6.32: Maybe

Okay, I seriously don’t even know what the hell to think anymore. Everything makes no fucking sense lately!

I know I should be happy about all this… But instead, I’m just frustrated. Or confused? I don’t really know how to feel about it…

Alright, I’m totally rambling. Let me back up.

So, Saturday was insane. Like, I’m still kinda processing everything that happened… The good, the bad, the ugly… and the confusing-as-fuck.

I spent most of it with Erik, of course. Just like always. But… this Saturday was definitely a little more eventful than usual.

Let’s just say I learned a lot about him this weekend.

Like… that he’s maybe involved in some not-so-great things. Drugs, I mean. And I’m not talking stuff like weed or X…

And even worse, he maybe does business with some not-so great people too…

That part was so scary. I seriously thought that dealer guy was gonna kill us or something. I guess Erik owes him a lot of money. And I don’t even wanna write the name of what it is he owes him money for.

I told Erik the other day I was okay with it. And I’m trying to be. I mean, he said he isn’t gonna let it get out of control. And that he’d try cutting back.

And like, I do some shit that isn’t exactly legal either. So how can I judge him for this?

I think I’m still in shock… I mean, I know Erik likes getting high and stuff. But smoking some weed with friends or taking some X at a party is different than this. It’s hard not to be a little weirded out by this whole thing…

But you know what? That bad stuff wasn’t the only thing I learned about Erik that day.

I learned that he isn’t gonna judge me for who I am. That he’ll accept me no matter what.

I learned that he loves me. And that I love him too.

And at the end of the day, isn’t that all that matters? Isn’t that enough?

Anyway, when I left Erik’s apartment Saturday, I was already feeling pretty overwhelmed by everything. All the scary drug stuff. The beautiful romantic stuff. And the amazing sex stuff too.

We didn’t go all the way, but I’d say we’ve gone as close as you possibly can to the real thing. And it was incredible. That was one more thing I learned about Erik, I guess — that his tongue is good for a lot more than just kissing…

Overall, I was pretty much on cloud nine when I got back home, even with all the bad stuff that happened. I don’t care how cheesy this sounds, but the high of just being with Erik is better than anything any drug could ever do. And him telling me he loves me… I almost couldn’t believe it. I kept replaying it again and again in my mind. I just couldn’t stop thinking about him.

And maybe if I wasn’t so distracted, I would have noticed there was something weird going on with my parents. But instead, I didn’t have a clue.

They let me get all the way through dinner before they told me the truth. They figured out about me and Erik. And the second they told me, I totally braced myself for a huge screaming match. I figured that’d be the end for me. They’d put literal bars on all the doors and windows and never let me leave the house again.

But instead, you know what they did?

They un-grounded me. They apologized to me for overreacting! They even invited Erik over for dinner later this week. At first I thought it was a joke or something, but they kept telling me they were serious.

They asked me a few questions too, about how I’m feeling about everything. “Talk to us,” they kept saying. What the hell was I supposed to say to that?! I tried to be honest, but… it was really weird. I kept asking them what the hell was going on, and their answer was always “we’re just trying to understand”. Um… what?!

Then they gave me a little speech about drugs and alcohol and being “responsible” with them… And being ‘safe’ with Erik so I don’t get pregnant or something (Oh my God!).

The only thing they really asked was that I tell them the truth about where I’m going, stick to a 9pm curfew on school nights, and talk to my doctor about starting birth control.

And that was it.

What.

The.

Fuck.

It’s like they can’t even make up their minds anymore! They’ve been so weird lately. Way worse than they’ve ever been, honestly.

I mean, they spent forever pressuring me about uni. Then as soon as I started showing ‘responsibility’, they decided to just let it go.

And for years they were these total pushovers whenever I got in trouble. Then after ONE stupid party, they put me under fucking house arrest.

And now, they’ve changed their minds on me all over again! Suddenly they’re totally fine with me and Erik being together?

All they’d tell me was that they “jumped to conclusions” and “overreacted” by grounding me for so long. They even apologized for not hearing me out sooner about the whole Erik thing. They were so… cool about it. Understanding. Where the hell did that come from?!

Okay, okay. I know how this sounds. Obviously I’m happy about all this too.

I mean, all I’ve wanted since I started dating Erik was to not have to keep him a secret. I’ve been wishing since the beginning that my parents could be on my side. And I guess I finally got what I wanted.

I’m happy… for now. But part of me is just waiting to see when they’re gonna turn on me again, y’know?

It’s like they can’t decide whether to treat me like a kid, or like an adult. Or whether to smother me or let me do what I want. Why can’t they just make up their minds?!

It’s driving me crazy. It makes me feel like I’ll never be able to trust them again… And I hate feeling that way.

I’ve tried talking to my friends about it, but I’m the only one who thinks it’s a big deal, I guess.

Erik keeps saying it means they’re finally starting to trust me. Devin says I should try giving them the benefit of the doubt. And Rylie just keeps going “shhh, don’t question it!” like it’s a big joke or something.

