Interlude: Eulogy

Mari’s eyes slowly fluttered open.

She expected to see the soft cream paint of her bedroom ceiling above her head, and feel the soft warmth of her bed beneath her…

Instead, she saw darkness. Blackness. Emptiness. And she felt, well… nothing.

What the hell?! Am I dreaming?!

“Hello?!” She called out.

Again, nothing. There wasn’t even an echo. It was like the endless void had sucked up her voice the moment it left her mouth.

Mari felt a chill run down her spine – the first sensation she’d been able to feel at all since the moment she’d opened her eyes. She couldn’t even feel any air on her skin – she couldn’t tell if the room she was in was hot or cold, dry or humid… She couldn’t even feel the ground beneath her feet…

At last, she looked down.

Holy SHIT! What the fuck…

A wave of panic suddenly crashed over her. This had to be a dream, didn’t it?! But what if it wasn’t? What if…

This is really it, isn’t it? The realization hit her so suddenly. It’s over.

And worst of all, it was exactly as she’d feared. There was no light. No happiness. Her parents, her sisters, Lucas, Jonas… Nowhere to be found. And why should they be?

She didn’t deserve to see them again. She didn’t deserve an eternity of happiness. Not after everything she’d done. A whole lifetime trying to atone for her sins would never be enough. She’d always known that, deep down. But that didn’t make things any easier.

Mari held her face in her transparent hands, heavy sobs wracking her entire body, yet making no sound. She wasn’t sure how long she cried, just that when it was all over, she felt no better. She was lost, scared, alone.

It almost felt like she was a little girl again…

No sooner had the thought crossed her mind than a pair of indistinct figures appeared up ahead. Mari’s eyes widened at the sight. She hadn’t expected to find others down here. “Hello?” She called out, drawing closer and closer to the figures until they finally came into full view.

What is this?! Mari wondered. A vision? A hallucination? A memory?

“It’s not FAIR! Lina did it too! How come I’m in trouble?!” The little girl’s cries sounded so far away, yet Mari could make out every word clear as day. “You’re so MEAN! You’re the worst daddy EVER!”

As quickly as it had come, the vision vanished and Mari was alone in the darkness once more.

God, what a little bitch. She shook her head sadly. No wonder she was always getting in trouble as a child… I was such an ungrateful brat. How could my parents ever stand putting up with me?!

Mari could hear more voices up ahead – familiar ones. And, despite her feeling of dread, she could not resist continuing forward until yet another scene materialized right before her eyes.

“I love you, Mari… And I’ll wait for you as long as it takes, okay?”

“Really? Are you sure?”

“Of course… You’re worth it.”

She watched as the vision suddenly melted away, just as the other had.

Lies. So many lies. She wasn’t worth waiting for. She wasn’t worth anything.

The sound of Diego’s voice was replaced by crying this time. Mari instantly recognized the tears as her own, yet she knew the sobs did not come from her lips…

She did not have to look long to find the source of the sound.

Don’t do it… Mari felt as though she were going to be sick as she followed the vision deeper into the darkness.

And what she found was exactly what she had feared.

“You stupid slut! STOP!” Mari cried helplessly. “What are you DOING?!”

But it was no use.

Mari covered her face, willing the terrible vision away. And just like the others, it quickly faded… Only to be replaced by something else.

This time, it was a chorus of tears that reached her ears. She didn’t even have to open her eyes to recognize whose.

Her parents’. Her sisters’. Humberto’s. All the people whose lives she’d ruined back then.

“I’m sorry!” She called out, her voice hoarse. Mari didn’t even have the courage to look at them. “I never meant to hurt you!”

In an instant, she was alone in the silence once more.

But not for long.

Their tears were worst of all. Her precious babies, crying out because their whore mother had left yet again to get drunk and fuck a stranger. Too broken and cowardly to ask for help.

“I’m sorry.” This time, the words were a whisper. “I’m so sorry.”

It was all such a blur then.

