7.4: Interlude – Boring

Hallie had messaged him just after third period with her mysterious invitation to the park after school. Phoenix had texted his mother almost immediately to let her know he’d be walking home that afternoon.

There was supposed to be a basketball game on TV that Phoenix had really been looking forward to… But for Hallie, it could wait. Hell, anything could wait. Especially if she wanted to pick up where they left off behind the bowling alley the other night…

Phoenix did his best to silence a tiny voice of doubt and uncertainty in the back of his mind. He’d been trying so hard not to think about any of that crap that was getting him down the other day. Nobody’s relationship was perfect, right? He was making way too big a deal out of things. They’d only been together for like a month and a half anyway. They were still getting used to each other. Everything was gonna be fine.

“Hey, Phoenix.” Hallie’s voice broke through the jumbled thoughts that clouded his mind.

His smile widened as he turned around to face her. “Hey.” Phoenix closed the distance between them quickly, leaning forward to give her a kiss.

To his surprise, she turned her face away from him. His lips made clumsy contact with her cheek instead.

“Oh.” Phoenix muttered uncertainly as he pulled away. “Um…”

Hallie bit her lip. “Let’s sit down.”

Fuck. He felt like he was going to be sick as he took a seat beside her on the bench. This can’t be good.

“Look, Phoenix… I’m just gonna cut to the chase. I’m not really sure how else to say this, but…” She paused for a moment to take a slow, deep breath. “This isn’t working anymore. I’m sorry.”

It felt like someone had punched him in his already-twisting stomach. Phoenix was almost surprised he didn’t puke right then and there. “What?!” It was all he could manage to say.

“I just can’t keep doing this. It’s not working out.”

For a moment, Phoenix wasn’t quite sure which emotion would win out. A small part of him almost felt… relief. But the feeling was fleeting.

She was rejecting him! Saying they should just end things without even trying to fix it! He felt so sad and hurt… But so angry too.

“Where the hell is this coming from?” He snapped at last. “What about the other night?”

“It was fun, okay?” Hallie replied with a shrug. “And I guess I was kinda hoping it would help make things better… But I’m just not feeling it anymore. No ‘spark’, or whatever they call it.”

“Pfft!” Phoenix couldn’t help but scoff at the lame cliche. “‘Not working out’, ‘No spark’… What’s next? The ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ speech?”

She shook her head, biting her lip once more. “No… ‘Cause, uh… to be totally honest… I think most of it IS you.”

“What the hell?! Are you serious?!”

“Well… yeah.” Hallie looked almost guilty. “This is gonna sound so bitchy, but I feel like somebody’s gotta say it…”

Another wave of nausea overcame him. “Oh God. What now?!”

“It’s just… You’re kinda… boring, Phoenix.”

He said nothing. His mind was still trying to wrap itself around what she’d just said. Boring?!

“Like, I mean you’re nice and you’re cute. And you’re actually a decent kisser and stuff? But…” Hallie shrugged.

“But I’m boring.” Phoenix finished for her, his voice soft. The anger he’d felt before seemed to have melted instantly at her words. Instead he just felt… defeated. Empty.

Hallie’s face fell. “I’m sorry… Maybe that was a little too harsh. I’m mean, you’re a sweet guy, Phoenix. You really are.” She paused. “But let’s be real — We’re just too different.” For a moment, she seemed to have a hard time meeting his gaze. “I think… I think I maybe need a boyfriend who’s a little more exciting. Or who likes to have a little more fun, I guess?”

“Yeah. I get it.” Phoenix rose to his feet slowly. “But for the record, it’s also pretty fucking boring watching you sit around staring at your phone all the time too. Or sitting through your stupid Netflix shows. Which suck, by the way.” He snapped.

“Phoenix…”

“Bye, Hallie.”

————————————-

Boring…

The word seemed to echo in Phoenix’s mind the entire way home.

It shouldn’t have come as a surprise that she felt that way, should it? He’d already figured it out himself the other night.

And shouldn’t he be relieved that it was all over now? That they didn’t have to keep pretending anymore?

Maybe. But it still hurt. So freaking much.

Hallie was never one to mince her words. She was always honest… Maybe even too honest. But did she really have to say that? Did she have to call him boring?

And what if it was true, he wondered?

Was that why Skylar had dumped him too? She was the closest thing to a girlfriend Phoenix had ever had, before Hallie. They made it through three dates before she let him down.

“Couples are supposed to like, have fun together, y’know?” He tried his best to remember exactly what she’d said. “But I think we maybe have like, different ideas of what ‘fun’ is…? Sorry, Phoenix.”

His eyes widened. Oh my God. She’d basically said the same thing, hadn’t she? It was true.

I’m boring. Phoenix realized. I’m lame and I’m boring and no one’s ever gonna wanna date me again.

He felt like he was in a daze as he finally made his way up the front walkway. He almost didn’t notice his little sister’s giggles coming from the backyard, at first. But before he made it to the front door, her sweet little voice finally reached his ears.

Phoenix glanced up, his eyes falling on Lila as she climbed around the jungle gym in the backyard. The sight actually brought a smile to his face. Sure, she annoyed the shit out of him most of the time. But she was so damn cute too… Not that he’d ever tell her that, of course.

Even though he knew how much his Mama and Dev hated it, Phoenix cut through the flowers and the hedge to join Lila in the backyard. She’d be a welcome distraction… He just didn’t feel ready to face his parents or grandparents quite yet.

“Hey, twerp.” He called up to her as he approached. “What are you up to?”

The little girl giggled. “I’m exploring the seven seas!” She proclaimed dramatically. “Oh, and I’m a princess too. Duh.”

Phoenix chuckled heartily. “Well obviously.” Lila didn’t even have to be playing a game for that to be true. “Looks pretty fun… Think the pirate princess could use a first mate? Or an evil villain to walk the plank?”

“Hmm…” Lila was thoughtful for a few moments. “What about a big mean sea monster to attack the ship?”

Phoenix’s reply was a deafening roar.

The sun was just starting to set when Harper finally headed out in the backyard to fetch her children. “Alright, guys… Your Opa says it’s time for dinner!”

Phoenix looked over at his mother, surprised. It wasn’t until that moment that he realized he’d been expecting a text asking where he was. But he’d never gotten one. “You knew I was home?” He replied.

Harper laughed brightly. “Honey, I’m pretty sure half the neighborhood could hear that sea monster attack.” She teased. “Sorry to break up the party, but it’s time to abandon ship, guys.”

“Do we have to? What about just five more minutes, Mama?” Lila begged.

Her mother shook her head. “You know how Papa is… he’ll eat all of it himself if we don’t get in there soon!” With one last smile, Harper finally turned and began heading back inside.

“Alright twerp, you heard the boss… Let’s go.” Phoenix reached up to help his little sister off the jungle gym. “We can play again some other time.”

To his surprise, as he bent to lower her back onto the ground, Lila pulled him into a tight squeeze. For someone to tiny, she nearly knocked him off his feet. “You were the best sea monster ever, Phoenix!” She proclaimed. “That was so fun!”

“You sure about that?” He asked softly, finally pulling away from her. “You don’t think I’m boring?”

Lila shook her head. “No way! You’re like… the funnest person I know.”

Phoenix reached down and ruffled her mop of bright red hair. “Thanks, twerp.” He smiled softly. “Glad someone thinks so.”