5.59: Compromise

I should have known this would happen.

I stopped by Greg’s office this morning to try and figure out more about these ‘menu changes’ he’d been talking about. I couldn’t just let it go without asking for more information. Like I said the other day, I’ve gotta start sticking up for myself, don’t I? I’ve gotta do something.

But he just doesn’t listen!

He just kept smiling and nodding no matter what I said — I don’t even know if he was really listening, to be honest. I think I was barely there for three minutes before he had to kick me out anyway. Guess dropping in unannounced wasn’t a good idea… He’s always got all these stupid business meetings filling up his whole day. How could I have thought he’d actually make time to talk to me?

Before I left, he told me he “understands where I’m coming from”, but that I shouldn’t worry about it. Then he promised we’d schedule a time next week to “go over things”, and that was it. That was the best I got out of him.

But it wasn’t good enough. And I should have fought harder to get him to listen! I was kicking myself the whole way home. I totally dropped the ball on this one. I let him have the last word… again!

Greg knows that this menu is my baby. I’ve had to sacrifice a hell of a lot of my original vision for this restaurant. The name. The decorations. The location. The layout. Even the dress code for our servers! Back when we first started working together, he seemed a lot more on-board with most of my ideas, but the closer we got to opening, the more he started trying to convince me I needed to do things differently. And like an idiot, I let him.

“Trust me,” he always used to say. “I know what I’m doing, kid.” (Have I mentioned how much I hate it when he calls me that?)

It was easy to go along with at first. I mean, part of what he says is true — he does know what he’s doing. He has a hell of a lot of experience with this sort of thing. He knows what customers want. But what ever happened to compromising? And not the BS Greg-version of ‘compromise’, where he talks me into going along with what he says. REAL compromise.

God, I’ve been holding a lot of this back for months now. I guess I never wanted to admit how much it bugged me. I just kept telling myself that it didn’t really mater, as long as the menu and the kitchen still followed my original vision — what I wanted them to be like, not him.

But now he’s talking about changing that too. The ONE thing about this goddamn restaurant that still feels like it’s mine!

This is just so fucking frustrating. I promised myself I’d do something about all this… But I guess I didn’t try hard enough.

But there’s one part of my promise I intend to do a better job of keeping — and that’s to stop wallowing about shit like this.

I just need to figure out what to do next time, and try again.

Last night, I actually ended up finally opening up to Hope about all this shit with Greg. I’d promised myself I wouldn’t, but I just really needed an extra push to get me hyped up for this morning (even though it backfired horribly). And somehow, she was the first person I thought to turn to.

It’s been a lot easier talking to her now that she’s back in San Myshuno. We’ve kinda gone back to how things used to be before she visited… Which I’m really grateful for. I was nervous things might be different after we saw each other again. But they aren’t. Not on the surface, anyway.

She was really encouraging once I filled her in on everything that’s been going on… She’s been saying exactly what Tante Joce said, just like I knew she would. That I need to stand up for myself. “This is your dream, Zayne,” she said. “You can’t let him shit all over it.”

And even though I already knew that, I think part of me just needed to hear it. From her. I don’t even know if I can completely explain why it had to be her… But it did. It really did.

And I can’t decide if that’s a good thing or a bad thing…

I guess it all depends on the answer to Dr. Hall’s question, doesn’t it? I’ve still been thinking a lot about me and Hope and what I want the future to look like… And I still feel just as confused when I try to figure out the answer. Scared, even. The more I think about it, the more terrifying that question really is.

But I should really try not to think about it too much. Not for now, at least. Right now, I need to focus on figuring out what’s best for me and the restaurant… And how I’m gonna explain that to Greg.

I guess I’m mostly worried about what I’ll do if he’s not willing to listen.

Should I give him some kind of ultimatum? Threaten to quit? Try to buy him out? Give up and let him win?

What am I gonna do?

Honestly, I think that question might be just as terrifying.