She saw Jonas, recoiling as she argued with him for what had to be the thousandth time. He was too good for me. I never deserved him…

She saw Tobi weeping as she yelled at him for getting Colette pregnant. God, I was such a fucking hypocrite…

She saw herself screaming at Josh, simply for wanting to know his own children. I should have given him a chance sooner…

She saw Stefan screaming at her for not supporting his move to Willow Creek. No wonder he left me…

She saw Clara pushing her and Jonas away when they tried to help her. I was such a terrible example. I’m a horrible mother…

She saw Jocelyne leaving the family while she did nothing to stop her. I should have done more… How could I let this happen?!

If there was anything after that, Mari did not see it.

She crumbled to the floor, her grief and shame finally overtaking her.

It was a long time before she’d calmed down enough to think straight again.

So this is Hell. Mari thought miserably. Reliving all of my mistakes. Remembering how many lives I ruined. Seeing the huge fucking mess I left behind me… This is what I deserve.

“No.” An unfamiliar voice whispered. “It’s not.

Mari leapt to her feet so much quicker and easier than she’d been able to in life. The voice had sounded as though it were whispering right in her ear. The shock had sent a jolt through her entire form…

But when she looked around, there was no one there.

“This is what you think you deserve.” It continued. You created all of this. Not me.”

“Who are you?!” Once again, Mari felt like a terrified little girl. “Who said that?!”

It ignored her questions. “It’s my turn now… Keep going.” The voice commanded. “There’s one last thing you must see.”

After a moment’s hesitation, Mari obeyed.

The scene she stepped into was completely unfamiliar to her. This one isn’t a memory… Mari realized. She drew closer, studying the tear-streaked faces and dark clothing of her loved ones.

“That service was lovely, wasn’t it?” Colette asked softly. “And that eulogy was so beautiful, Clara.”

“Thanks.” The woman sniffled softly, wiping away a few tears. “I just wish I’d told Mama half that shit when I had the chance… I don’t think I ever really thanked her, y’know? For everything she did for me…”

Beside her, her husband nodded slowly. “I know. I mean hell, my Mama had to drag me kicking and screaming to my first piano lesson… Mari’s the one who made me fall in love with it. She’s the reason I discovered music. Without her, I… I never would’ve…” Florian’s voice broke and he shook his head, unable to continue.

“She always believed in doing what makes you happy…” Stefan almost smiled. “I can still remember all those nights she stayed up helping me finish science fair projects or cram for a test, even when she had to work the next morning… All because she knew how much I loved it.” He sighed almost wistfully. “I know she had such a hard time when I left, but she never stopped believing in me.” He turned to his twin. “Remember all those football practices? Or how she’d never miss a game?”

Tobi nodded. “And she always gave the best advice too, no matter what was going on. Back when I was a kid dealing with stupid school drama, or when Lettie and I had the twins, or… Or when we lost Lucas and Hazel… And I was…” His voice trailed off suddenly for a moment. He cleared his throat softly. “She always knew exactly what to say.”

“And she was so welcoming.” Colette chimed in, her voice shaking slightly. “I know it was so hard for her when I came to live with you all those years ago… But she never showed it. She was always so good to me. No matter what. I was family from the second I walked through the door.

Mark nodded solemnly in agreement. “You’re right. Mari always made me feel welcome here. Even way back when things were… difficult.” For a moment, Tobi and Colette seemed to struggle to meet his gaze. “She was never anything but lovely.”

Jocelyne took one of Mark’s hands in hers for a moment, giving it a small squeeze. “No matter what happened, she was always on my side. Our side. I could always count on her for that.”

“We all could.” Auggy agreed. “I don’t think I ever told any of you this… But Oma was the first one I ever told about Noah. And she’s the one who made me feel brave enough to invite him to dinner for the first time…”

“What are we gonna do without her?” Zayne’s voice was very small. “She changed my life… She helped me get my shit together. I never could have done any of it without her.”

