5.65: Pushed

Written by CitizenErased14

I should have known.

Maybe I kinda did, actually… But it still felt so much worse than I was expecting.

Abigail came over to see me today. She brought me a t-shirt she got at the concert the other night, and showed me some of the pictures she took. I guess she ended up taking a friend with her instead. Which is good, I guess. It wouldn’t make sense to let the tickets go to waste, would it?

But I guess it almost felt like she was trying to make me feel guilty or something. Just the way she was talking and stuff. I dunno. Whether she was trying to or not, it ended up working — I DID feel guilty. But… maybe not really for the reason she thought I would.

I couldn’t lie to her. I had to tell her about Hope coming to see me on my birthday. I made sure she knew it was totally unexpected and that I hadn’t invited her or anything. I figured she’d have to understand right?

Yeah, wrong.

She totally flipped on me. She twisted everything around and made it my fault. It was so fucking stupid! I got this giant speech about how I put the restaurant and Hope before her “like I always do”. She said my phone dying was “just an excuse” not to call her so I could spend time with Hope behind her back… It was ridiculous!

The worst part is, she didn’t even yell. She did that pouty thing she always does and tried to make me feel like shit. And it almost worked.

Abigail left a couple hours ago. Still pissed at me, of course.

And no matter how mad I am, I just can’t help feeling like I totally fucked up or something… But she’s the one being ridiculous, isn’t she?

I mean honestly, the more I think about it, the more she reminds me of… well, me. The way I used to be back when Hope and I were together. And it’s not just this time… And not always about Hope either.

It’s they way she gets all mopey when I have to work a long shift, or annoyed if I bring up what happened at work that day. I know she hates working down at the bank. And I know she still hasn’t really figured out what she wants to do with her life yet. I think that’s a huge part of it. I think she’s comparing herself to me or something.

Dr. Hall keeps telling me these are the types of conversations I need to have with Abigail. But he makes it sound so damn easy!

I’ve been trying to explain to him that I try to bring it up, but any time I even tiptoe around the subject, she gets all defensive. She won’t listen to me and I just… give up. I know it’s not worth it to try… because when I was in her shoes, it wasn’t worth trying with me either.

She’s just so jealous. So insecure about everything. And I think that’s what’s stopping me from totally losing it when we fight about shit like this. I really get it. I’ve totally been there. But it’s still frustrating as hell.

I keep thinking back to what Hope told me the other night about perspective… And everything that happened between the two of us back then. I kept pushing Hope away and making her miserable. And the longer we’re together, the more it’s starting to feel that way with Abigail too. Except this time, I’m the one getting pushed.

For me and Hope, it was too late to save things. But what about me and Abs? Can we fix this? Or is it too late for us too?

Abigail’s an amazing girl. I care about her so much. I really, really do. But it feels like ever since the restaurant opened, we’ve been growing apart. But I just don’t know what more she expects me to do. I mean, I barely even talk about work with her anymore. And when she gave me that big ultimatum about Hope,  I picked her!

What more does she want from me?

I just… I dunno. I guess… I guess part of me does know what she wants.

She wants me to be able to give her 100%, doesn’t she? She wants to be #1 in my life. She wants what anyone in her shoes would want.

And I think…

Maybe it’s something that I can’t really give her.

67 thoughts on “5.65: Pushed”

  1. Good luck, Zayne, you will need it…I don’t think Zayne shoudl continue on this for much loner,as yes, he was almost like abigail in their relationship with hope, but they broke up..It’s a cold thought the one I’m sharing, but, work is, some times, more stable than relationships, being that, even if he did give her more attention, they could just…broke up.

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    1. True, Zayne could use a little luck right now 😂 Saturday we will find out what exactly he’s gonna use that luck for 😉

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  2. Ok, I think Zayne knows what he has to do. It’ll be hard. But if you feel this way I think it will always follow you even if you “fix it” (which I believe you actually can’t)

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    1. We will find out soon what Zayne is going to do from here! I definitely agree that feelings like the ones he’s having would be very hard to completely erase. But we will see!

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  3. Come on Zayne. You need to do what Hope did. Dump her ass!!! That sounded terrible. But really, he’s already decided he can’t give her what she wants so he needs to cut her loose. I hope he does. Then that will leave the door open for him and Hope to rekindle their relationship to be more. And if they ever did get back together after all they have been through, they would be a very strong and happy couple. Zayne is not happy except when he’s around Hope. She gets him, she gets his restaurant and how much he has grown…what’s not to make a perfect union..