But honestly, I think she and Dev are just happy we’re allowed to hang out again. And so am I. I love Erik, but I’ve missed hanging out when it’s just the three of us too. And now, we finally can.

See? The more I write about it, the easier it is to be happy about it… And to forget how fucking weird my parents are being. But should I forget about it? Should I really give them the benefit of the doubt?

Ugh! I dunno. Maybe I’m just over-thinking everything.

Maybe my parents really do trust me now. Maybe they’re finally done treating me like a little kid.

Maybe everything’s gonna be okay with Erik and this whole drug thing. Maybe he’ll even start cutting back, like he said he would.

Maybe my life can finally start feeling normal. Maybe things are finally gonna start making sense again.

… Or maybe not.

44 thoughts on “6.32: Maybe

    1. Hahaha love blinds us sometimes 😉 Plus I think it’s just the flip-flopping in general that’s making her so untrusting. Erik hasn’t had the chance to do too much yet to abuse her trust… but you are 100% correct that trusting that a addict is really going to cut back is questionable 😂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. She needs to stop doing that! Harper no longer trusts her parents. Lol. I get what she means though. She feels they are scheming behind her back because this isn’t how they react to her and she doesn’t know if it’s real.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. “But part of me is just waiting to see when they’re gonna turn on me again, y’know?”

    That’ll probably happen when they find out about your sticky fingers, and start treating you like a petty thief.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I can understand Harper for not really trusting her parents – she can’t possibly predict what they would do if any other trouble came up, she can’t know what she can tell and be understood or for what she would be suspected again. But timing played a huge role here. Erik doing hard drugs must have been a huge shock on her, and she propably feels like everyone is carrying around some sort of hidden darkness that could snap at her. She is not feeling comfortable at all. She kind of needs an adult, someone more successful at adulting than Zayne, who feels really really reliable.
    I hoped this would go better, but her parents telling her sorry and please talk to us isn’t really resolving the situation. They need to deliver and show her they are on her side in more than words (end of grounding doesn’t count because it felt like injustice to Harper and end of injustice isn’t really showing trust that much).
    I really feel this will bite back at Harper. Now Erik has that special trouble, and she will get in trouble too if she continues stealing and begins lending huge amounts of money, it will be bad if she can’t even trust in going home to her parents like Zayne did when things turned out dangerous for him. But this isn’t anything either side can enforce.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is a great point about how the Erik situation probably affects how she’s seeing the situation with her parents too. It’s like everyone has a dark side that could come out at any moment!

      As for Hope and Zayne, I agree that they need to deliver more. But I also think this was at least a step in the right direction for them. The next step is putting their money where their mouths are and actually being a support system when she needs it…

      Like

  3. Y’know what we haven’t had yet? A cut short generation. I mean, Luzel died young, but he wasn’t the heir, was he? Every heir has died of old age.

    Overdose? Drug bust gone bad? Gang violence? I think the story might feel a bit empty, character-wise, but Our Dear Author has been trimming the family for a bit. Maybe Hozay will get a do-over on the whole parenting thing.

    Liked by 5 people

  4. Juicy stuff! They SHOULDN’T trust her, she’s made bad decisions! And the party WAS a big deal! I’m super laid back about stuff but the first party she goes to she does all the drugs, and lands herself an adult boyfriend who is doing coke. hhahah she shouldn’t be trusted, she actually does need to have her shit set straight! If you’re going to do stuff even I wouldn’t do, then it’s bad stuff! Also she’s rich as shit and stealing hahaha Harper’s a bad egg! And I lub it

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Haha Harper is definitely bad news. She’s also a terrible influence on everyone around her (even Erik, who already was a bad influence on HER in turn… but look at her enabling him and supporting his terrible habit! Haha)

      Liked by 1 person

  5. E. I feel that Harper will soon enough learn her lesson about what happens when you go sneaky and do drugs. But she’s enabling Erik and her parents are also enabling her. I didn’t see anything about her doing drugs. Then again not like she’s going to die because of a little freedom. Harper needs to have a baby first.
    Also I’ve been doing a reread. I noticed a few things.
    1. Your chapters have gotten longer.
    2. A lot of sims are dead.
    Also, what happened to some of your other sims? (Alex, Tony, River, Gus)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Haha you are right that Harper herself has not done any hard drugs (just weed and X)

      Thanks for the re-read! To answer your questions…
      1. Yes, much longer 🙂 A big part of that is because I now post less chapters per week. Because of that, I have decided to try to do longer chapters so people get a little more “bang for their buck” haha.
      2. They are offscreen living their lives! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  6. They don’t trust her more than before… it’s all an act. And with good reason. She’s not trustworthy of her parents because she lies and cheats, but they asked for it themselves by not parenting her her whole life and then suddenly turning around and grounding her. She’s confused and don’t know what to do. She doesn’t know what they will do next and that makes it hard for HER to trust THEM!

    Joce’s advice was good, but was it too late? Idk. There might still be time for them to heal and close that hurt wound, but that means she will have to let them try, even after she turns 18. These things can’t be fixed in just.. 2 months?