Clara managed to smile through her tears. “I guess we all have a lot to be grateful for…” Her voice faded away into a whisper.

And just like that, they were gone.

Mari held her face in her hands, weeping yet again.

But this time, it was not from sorrow.

It was so overwhelming to see them – her family. Her loved ones. Her babies. The people she loved most in the world. The ones she’d tried so hard to nurture and support. To encourage. To stop from making her same mistakes. To teach to be better than she ever was.

And hearing them say such lovely things about her, learning how much they felt she’d given them… Maybe I did something right after all. She realized.

That is your legacy, Mariana. That is what you leave behind.” The mysterious voice whispered once more, breaking through the deafening silence.

“You thought you’d found yourself in Hell, but can’t you see? You’ve already walked through your own personal Hell years ago. And look at all the good that came of it.” Mari could almost hear the unseen speaker’s smile. “I think that deserves more than an eternity of emptiness, don’t you?”

Somewhere off to her left, a bright light shined onto her face, breaking through the endless sea of black. It was both blinding and beautiful.

Mari drew closer to the dazzling wall of white as more familiar sounds and voices reached her ears – louder and clearer than any of the others. Sounds she hadn’t heard in years.

Her mother humming one of her favorite lullabies.

Her father flipping the pages as he read one of his bedtime stories.

Her sisters’ bright laughter. Lucas playing his guitar.

And a soft, soothing voice – the most beautiful voice in the entire world – calling out her name. “Mari.

A pleasant warmth washed over her as she stepped into the light at last.

—————————————-

There are no words. Truly none.

I love you, Mari ❤

Peaoorko made a beautiful tribute to Mari that I think captures her life and story perfectly. 

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106 Responses to Interlude: Eulogy

  1. Senna says:

    Bye, Mari.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Trip says:

    CRYING but it’s all worth it to finally play on that great piano in the sky.

    You did a lot for a mere heir. ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  3. So beautiful and touching, the 3D art makes it superb. Thanks for sharing Citizen, God bless you mate. 🙂

    Like

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Thank you 🙂 The pictures are actually made using The Sims 4 🙂 This is an on-going story following a family that I illustrate using the game. Thank you for checking it out!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Bugsie2016 says:

    Bye,Mari. We will all miss you. You were the rock for the family after Jonas passed and you never thought twice about telling people what you think of them. You helped so many of your family to get to where they are now. You were understanding but told them what they needed to hear at times. You may not always have been forgiving but you touched the lives of all those you met. It may not all have been in a positive way but that only makes you more memorable. You were only human. Now go forward and join those you have been apart from for a long time.

    Liked by 4 people

  5. That was really emotional, you put so much work into this.

    I’ll miss Mari, but I’m glad she’s reunited with Jonas.

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Thank you 🙂 Mari is so special to me, and I really wanted to do her ‘send-off’ justice. I’ll miss Mari too, but you’re right — she’s reunited with Jonas and the rest of her loved ones now 🙂 ❤

      Like

  6. kaffepigen says:

    Such a bittersweet ending. I’m gonna miss her.

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Thanks, kaffe ❤ I'll miss her too 😦

      Liked by 1 person

      • kaffepigen says:

        What does Eulogy Mean? And does this Mean we won’t see the actual funeral in another chapter?

        Like

        • CitizenErased14 says:

          “Eulogy” is a speech saying nice things about someone who has died (the one that someone usually gives at a funeral). I named the chapter that because the word gets mentioned (When Colette compliments Clara on the eulogy she gave for Mari), and also because the chapter itself is something of a “eulogy” for Mari 🙂

          And no, we will not be seeing her funeral in another chapter. Sorry! 😦

          Liked by 1 person

          • kaffepigen says:

            Ah okay, that makes sense. Thanks for explaining it to me 🙂
            That’s okay, you don’t have to be sorry. I just really wanted to see the whole funeral.