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    1. Hahahahaha maybe a little harsh 😛 We will see whether or not Zayne thinks things can be fixed with Abigail. I would definitely agree with you though that Hope seems to “get” him a lot more than Abigail does right now. We’ll see!

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    2. Also, the both get what it’s like when someone gets jealous and know when it’s time to talk about it. Plus, they both have feelings for each other. They were both angry at Abbie when she asked them to stay apart.

      P.S This chapter gave me deja vu. 😉

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  4. He should bring her in on one of his therapy sessions if he really wants to ‘fix it’. Or find someone who is good at couple therapy. He has to know that what he is doing now isnt going to fix anything. He should give her an ultimatum back – therapy or we break up. /shrug/

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    1. This is a really interesting idea — a counter-ultimatum. I do think that therapy is probably the only thing that could work for them at this point… but would Abigail actually be willing to do it? And would that be enough to solve the problems on both ends? Maybe we will see… stay tuned? 😛

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      1. If Abby isn’t willing to go to therapy – even if it means losing Zayne – then she doesn’t love him or even care about him deeply imo and they should break up. Honestly, unless Abby is just an innately selfish person (boarding on narcissistic) it really should help with their problems. Unless you are referring to the fact that Zayne still loves Hope, in which case, no it won’t 😛

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    2. I would love this. This would show the most maturity out of everything Zayne has done so far – you don’t give up on love when you’ve hit a rough patch, you get through it together.

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      1. This leads me to two important questions… 1. Is what he has with Abigail truly “love”? And 2, shouldn’t this same logic apply to Hope then? 😛

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        1. Hehe that’s your right as the writer 😉 I would say, 1. Maybe? I think “love” grows when you get through hard times with somebody, most of the time it’s not a movie-situation where you fall head over heels with someone at first sight. And (2) It should, but I feel like they’ve already tried (not therapy, though) and failed. I would like to see Zayne give a girl who isn’t Hope a fair chance (even though I don’t think he ever will :P)

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            1. Definitely not the only time it can grow! Calm, happy times are very important too 🙂

              I do think that eventually, you will come across a difficult time in your life (either romantically or in a different aspect of your life) and if a couple can get through that, it’s a sign that they’re willing to work together and put a lot of effort into the relationship!

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  5. I think he’s right. She DOES want him to give her 100%! But of course he can’t do that since he’s still in love with Hope. And he has the restaurant which takes up a lot of his time. He shouldn’t have to compromise his dream of his restaurant with Abigail. Hasn’t he explained it to her, what the restaurant means to him? If he has, she is being very unreasonable, and demanding. It’s supposed to be a relationship, but to me it sounds more like she is dictating what he can and cannot do. That’s not fair!
    If this is the way he feels now, considering the relationship is still very young, they shouldn’t waste more time on each other. Maybe it can be fixed and maybe not, but he is not happy with the way things are heading. And if i was him i would weigh the good against the bad and see what the outcome will be.

    Tbh I don’t see these two together for much longer. It doesn’t seem like an equal relationship to me. Good luck Zayne! ❤

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    1. Good points here! Zayne has told her that the restaurant is his dream and what it means to him… but she is still just so insecure and jealous about it 😦 We will see soon what Zayne’s next step is, and whether he thinks things are worth saving or not. 🙂

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  6. I’m sad to see that things are going rough between Abigail and Zayne. I still hope they work it out, but I kind of doubt it.

    I feel like Zayne keeps setting himself up for failure. He compares EVERYTHING to Hope or his relationship with Hope. When things are bad, he thinks about how great things were with her. When things are going well, he thinks about how this is almost just as good as being with her. I know he isn’t doing it consciously, but he’s really making it hard for any girl to live up to his ideal vision of the perfect ex-girlfriend. I’d get insecure and jealous, too.

    I can see that he’s trying, but I also think his heart isn’t in it 100%. And it’s probably best to be honest about that.

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    1. You bring up a great point about Zayne and how he compares everything to Hope. I think it’s so hard for him to let go and that’s definitely putting a strain on things (though Abigail’s jealousy and controlling behavior don’t help much either haha)

      We will see what he chooses to do from here 🙂

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  7. He should run not walk to the nearest exit on this relationship. I’m quite glad he can see all the things that are wrong and he knows that he can’t do what she wants him to. Trying to make him feel guilty about his birthday is wrong. Hopefully Zayne makes the right choice in the next episode.

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    1. Haha I love the “run not walk”. We will indeed find out in the next chapter what Zayne plans to do from here… thanks for reading!

