7.51: Head or Heart

Note: One NSFW screenshot ahead

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“Phoenix… Are you sure you’re okay?” Addy asked softly from across the table.

Phoenix wished he’d had a better poker face, but it seemed he’d failed. All of his friends knew something was wrong… But that shouldn’t have meant they had to bug him about it, should it? Ugh! Why can’t she just leave it alone?!

He had been expecting a fun evening with his friends — something he’d needed desperately after all the stress and uncertainty he’d been feeling lately. Instead, they’d decided to give him the third degree all night.

Before he had a chance to reply, Niko looked up from his character sheet, shaking his head.

“You’ve asked him twice already… He’s not going to tell you what’s wrong.”

Addy looked over at him. “I know.” She sighed. “I’m just worried.”

“Me too.” Niko admitted. “But it’s not like we can force him to talk to us.”

“Seriously?! He’s sitting right there.” Lola grumbled in annoyance at her friends.

Phoenix flashed her a grateful smile. “Yeah, gotta practice your Stealth rolls, guys.” He tried not to let himself feel embarrassed or angry at their words. They were just worried. “Like I said before, I’m fine. Now, did everybody pick a class?”

“Not yet… But I’m thinking Cleric, maybe?” Niko picked up the players’ manual from the table as he spoke.

Thankfully, his friends remained focused on creating their new D&D characters for the rest of their time together, and did not discuss his mood again.

It wasn’t until Niko and Addy had both headed home that Lola decided to broach the subject once more… But when it was her, Phoenix didn’t mind.

“So, at the risk of sounding like Addy…” Lola seemed unable to resist cracking a small smile as she finished putting away the last of the notebooks and returned to the table. “Is there something you need to talk about?” She asked gently. “It’s okay if you don’t want to. But you know I’ll always listen.”

I know… That’s part of the problem. Phoenix thought. “Thanks, Lola.” He replied at last. “It’s just… Y’know. The usual crap.”

And that wasn’t a total lie, either. But there was something else on his mind he wasn’t mentioning too. He couldn’t.

Lola let out a small sigh. “I had a feeling…” Her face fell as she spoke. “I just wish there was something I could do to help.”

“You do help.” He assured her. “Way more than you probably realize. And it means a lot to me.” Phoenix realized how rarely he actually thanked her for being there for him.

Her soft, beautiful lips curled into a smile. “I’m glad.” She replied softly. “It’s just hard sometimes seeing you like this.”

“What do you mean?”

Lola hesitated for a moment. “I like Gigi, so I feel like a total bitch for saying this, but… You deserve better than this, Phoenix. You deserve to be happy… But you’re not.”

She looked so sad as she spoke, but so beautiful too. Phoenix found himself lost in her big, brown eyes. His next words left his lips before he even realized what he was saying.

“I am when I’m with you.”

He watched as her cheeks grew a pleasant shade of pink. “Come on. Do you have any idea how that sounds?”

“I do.” He replied almost guiltily. “But it’s the truth.”

For a few moments, Lola said nothing. Phoenix studied every inch of her gorgeous face, trying to figure out what she might be thinking. But it was impossible.

“Phoenix.” At last, she spoke. He loved the way his name sounded on her lips. “What are we doing? What the hell is this?”

“This?”

Lola nodded. “This.” She gestured quickly between the two of them.

Phoenix furrowed his brow in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“Nice try, but you’re smarter than that.” Despite everything, she managed another smile. “You know exactly what I mean… Unless you really don’t.” Her smile vanished just as quickly as it had come.  “In which case, I’m officially the biggest idiot in the entire world.” She rose to her feet as she spoke, turning away from him. “God, this is embarrassing.”

That was when Phoenix finally realized. She can feel it too… And she’s just as scared and confused as I am. The thought somehow both thrilled and terrified him all at once.

He rose from his seat as well, taking a few steps to close the distance between them. “You’re not an idiot. I do know what you mean.” He said softly.

“You do?” She turned around to face him.

He nodded. “And the answer is, I don’t know. I have no idea what we’re doing or what the hell this is. But I…”

That was when he felt it again. That same urge he’d felt last week at the cafe. Her lips were so soft and full and her gaze so warm and loving… Phoenix wanted nothing more than to kiss her.

And this time, instead of trying to fight that urge, he gave in.

Her lips were just as soft as Phoenix had imagined they would be… but warmer too. It was amazing.