            It was really a great chapter. Very insightful into Mari’s mind after all these years. It’s incredible that she still didn’t think much of herself after all this time. She’s accomplished so much during her lifetime, she really should see herself more clearly.

            Mari has definitely grown on me. She has become one of my favorite characters of all time. Her self-destruction in her youth, her motherly love for her sons and only daughter, her caring for her grandchildren and great-grandchildren. She’s truly an amazing person/sim ❤

            Liked by 1 person

  7. azzywoods says:

    RIP Mari. I’ll miss her so much.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. OnyxRaven says:

    Nooo…. Mari, you were my favorite. You will be missed.

    Liked by 3 people

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      She was my favorite too! 😦 Thank you so much for reading, by the way (I don’t think I’ve seen you comment before!) I appreciate it ❤

      Like

  9. Well, I didn’t think I needed to cry this morning… Guess, you had other plans for me. I am a sobbing mess. I really like how you gave Mari a D2D final. It was so perfect and ended perfectly for her. She never truly knew or understood how much good she was, and she was a good person. Okay, now I’m going to go cry in my pillow. RIP Mari.

    Liked by 3 people

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Sorry for all the tears today 😦 I shed many myself while writing and screenshotting this one! I’m happy you liked the D2D-like ending… it felt right for her (and it was fun to call back to the roots of this story/family a bit too!). And yes, poor Mari never thought much of herself 😦 But I hope hearing the family’s kind words about her gave her peace ❤

      Thank you for reading!

      Like

  10. audreyfld says:

    That was beautiful. I am at my son’s house and had to read a few, come back read a little more, come back until I finally got through it without crying to much. I love the way you did it. Such a fitting tribute to her. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Thank you, Audrey! This one was so emotional for me. I really wanted to get it “right” and do justice to her. I’m really happy that you found it to be fitting ❤

      Like

  11. sonniejj says:

    Oh goodness, I thought I was keeping it together pretty wel until she walked towards Jonas.

    This is the most beautiful chapter you have ever written ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Oh wow! Thank you so much for saying that, sonnie! That’s incredibly sweet of you. This is a chapter I’ve been planning for a long time and writing it was so emotional. I’m so glad this one moved you so much ❤

      Like

  12. julyvee94 says:

    I’m not crying, you’re crying! 😭

    Rip Mari. I think she more than made up for her mistakes. They’re in the past. She was a LIFETIME of support for her family ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Sorry for the years, July 😦 This was such an emotional one for me too. I think you’re right — she more than redeemed herself 🙂 And I hope she realizes that now and can have peace ❤️ Thank you for reading!

      Liked by 1 person

  13. witchazard says:

    Lady: The court of WitcHazards sends out condolences to The Rosebrooks in their time of mourning! We will always remember the wonderful train wreck that was Mari Rosebrook! We enjoyed the ride of her epic Saga! Although Zayne makes a close second we still give first to Mari for most dramatically entertaining Generation! However we still have five more to go so I wonder which of them will try to steal her crown?

    Liked by 3 people

  14. maladi777 says:

    This was so beautifully done! Must have been lots of work.
    (swooned there a little over young Stefan)
    The worst thing is that now Mark is the oldest one in the family, isn’t he? 😦 As long as Mari was alive I knew he was safe, now I’m really worried.

    Liked by 3 people

  15. Jes2G says:

    At first, I was like, this makes no sense! Why do this to her? Hasn’t she suffered enough? But, of course, the payoff was beautiful. Almost like one last lesson to learn before she goes off into her true happily ever after. Excellent work!

    Liked by 2 people

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Haha it was a self-inflicted punishment. Like the voice said, she was the one who created all those terrible visions. She’d convinced herself she was truly terrible and unworthy of a peaceful afterlife. Like you said, one last lesson! 🙂 Glad you enjoyed it

      Liked by 1 person

  16. Simslover163 says:

    That was so touching and beautiful. ❤ That must've taken a lot of time to make it happen!

