn’t let herself lose him. Especially not now. I need him… Maybe more than I ever have before, she silently admitted.

But if she didn’t do something, she’d lose him to Lola forever. Hell, maybe she already had.

All she knew was that she couldn’t just sit back and do nothing anymore.

“For better or for worse”… that was the promise they’d made to each other a year ago. And, well, Gigi couldn’t imagine things ever being much worse than they were right now.

But maybe it wasn’t too late to finally make them better.

42 thoughts on “7.52: For Better or Worse

  1. Wow. You said it yourself, Phoenix constantly gives into everything she wants; Gigi truly has the last word in the relationship, and is it that bad that Phoenix doesn’t care to even have a say in any aspects of the relationship? Wow 😮

    Their intimate life may be good , but at the end of the day, good sex doesn’t make a good relationship. It is becoming seriously unhealthy for them, and they are just hurting each other.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yeah things are really awful. Like, really really awful haha But Gigi doesn’t want to let go. She wants to find a way to hold on to the shambles of their marriage. But we’ll see if it works…

      You’re so right. This isn’t healthy anymore 😦

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh Gigi! Too little too late? Or is it? So it sounds like he and Lola may have taken things to the next level. But I don’t see Lola settling for being a mistress. She has true feelings for Phoenix and I think he does for her. I think he truly thinks he and Gigi or over or he wouldn’t have gone back. Lola isn’t just a distraction like Brandon was with Gigi. And she is going to want him to get a divorce and soon. Hmmm. Will this be the first divorce in A2A?

    They both looked so miserable at their anniversary dinner and it’s so sad that it fell apart so quickly. In just a year. It almost sounds like Gigi would be willing to go to counseling with him if he would take her back. She suddenly wants to fix things. Tam’s talk did more good than I realized. But was it too late? With Gigi’s sudden change of heart, things are going to get super messy because she won’t give up without a fight. She seems to be in panic mode.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yeah the timing is really bad right now… she’s finally seen that she has to take an active role in trying to fix this marriage if she wants to save it. But it might be too late 😦

      They could very well be headed for divorce at this point, unless Gigi manages to get through to him. But like you said, those feelings he has for Lola seem pretty real… might not be easy to undo them now :-/

      Liked by 1 person

    1. We will get confirmation next chapter but like Gigi said, he’s acting guilty and spending lots of late nights out. So it seems pretty certain that he’s now having an affair

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  3. Y a l l this is painful. I want Gigi to go back to Germany because I’m depressed for her. Please, someone in this relationship take care of themselves.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Hmm…so sad. What a rotten anniversary. They need to do things TOGETHER. It’s like they only do things in bed then lead separate lives. That’s not a marriage. Plus, they never talk about things. If she loves Phee so much then why not fight for him?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. WP ate my reply to you 😭 I’ll try again

      This was basically the worst anniversary ever 😦 But it’s been a huge wake up call for Gigi. She had been too afraid before of being honest with him about her feelings. She was afraid of losing him if he knew how unhappy she was, so she brushed it all under the rug and kept hoping things would get better. But in doing so, she ended up falling into the arms of someone else, and pushing him away too.

      She sees that now, and I do think she’s finally ready to fight. But it might be too late :-/

      Like

    1. I don’t blame you! They’re both being so frustrating and basically throwing away their marriage 😦 Maybe they can finally turn things around though?

      Like

  5. My God mother celebrated their 42 anniversary in July. She says, ” the key to a good marriage is God and communication.’ If you truly love someone you have to work on your relationship together. Never go into a marriage thinking if it doesn’t work I can always get a divorce. God meant for marriage to last forever.” She is a older lady, however I can tell her anything, even things I never tell my parents.
    They both need a therapist. I have a feeling they are going to split up.
    Can’t wait to find out if Phoenix is sleeping with Lola. No matter what happens someone is going to get hurt.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Your god mother has some great marriage advice — Phee and Gigi both need to try and work through things together. Phoenix has tried a bit but now that Gigi is more open, maybe they can try again? Unless it’s too late… that’s one thing that remains to be seen…

      Next chapter we will get 100% confirmation of whether or not Phoenix is cheating. Things don’t look too good right now but he might surprise us!