    And did i hear her saying that she’s doubting whether Eric will really try to cut back on his drug use? Doesn’t sound like she trusts him completely then. I know she trusts him with her secrets and intimacy, but there are a lot of different ways to trust someone.

    I just think that Zayne and Hope kinda shocked her by inviting him to dinner! First Zayne almost called the cops on him, and then out of nowhere, his next action is to invite him to his home for dinner? That’s kinda messed up. And confusing as HELL for Harper 😮 And probably Eric too!

    But you can’t blame them for trying, right? I mean who wouldn’t do what ever they could to not lose their daughter, because that’s pretty much where it was heading. So good for them to finally man up and see the bright light shining on them ❤ Good luck Hozay/Harick. You're gonna need it ❤ ❤ ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Sounds like you have a great grasp of both sides of this! Very insightful! There’s a definite lack of trust on both sides And both for good reason! This whole family is a mess right now… Hahaha

      Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. You know nothing, Harper Rosebrook.
    Erik said he *thinks* he loves you, which leads me to the conclusion he knows nothing as well.
    The parents went from one extreme to another and they apologized (!) They clearly know nothing, at least about parenting.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Was this a game of thrones reference? 😂

      All the characters but Rylie and Devin are essentially a mess right now, it’s true. And yes, Hope and Zayne definitely know nothing about parenting haha They have the best of intentions, but we all know what the road to Hell is paved with…

      Liked by 1 person

  8. It’s good to see Harper’s conflicted emotions about Erik’s drug habit. It shows she’s concerned, but also afraid to say anything for being hypocritical. What would be for the best is if they both were honest with each other. I believe that Erik isn’t very thrilled about her stealing habits either. They could be of great support to each other, if they really try, when they are ready to start fighting their addictions. They’re going to need the support of friends and family when/if Erik’s drug dealers end up becoming more dangerous, it’s not a healthy situation to be in at all 😦

    Completely understandable that Harper is feeling so conflicted and unsure right now. I’m glad that she can hang out with her friends again, and I’m very interested to see how the meeting goes with her parents and Erik, especially how Zayne interacts with him. Maybe Joce might need to be there just in case, especially when the truth is revealed about Erik and Harper’s little secrets 😉

    OMG! LOL! Poor Harper, she must be feeling like she has a bit of whiplash right now from her parents. That would confuse me too! One minute it’s okay, the next it isn’t? Make up ‘yo mind people! XD I don’t blame her on feeling like she can’t trust them right now, but that also goes both ways. They can’t fully trust her right now either. Hmm….I wonder if they may have any tricks up their sleeve? There I go! Being as suspicious as Harper! 😀

    I’m glad that their wasn’t a big screaming much…….for now 😉 Haha 😀

    I’m excited for the next installment! This is such an amazing story ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Whiplash is right! But yeah… lack of trust on both sides here (and for good reason!!!)

      I’m glad you still have some faith in Harper and Erik. Time will tell!!!!

      Thanks so much for reading ❤️❤️❤️❤️

      Like

    1. Harper definitely acknowledges that the drugs are a bad thing. It scares her a little bit. But at the same time, it’s not a deal breaker for her right now. He is kind and gentle and loving, and in her eyes, all the good things about him far outweigh the bad.

      Whether or not her opinion will change down the line remains to be seen…

      Liked by 1 person

  9. I’m finally caught up!!! 🤣
    Ok so they really messed with her mind by being so cool about Erik. I’m sure she thinks she’s being Punk’d or something. This is definitely going to be an interesting approach. She is really bothered by Erik’s drug use though and confused by her parents sudden calmness, this might be an unintentional use of reverse psychology where she leaves Erik alone on her own 🤔

    Like

  10. I can see her being split in Erick’s case…Kinda like:” Should I dive in, and maybe they change their mind and I get in trouble, or not, and maybe wait for a change change of mind that might never come…?” Also, Even thought I know Hope and Zayne Love Harper, I think she is looking for love in the wrong place. If she thinks only Erick loves her, who know what could she do only to stay with him? ( Or better yet, keep him with her…)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Definitely very torn! I love your idea about Harper feeling like Erik is the only one who loves her and how bad that could be… hopefully that won’t be the case! Thanks for reading ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  11. I’d be suspicious as hell too girl. Especially since you keep finding new ways to break both the letter and spirit of the laws your parents have set.

    You simply must know that they’re only okay with what they know so far. When they find out more, or when you come up with something newly bad to do, they’ll “turn on” you again.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. This isn’t healthy either lol
    One major major thing is stability and consistency in parenting. How do I know this I’m 19, but yes. She’s just so confused lol and it’s not good. I’m in for the ride. Let’s go.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. She’s so suspicious. When she lays out their behavior, it certainly warrants suspicion, but this thing she’s doing where she’s acting like she’s had no role in it. I mean, no one would call Harper daughter of the year for the shit she’s pulled, ijs…

    Liked by 1 person

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