And he instantly found himself wondering just how soft and warm the rest of her might be too.

As though on cue, Lola finally opened her mouth against his, letting out a soft moan as she did so. He slowly ran one of his hands up the bare skin of her thigh as she pressed her body closer and closer to him.

Phoenix found himself growing hard with excitement and anticipation. How long had he been craving this? How many times had he secretly dreamt of this moment?

But what about Gigi? A small voice in the back of his mind seemed to whisper. She’s your WIFE. And if you go through with this…

It took every ounce of willpower he had to finally pull away from her. “Fuck. Lola, I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Her face was flushed and her breaths were heavy. It did nothing to help the desire that Phoenix was fighting so desperately to ignore.

“I can’t do this… It’s not right. I… I want to. But… I just can’t.”

It pained him to see the hurt and disappointment cross her face. “I get it.” She replied softly. “You’re right. You’re married…” Lola lowered her eyes for a moment. “We can’t.”

“I’m sorry.” He repeated. “I… I wish I…” Phoenix shook his head. “I should go.”

“Y-yeah… Okay.” Lola’s voice was small.

He turned away and took two steps toward the door.

Then stopped.

Phoenix knew he needed to get out of there. He needed to head back home before he did something crazy. Something he’d end up regretting forever.

He thought of his brother, and all the pain that terrible mistake he’d made at that party had caused him. And tonight, Phoenix had already made the same one.

I can’t make an even WORSE mistake, can I?

But would it really be such a mistake after all? To finally do what he’d been dreaming of for weeks, maybe months. To feel connected to someone who understood him better than his wife ever could. To finally be happy… What could be so wrong about any of that?

Because you’d be a dirty, rotten cheater. A bitter voice whispered in his mind. It doesn’t matter how miserable you are. You’re married. You can’t do this to Gigi. This is wrong. You’re better than this.

“Phoenix?” Over his shoulder, Lola whispered his name.

What should I do?! Phoenix’s entire body felt numb. His head wanted him to run back home as quickly as he could. But his heart longed for him to stay and fall back into Lola’s waiting arms.

He continued standing there for what felt like forever as his head and his heart continued their back-and-forth battle.

But in the end, only one of them could win.

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36 thoughts on “7.51: Head or Heart

  1. Saturday really needs to be tomorrow because after this, I need to know what would happen. I want him to go through with committing adultery because he obviously has feelings for Lola. But at the same time, I don’t want them to because despite the way that she has took the dominating role in the relationship and you could say that she’s just brought it upon herself and pushed Phoenix away, it’s still not fair on Gigi; also, there is the possible consequence that Lola may fall pregnant.

    However, if Gigi and Phoenix do break up, he shouldn’t go for Lola, because she doesn’t deserve to be the rebound, despite the fact that Phoenix may say that he “wants to be with her”.

    So each direction that Phoenix is facing is destined for disaster, and I feel really bad for him .

    Liked by 4 people

    1. You’re so right… Phoenix is caught between a rock and a hard place right now. No matter which house he makes, there’s pretty much no way it can end well 😦 We’ll find out soon what his choice was! Sorry tomorrow can’t be Saturday for you 😛

      Liked by 1 person

  2. SimTroverted hit on some pretty valid points about where Phoenix is now. He has crossed a line, and there is no going back even if he does stay. If he does, it’s probably the last nail in the coffin of what’s left of his marriage. Gigi’s pretty much admitted to Tam she already cheated even though he misunderstood. Yikes…masterfully crafted….he’s damned if he does and damned if he doesn’t. Either way, it’s going to be a rough ride from here on out.

    I also wanted to say I thought Lola looked so pretty in the picture where she asked Phoenix what this was that was between them.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Lola is such a gorgeous sim! Glad you liked that shot. BBQPenguinWings did a fabulous job with her 😍

      And yes, it’s true — if he stays… how the hell can their marriage even survive? Especially if she really is cheating too? :-/ But then, if he goes home to Gigi, he’s headed right back to being miserable… and possibly a marriage ending anyway 😦