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    1. Ooh I think this is your first comment. Hi!!! 🙂 Thank you so much for reading and sharing your thoughts ❤️

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  11. I think he should leave Abigail. She just doesn’t understand him, and I doubt she will ever get past her jealousy, whether he gives her 100% or not. She doesn’t understand how important Hope and work are to him, and they are some of the most important things to him. I am firmly back on SS Hozay, but feel like this will be a losing battle on my ship. Despite all that Hope and Zayne have been through together that would make them a loving, strong couple, Zayne isn’t exactly know for….ahem…making the best decisions. Even though he has matured quite a bit, I don’t believe he will make the best choice here.

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    1. Tbh i fear that he will indeed make the right choice, but before he can get to say the things he want to say, she will cut across and say she is pregnant 😮 That’s one prediction i have…

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    2. Hahaha no faith in our Zayne, huh? Well… we will see! You are correct that he doesn’t always make the best choices. Maybe this time he will surprise us? 😛

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  12. Dark WitcHazard: Hello everyone we’re back with the introduction to round 3 and we welcome back my lovely cohost Lover!

    Lover WitcHazard: Hello it’s nice to be back and I thank Justice for filling in while I was out! But let’s get right to it!

    Dark WitcHazard: Okay so the fact that Abigail went to the concert and didn’t even spend one minute with Zayne on his birthday is just a major blow to herself! She knew exactly where he was and she didn’t even drop in to give him a cute little cake pr anything her gesture was turned down and boom everything after that is his fault!

    Lover WitcHazard: I’d like to applaud Zayne for being honest about his meeting with Hope even though it wasn’t anything I feel there are some days that he should get a pass I mean he didn’t even get to spend his birthday the one he’s been dreading a good portion of his life with his family if you weren’t going to be with him you should be glad Hope did otherwise you would have came off way more bitchy than you already do!

    Dark WitcHazard: Once again Abigail is showing how bad she is at fighting cause her blows are only hurting herself! I believe this relationship is a good experience Zayne has gotten loads of perspective but is that enough to make it work as well as things with Hope?

    Lover WitcHazard: Yes I believe third time is going to be the charm for Zayne!

    Dark: So you think Zayne’s going to start another relationship and not just get back together with Hope?

    Lover: Yes I think he’s learned a lot from both Abigail and Hope, both experiences will make navigating a third relationship run smoothly! I’m not against Hozay I just think yes they both are realizing what was wrong with their relationship which is good and all but that was then! Knowing how to defuse yesterday’s problems isn’t going to solve tomorrow’s! I think Hozay had enough time to get where it was comfortable for both parties but it just didn’t work out but without all these jealous antics I believe Hozay is that relationship you wished worked out but will turn into a beautiful friendship because they both have become strong emotional pillars in each other’s support system so eliminating completely will be devastating!

    Dark WitcHazard: I get it! Zayne is more mature and at this point he’s not really changing so he can lay all his cards on the table! Being upfront about how his restaurant is his baby and until it gets to a point where it’s walking and talking on its own he’ll still see it as such! Also Hope if he feels the need to continue that relationship she is a friend yes she’s an ex yes she was the longest relationship he ever had but she’s his best friend and I think if you take the time to get to know her she could be come a close friend of yours as well! He’s not the sharpest tool in the shed but he knows they will have bumps in the road they’ll have to make compromises both parties may have to make sacrifices but only on equal terms!

    Lover WitcHazard: Exactly use the complaints and issues from the previous relationships to make blueprints for a better one! Who knows maybe Hope and Zayne’s grandchildren or great grandchildren will get married not the heir maybe a sibling!

    Dark WitcHazard: Well I guess we’ll have to wait and see how Zayne handles Abigail that will determine who wins round 3! But it sounds like you’re not interested in either ship!

    Lover WitcHazard: Kind of they’re both dead to me at this point I’ve totally switched to #TeamNooBoos!

    Dark WitcHazard: Well let’s wait and see! Sorry we got a bit chatty we’ll try to be more objective next time! Until then see you soon!

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    1. Hahahahahaha I think Nooboos would approve of the team Lover has put herself on! So she’s rooting for a third mystery lady we haven’t met yet? Hmm… we shall see! 😉

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  14. First off, I like that Zayne is so honest with Abby. He knew she could flip, but he didn’t even try to hide it. He didn’t do anything wrong, he spent some time with Hope, but even if they still have feelings for each other he can’t be expected just to shut her out of his life and push her away when she steps by to say happy birthday and don’t starve. Sure, I said it felt like a date. But that is something Zayne has to know and to deal with. He didn’t betray Abby, he didn’t take a chance on Hope, he wishes to make things right with Abby instead of wishing to get together with Hope.