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      1. I hope he is not. I hate to see Lola hurt. She seems so sweet.
        I really don’t care for Gigi, but she is his wife and if they truly care for each other they need to work on their marriage

        Liked by 3 people

    1. I’m sorry you’re going through something like this 😦 Just writing about it is upsetting enough, I can’t even imagine how hard it would be to actually be living it. Hugs to you ❤️

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  6. I’m glad Gigi is ready to talk. It’s going to take a ton of work but I believe it can be fixed, eventually. Hopefully Phoenix wants to fix it but he might not after all she’s done and possibly himself too. She made the situation worse. She could have told him early how much she didn’t like it there. They could have made arrangements to make it better. I really hope Phee and Lola have only been hanging out and not sleeping together. I hope he’s just upset over the one kiss they shared. Also that was the saddest one year anniversary ever.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, if she manages to succeed, it will not be easy! But at least she’s finally going to try. If only she’d thought of this earlier 😦 We will get clarification next time in terms of what is actually going on with Phoenix and Lola. And we’ll see what happens when Gigi and Phoenix talk too…

      Definitely a depressing anniversary 😦 Thank you so much for reading my story, even when things are so bleak!

      Like

  7. I’m reeling right now. Is this in the future? Why do you keep doing this to us, Amanda!!! I’m just so flabbergasted. Brandon, really? Can I just mention as a side note that there is a surprisingly amount of Brandon’s who are “bad guys.” lol But I’m disappointed in these guys. There relationship has gotten out of hand and like Gigi said she shouldn’t have pushed him away and my main question is why. Why did she push him away. It may not be too late. But it’s going to take them to a place where they have to fight like hell to get their relationship to work out. They are at a crossroads now where they need to decide if they are going to give up or do better for the relationship. I must point out that they BOTH need to agree on the decision. Not just Gigi, and not just Phoenix, BOTH OF THEM. This is one bad first anniversary I’ve ever seen. I now need Wednesday to get here. These cliffhangers!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha sorry this one left you reeling like that 😬 This is only a couple of weeks after last Wednesday’s chapter. Gigi’s conversation with Tam really got through to her, plus now seeing the signs that she wasn’t the only one who cheated.

      As for why she kept pushing away, that was ind of touched upon in her last POV chapter. She was too afraid to confess to Phoenix how miserable she was, because she feared losing him. But by not opening up, she ended up making things so much worse. She let things fester for too long until it pushed her into the arms of a friend, and pushed Phoenix away until it pushed him to Lola too.

      There could still be a sliver of hope for these two, but it won’t be easy… We will see more on Wednesday…

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  8. I feel that Gigi is finally ready to talk out all the issues with Phoenix. I really hope its not too late to fix their marriage though. I really do love them as a couple and they obviously were very happy together before the move, so hopefully they can be happy together again.

    I dont think Phoenix should end up with Lola, in the last chapter she clearly encouraged him to cheat (not that Gigi is any better, cheating on Phoenix).

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad you still root for Gigi! Someone has to haha She’s really messed up badly (and now Phoenix has too) but she really wants to try and fix it now. But you’re right — it COULD be too late. She really needs to talk to Phoenix…

      And you do bring up a good point. Lola isn’t so innocent in all this either. Honestly, all three of them have really screwed up badly here. It will take a lot of damage control now to make things right in some way… :-/

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  9. Well, this is royally fucked up.
    Can they save it? Maybe, but I’m leaning towards the big “no no” since Phee has set his eyes on Lola. I’m really skeptical.
    I REALLY wish they can save their marriage tho: if they survive this huge storm nothing will separate them!

    (this part of the story is really hitting home with me. I’m a Gigi type of gal and my boyfriend is definitely Phee.
    I can get moody really fast and he usually lets me get away with everything, blaming himself for making me upset. Even when it’s totally my fault, no matter how many times I say it’s my awful temper.
    I’m gonna call him right away ’cause I’m terrified now!
    Who knows, maybe this plot saved my relationship 😂)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Royally fucked up is a perfect description, I fear haha. But there could be hope for them yet! And you’re right — if they manage to survive this, they can probably survive anything! LOL