      Liked by 2 people

  3. OMG!!! What are you doing to us?! Man oh man, I feel sorry for everyone involved right now. Why did you give in Phee? Please just go home and talk to Gigi. Just get everything out. I understand that marriage is not what he thought it would be and they’re going through a rough patch but you made a promise to Gigi when you married her. I’m not saying what he’s feeling isn’t real, but it’s not the right time for it. If he still feels the same way after he and Gigi did everything they could and broke the marriage off, then I could give my blessing for this new ship. I love Lola dearly but this isn’t right and I’m glad that they thought it was wrong (sorta). What you feel is never a good excuse to cheat, I always say break it off before jumping into something new. I really do feel bad for Lola though because I’m sure she didn’t mean to catch feelings for Phoenix, she was just trying to be a good friend (I’ve been in that position) but now it’s too late. They’ve crossed the line in the sand. I have no idea where this is gonna go from here but I wish it was Saturday already.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m sorry I’m so evil 😭

      I think you’re so right too — even if we like Lola and even think her and Phoenix would be good together, it shouldn’t happen like this :-/ Cheating is wrong. And it’s not fair to Gigi OR Lola for Phoenix to go through with this. Even if Gigi did already cheat, as many suspect. Two wrongs don’t make a right!

      Wherever things go from here, it’s likely to be very messy 😬 We will know soon whether Phoenix did the right thing or not!

      Like

  4. I was hoping this wouldn’t happen. I really want Phoenix & Lola to be together but not like this. As much as Phoenix deserves to be happy Lola deserves better than being the other woman. I think Phoenix should go home and tell Gigi what happened. I think that would either end the relationship or force Gigi out of her house of denial- maybe both. Whatever outcome I am excited to read!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad you’re looking forward to more, and I apologize for the cliffhanger/ambiguity at the end of this one 😛

      You’re right — Lola deserves better than this. And whether or not Gigi already cheated (still have not confirmed or denied that for certain hehe) two wrongs don’t make a right. This is the wrong thing no matter how you slice it :-/ Hopefully Phoenix will do the right thing and wait til after he’s broken up with Gigi (assuming it’s heading that way!) before doing more with Lola… but we’ll see!

      Thank you for reading!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. So…which will he choose? The warm soft lips who only has eyes and ears for him or the cold hearted woman (to him) who thinks he can’t do anything right? Hmm…well, I think I know what he chooses. 😉

    And now, if he does give into temptation, he’s going to get sucked in and THIS is gonna get ugly. Fast.

    But what if he does choose to cheat? Gigi is obvs cheating too. How can they keep this shambles of a marriage together? Seems pretty doomed to me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey, he might surprise you? But… we shall see 😬 Either way there is no way this can end well… I fear you’re right — ugliness ahead! 😬 We will learn what he chose soon…

      Liked by 1 person

  6. So I’m gonna hope that Phoenix can be a better person than what his heart wants him to be… He needs to be better than GiGi and better than Lola… But lets be realistic here, he’s already tasted the forbidden fruit, whats to stop him from eating the fruit whole… seeds and all. Speaking of seeds…. Citizen, you could be so cruel to us… Wouldn’t it be something if GiGi was pregnant and Phoenix had an affair with Lola and she got pregnant… and then we would have 2 babies… Oooo, the plot thickens.. I can’t wait for Saturday. This is truly going to make my day at work soooo much better

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hopefully you’re right he can be better than this… but it won’t be easy to resist that temptation 😦 We’ll find out soon if he did!

      Your pregnancy idea is quite evil but also possible, if Phee does give in! Oh dear… let’s hope not! I’m glad you’re looking forward to Saturday. Thank you so much for reading!

      Like

  7. Oh my. Yikes. Wow.
    Okay so Phoenix is definitely not happy in his marriage and it’s not going to work out. That’s almost set in stone at this point. But wow. WOW.
    I feel like his heart is going to be the winner here. And I feel that the aftermath will be messy.
    Or maybe Phoenix will stay loyal to Gigi and will leave. But then would he tell her about what happened or will he keep it to himself.
    Great chapter.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Oh my. Yikes. Wow.
    Okay so Phoenix is definitely not happy in his marriage and it’s not going to work out. That’s almost set in stone at this point. But wow. WOW.
    I feel like his heart is going to be the winner here. And I feel that the aftermath will be messy.
    Or maybe Phoenix will stay loyal to Gigi and will leave. But then would he tell her about what happened or will he keep it to himself.
    Either way this is going to be bad.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Accidental double comment but I liked both of them! 😉 I’m glad you liked this one but I’m sorry for all the stress and drama too haha. You’re probably right about the marriage being doomed regardless… but if Phee does go through with this, “Yikes” is right 😬