    Abby wants him completely. He understands she feels insecure, is afraid of losing him or not being important enough for him. But what can he do to solve this? Maybe he will marry her. Maybe they will have a kid or several. Maybe that would “fix” things for her. But that’s not for granted. If she can’t trust him now, how is marrying making things better? Exchanging vows may be a big sign of trust, but Zayne has given Abby lots of those signs. Agreeing not to see Hope was a big sign of trust from Zayne, but asking for that was a big sign of mistrust from Abby. It’s not Zaynes trust that is lacking here. And if Abby can’t see that, nothing Zayne ever does will make things better. Married men can have affairs, men with children may still choose to leave their wife. If Abby isn’t capable of trusting Zayne, she will never feel safe even if he gives up everything for her.
    It’s a good thing Zayne understands her, but to work things out Abby has to put in some effort too. But it seems she refuses to even think about that, and doesn’t open up to Zayne. A therapist might help, but that’s something Zayne just can’t say to her. For a person so insecure as Abby it would lead to a big clash, as it sounds like he thinks she’s crazy and can’t handler her life. If Zayne can’t help, and she doesn’t get some insight from somewhere, things are not going to get better.

    And Zayne already seems to know. He knows he can’t really help Abby, things are not going to get better, he can’t give what she demands, and what she doesn’t demand but secretly wishes for. He got better, because he learned his lessons the hard way, because Hope broke up with him and he had to really think about everything that went wrong and where he went wrong. But he also had someone to help him through all this. Can he drop Abby without knowing she will be able to figure it out and there will be someone to help her?

    Things are getting out of control here. Abby trying to guilt-trip Zayne will backlash at some point. He learned to control himself, but when he snaps it will get ugly. And today he almost did. Because he has to feel guilty because he had a nice hour after 14 hours of work, while she enjoyed a full concert with a friend, and still he is the one that has to feel like shit and gets punished.

    By the way, is it possible Abby is partly so mad about Hope, because those two look pretty similar? She might not feel safe, because she feels like the the easy-to-get replacement for the “better” supermodel. She lives her boring life with a job she hates, and no noticeworthy hobbys, but Zayne as well as Hope fulfilled their dreams, did something with their lifes. She might feel Hope fits Zayne better than her. He thinks she is always comparing to him, but she might also compare herself to Hope. And she tries to make things more even by getting Zayne away from the restaurant. Telling him he can’t do this by himself. Implying he has just a job like everyone else, not a responsibility.

    Lots of speculation here. I look forward to the resolution of all this.

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    1. I always love your comments — they are so insightful! This is a really great analysis of where things currently stand with Zayne and Abigail. The question ow is what Zayne is going to do from here… Because it’s clear he has to do SOMETHING. Something has to change. But the question is what… We’ll actually see quite soon though 🙂 Thank you for reaidng, as always!

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      1. Well, I really feel with them. You did a great job developing them, and I always look forward to hear from them. I just held myself back for a long time because I didn’t know if I could put into words what I thought (mein Englisch ist nicht ganz ausgereift).

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        1. I think your English is wonderful 🙂 And so are your thoughts and insights!!!

          And you are German? Awesome. I actually don’t know any German except for family words because I use them so much! 😛 (my friend July does translating for me when I need it). I apologize for both past and present cultural inaccuracies, by the way 😛 Even though my story takes place in Germany, a lot of what I write is just based on what I know (and I am from the US, in case you had not figured that out haha)… We just need to pretend this is an alternate sims-version of Germany 😉 Hehe

          Thanks again!

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          1. Yes, I am German. Don’t worry, I don’t really remember any inaccuracies, and Sims is always its own little universe. But you can still feel free to send me chapter previews to check on those 😛
            Thanks for your kind support.

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  15. Finally caught up. I’ve missed reading and am happy I don’t have to avoid the updates anymore for fear of spoilers. Now Zayne understands how unreasonable he was being while with Hope and must realise that this relationship isn’t going to last long or get any better unless Abigail realises that her behavior is sabotaging what they have/could have. Love this story 😁

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    1. Thank you so much for reading! 🙂 I can’t believe how quickly you binge-read! And yes, Zayne has definitely learned some valuable lessons here… But we’ll see what happens with him and Abigail! (And Hope haha) Thanks again 😀

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  16. Zayne… either you discuss this with Abby or you break up with her and let her piece her own life back together.