      Also… if it makes you feel any better, true story, Phoenix and Gigi’s relationship dynamic is loosely based on myself and my fiancé 😬 And I am the Gigi lol. I have a very strong personality and a bad temper and he can be a total pushover. A few years back we got into this giant fight where he called me out for “treating him like shit” (his words… still sting, gah!) and I in turn called him out on the fact that he’d let me get away with it for so long without letting me know it upset him, so how was I supposed to know and try to change??? It was a huge messy fight, but also a positive turning point in our relationship (and, well, we’re getting married next year, ,so things are going pretty darn good now lol)

      We are so much better now than we used to be. Ever since that fight, I’ve been a lot more aware of my temper and not taking out things on him and he’s gotten more assertive when it comes to calling me out on my shit. We both still have our “Phoenix and Gigi” moments, but once we both became more self-aware of our issues, it really changed things in our relationship for the better.

      Sorry for that giant personal story haha I haven’t told a lot of people how PheeGi is loosely based on my own relationship before because I guess it makes us sound fucked up haha. But I promise these are also exaggerated versions, and no infidelity occurred 😉 Anyway, the point is, I totally relate to you as well! And I’m sure you guys will be fine ❤

      Thank you so much for reading, by the way! ❤ ❤ ❤

      Like

  10. FINALLY caught all up on your series (I found it a couple weeks ago and I’ve been binging it ever since). So here are my thoughts on this generation so far:

    1) Totally called that Gigi was cheating when she came home late and said she needed to shower. Total cheater move (been with only one person that I know has cheated and that was a typical behavior of his).
    2) The relationship between Gigi and Phoenix is really unhealthy. Neither is fulfilled or happy and what makes it even more “funny” is that they both should know better since they’re in the communication and psychological fields respectively.
    3) I think it’s an amazing plot point to have Phoenix become a therapist. Especially with all the wonders therapy has worked for the Rosebrooks for helping them reconcile their past.

    I’ve got sooo many more thoughts but I’ve also got a sims game of my own to play as far as I can before ‘Get Famous’ comes out 😛

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you SO much for taking the time to read! ❤ I know this thing is a BEAST, so I seriously appreciate all the time you put in to read it! And thanks for sharing your thoughts too 🙂 I like lists, so I'll respond in a list too 😛

      1. Ugh, I'm sorry you were with someone who did that to you 😦 That's so awful!
      2. Yes, I'm enjoying a bit of irony with these two (in an awful, awful way lol). It's very loosely based on a close friend of mine who has a Masters Degree in Psychology and currently works as a crisis counselor. When we were in college and she was studying Psych, she was in two back-to-back toxic relationships. And literally EVERYONE saw the signs but her. We'd even try to gently call her out on it and she'd end up making excuses, even though she 100% should ahve known better. It wasn't until she finally got out of those relationships that she finally realized how bad they were. I think it was a combination of her age (college kid, like Phee!) and also being blinded by the fact that it was her own relationship. I thought that was such an interesting (and sad/frustrating!) irony to see play out in real life myself, so I decided to incorporate it into my story. I told her about it and she is fine with it LOL
      3) I'm glad you approve of Phee's chosen career! Unfortunately as we've seen, it's done little to help himself/his own relationship… but we got to see him really help Jasper and Tam, so he IS good at what he does… just not when applied to himself 😛

      Thanks again for sharing your thoughts, and enjoy playing 😀 Maybe my Gen 8 heiress will have to be famous in some way so I can use the new pack, hmmm…. 😛

      Liked by 1 person

  11. This is so messed up.

    I mean, they could continue having a ”secret” affair with another person, and *maybe* having a few secret family’s on their own…?But, that ain’t healthy at all. It’s interresting to see that while Gigi still feels very strong emotions towards Phoenix, Phoenix himself is starting to question his own feelings for Gigi, AKA, there are more chances of him breaking up with her, than the other way around.

    However, she might not actually love Phoenix. If she *did* indeed love Phoenix, she would just let him go. Love is about making the one you love happy, even if it isn’t with you. Gigi surely got used to having Phoenix around, and just is afraid of what might happen if they break up.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Insightful as always! There’s definitely a certain level of fear simply because they’ve been together so long and letting go is scary! It’s hard to say whether she truly still loves Phoenix or not. But that’s definitely what she’s been telling herself it is!

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Hot damn. I’m just along for the ride at this point unsure what my own hopes for these two even are. They’ve both cheated so they’re on even playing ground there, but like…?

    Liked by 1 person

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