      We will find out soon what Phoenix decided, and where things will go from here…

      Like

  9. Gigi is already having an affair. It would make things interesting if she gets pregnant not knowing whose the daddy. She would probably try to pass the baby of as Phoenix child especially if Phoenix splits up with her to be with Lola. She will blame Phoenix for everything and not take blame for any of it.
    They both to blame for what is going on in the marriage. It is not right to for them to sleep with someone else and hurt them.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Interesting thought there — and definitely possible (awful as it would be if it happens!) They’re both definitely to blame here though… and will both have to face the consequences of their choices 😬

      Like

  10. *eats popcorn* Hm break the trust of an proud person *ruffling the bag* yep that usually always works fine. Phee is a stand up guy but, Rosebooks always take that little misstep… Always works out tho in the end.

    Love cliffhanger exceptional view!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha glad you’re enjoying the entertainment. Would you like some butter for that popcorn? 😉

      And you’re right — Rosebrooks usually do make a mistake or two (or three…). So Phoenix is probably overdue 😂

      Like

  11. It is not surprising he has come to this time … the problem is one of priorities. His friends have always come before his wife. Whatever you put first becomes utmost .. where has his wife been all these days and nights he has hung with his friends.

    One cannot plant dandelions and get daisies .. you get what you plant. Dandelions might look cute now .. even feel good cause they grow so easily … but they take over and then they will kill off everything in your garden. Time to pull up those weeds and get back to the planting .. it is difficult but worth it.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. That’s a great point about Phoenix’s priorities… and it’s only been getting worse lately (obviously never quite as bad as today though! 😬)

      I love your gardening metaphor! Hopefully Phee has a green thumb?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I love gardening .. we can learn a lot of life lessons there .. he has green enough thumb all he has to decide is if he wants to grow dandilions or do the hard work for the sweet cutting garden ❤ Cause the truth is even if he goes for Lola (which I so hope not) if he puts her second he is right back in the weeds … we are doomed to our RUTS until we rise up out of them.

        Liked by 1 person

  12. I am disappointed in Phoenix and shocked by Lola. She actually wanted Phoenix to stay. I wish this didn’t happen because I know Phoenix will go and confessed to Gigi, letting her off the hook for whatever her misdeeds were. I can’t see her confessing after he does. I think Phoenix and Lola have the real thing so it wouldn’t be a rebound. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that if they didn’t get married Phoenix wouldn’t have been avoiding home so he wouldn’t have met Lola and he could have went home to GiGi after his studies were over.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, Phoenix and Lola both aren’t acting great in this one 😦 They’re both letting their hearts (and maybe sex organs? LOLOL) control their behavior right now. But it’s all one giant mess (that could potentially get messier if Phoenix doesn’t do the right thing!)

      I also think that you’re right that things could have been so much better if they’d never gotten married. Phoenix and Gigi always had some issues under the surface (especially with him being a pushover and her being controlling!) BUT the move to the US really just brought the worst out of the situation and made them both so miserable. There could have been more of a chance for the two of them to be happy if they’d actually spent some time apart. But alas… 😦

      Thank you for reading! ❤

      Like

    1. LOL Yeah I think a lot of people are feeling pretty torn… The SS PheeLa (ship name people have been using :P) is pretty popular, but I think most people didn’t want it to sail quite like this! 😦

      As for babies… Soon? The gen is finally drawing to a close 😮 But no word yet on who the baby mama will be 😉

      Thank you so much for reading! 😀

      Like

  13. I really didn’t think Lol-a would be okay with this. But, now seeing that she *did* have feelings for Phoenix, I can kinda understand…still, sleeping with a married guy, not cool, Lol-a.

    If Phoenix is *that* desperate for…you-know-what, why didn’t he just use the internet while Gig was gone? There *are* sites for this, you know…( Thought his cheating would be more like and emotional one. much like Tobi’s.)

    Ughhhhh! Make the right choice, Phoenix! I can just imagine this two talking about their cheating, like, Gigi saying ” I cheated on you!” and phoenix says ”Well,We’re even! I cheated on you too!”

    Side note: I was readying this on a public space, so when I saw NSFW alert I stared scrolling down
    v e r y s l o w l y .

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha! I’m glad I put the warning on it then 😂

      Lola is definitely driven by her feelings right now… and Phoenix too. Even though they both know how wrong it would be! 😦 And you’re right in comparing this to Tobi. This is totally emotional, not just about sex.

      Maybe Phee won’t give in? 😬

      Liked by 1 person

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