    In the meantime, as I said last chapter, you can find someone better for you than either Hope or Abigail. You need someone more mature than either of them are acting. Abigail may be in her 30s, but she’s acting like she’s in her young 20s. Hope is your age, but she’s had some appalling behavior as well, including stalking.

    Maybe try online dating?

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    1. Abigail is actually a few years younger than Zayne, so she IS in her 20s 🙂 And (as I mentioned in my reply to you in the last chapter) Hope is no longer ‘stalking’ Zayne 🙂 She hadn’t seen him for weeks after that date with Parker. His birthday was a special exception 🙂

      We’ll find out this weekend what Zayne chooses to do regarding Abigail! This is definitely a mess all-around no matter how you slice it haha. And Zayne needs to do something about it… But what? We’ll see! 🙂 (And maybe online dating will be the answer after all? LOL! 😛 )

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      1. Even if she’s no longer stalking him, the fact that Hope ever did makes me think she’s not the most stable of people. She probably needs to go see a good therapist (preferably not Zayne’s). I mean, Hope has other things going on too. She’s having trouble with her job, and I feel like she’s having some difficulty with the transition past young adulthood. Stalking is a sign of deeper problems within the individual, and usually stems from an unhealthy obsession. It’s good she stopped, but the woman needs help! And I know the birthday visit was supposed to be a sweet little birthday surprise for Zayne, but the fact remains that she’d been stalking him. It might not be a good idea for her to be around him at all lest she rekindle that obsession she harbors–no matter how self-aware she is, again, stalking is a sign of deeper issues.

        As for Abigail, 20s kind of explains it. Sort of. But as people approach 30, well, unless she’s asexual (maybe even if she is?), you’d think she’d have dated a few people by now and would be used to dating and breaking up. She should have learned to deal with jealousy by now. I’m not sure how 20s she is (early? Mid? Late?), but I think she is in need of therapy as much as Zayne was and as much as Hope is now.

        Therapy! Therapy for all! Everyone should just date therapists!

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  17. I love the parallel with Zayne thinking things through around Abigail and back when Hope was thinking things through with Zayne.

    She took a job knowing it would make him jealous, he told Abigail about spending time with Hope, bound to make her beyond insane given that she can sense the tension between them.

    In Hope’s case by the end she’d realized they needed to be apart, this chapter had a similar feeling that at the end, he knew what he was going to do.

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    1. I love that you can see the parallels! There’s definitely been something of a role-reversal with these two. We’ll find out this weekend what Zayne decides to do about this crazy mess. Thanks for reading, Rae 🙂

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  18. More than any of the Hope stuff, Abigail’s refusal to listen to Zayne talk about his job or even tell stories about his day is so upsetting to me. That’s not a good relationship. Zayne def still has feelings for Hope tho and their little jealousy games with each other are going to have to come to a head soon.

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    1. In the next couple of chapters we are finally gonna get some resolution to all of this, one way or another! Thank you for reading! ^_^

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  19. I’m still rooting for him and Hope or at least him and someone other than Abigail. He already sees how much she’s like his old self, if not worse so he needs to take into consideration how long it took him to change. Who knows how long that process will be with her IF and when she wants to…..then on top of everything he is still is holding on to Hope.

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    1. This is very true — he has seen first hand how difficult it is and how long it takes to change. I guess the question now is whether Abigail would be willing to make that change, and whether Zayne would be willing to wait for her… we will see! Thank you so much for reading! ^_^

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  20. Yay! My first post here!

    I finally got all caught up on reading (it only took a few weeks, but then again, as fast a reader as I am, A Dance With Dragons took me a freaking month).

    You’ve got such well rounded characters. There are some who I really empathize with, others I’d like to smack upside the head, and others I just have to root for no matter what.

    Looking forward to more!

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  22. So does Abigail want him to be unhappy in his job? Or quit his job and just be an heir, living off the money his parents left him, waiting for her to come home after a hard day at the bank, with no other friends or interests? Sheesh.

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    1. Haha this is a great question. One without an answer, really. Abigail is so much like Zayne used to be.

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  23. Just pick Hope already pleeeeeaase I can’t take the pining XD
    Abigail is not worth your time at all. Like Zayne and Hope in the beginning okay. Zayne was supporting of Hope, liked hearing about her job, but just struggled with insecurity. He felt like she better, and he was failing, and blah blah blah
    Abigail doesn’t give a shit about the restaurant. Doesn’t want to hear it, wants to talk about other stuff, and controls who Zayne can hang out with. Zayne never did that to Hope. Blah 😛

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    1. Hahaha I agree with a lot of this. Abigail has may of Zayne’a same faults, but taken to an extreme in some ways!

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