    She'll be missed. Despite all those horrible events she went through, she has done so much for the family.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. fabtiffsim says:

    Nicely written!

    Liked by 1 person

  18. gilplum says:

    AAAAAAA TEARS IM GONNA MISS MARI SO MUCH
    I’m just happy she’s with her lovedones again she deserves it

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Thanks, gilplum! I’m gonna miss her to 😦 But yes, she’s with her loved ones again and has peace at last ❤

      Like

  19. sourocha1 says:

    Oh, yaya! For Mari finally going to the hapiness she desearves! I liked the people appearing in the darkness, kind of reminds me of symbolism from movies!

    Liked by 1 person

  20. peaoorko says:

    You make me want to reconsider believing in afterlife with these beautiful closures for your characters.
    Mari has been appreciated by her lived ones and, most importantly, by herself. She’ll be remembered. I’m okay. Sobbing, but okay.

    Liked by 2 people

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Sorry for the tears! This one was very emotional for me too. 😦 She will most definitely be remembered by her family — in a very good way. And I think that thought gives her a lot of much-needed peace 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  21. thegraeyone says:

    This was a beautiful chapter. Seriously choked up.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Alpha says:

    *wipes tears*
    Damn it! I have to go to school like this!

    (but you wrote beautifully)

    Liked by 1 person

  23. DanaColourful says:

    Farewell Mari! You will be missed, but never forgotten.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Wow, that was so beautiful. Such a great goodbye. Seeing all the highlights of her life reminded me of why she was so complex and why I loved her so much. I’m so glad she got to hear what her family had to say about her, so she knows what she’s leaving behind. She will be missed.

    Liked by 1 person

  25. Tizy says:

    Goodbye Mari 😢

    Liked by 1 person

  26. skcaga6 says:

    I am so glad she finally found her peace.

    Liked by 1 person

  27. Clarity says:

    Wow, I haven’t commented in a while. But I just want to say that I love Mari and she is one of my favorites, if not my absolute favorite character in this legacy. Her journey from self-hatred to acceptance is so inspiring and her strength, sense of humor, and overwhelming love for her family definitely is her legacy. Thank you so much for creating this beautiful human being and I hope she has finally found her peace.

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Thank you for this, Clarity 🙂 That is so sweet of you to say! I love that you love Mari so much, and I appreciate you for following her journey to the end ❤

      Thank you for reading!

      Like

  28. Simmie says:

    She’s finally realised something that she couldn’t fully realise in her own lifetime. That no matter what she has done, they loved her. Because no matter what she thought she wasn’t worthless. Her family proved that at the funeral. She deserved that love. Well done getting through writing that.

    Liked by 1 person

  29. theplumbob says:

    I loved this so much! You’ve executed it so beautifull, what a wonderful celebration of how far Mari had come since her early days, her growth and how she touched the others’ lives. So long Mari, you were amazing ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  30. friendsfan36 says:

    you make death come to life. it was very moving. because she realized that they loed her despite her flaws.

    Liked by 1 person

  31. lisabeesims says:

    Goodnight! Way to tear me up this reading afternoon. That was heart wrenching. Goodbye sweet Mari … Your family will miss you and so will we

    Liked by 2 people

  32. O'jenn says:

    I am at work crying!! I loved this so much. I feel like Mari’s final deed was to help Zayne and that maybe she couldn’t go yet until she did. And I was smiling so hard seeing Jonas again, he’s my favorite but you knew that already.

    Liked by 1 person

  33. bennihickschloe says:

    *crying to hard to comment* 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  34. misfit913 says:

    That was beautiful! RIP Mari…

    Liked by 1 person

  35. Oh Mariana Rosebrook, you took us on one hell of a roller coaster ride. You had such a presence, you couldn’t help having an incredible influence on your entire clan. You were a brat, a rebel, a careless idiot and a hot headed time bomb; but you were also a caring wife, a loving mother and an understanding (greatXwhatever) grandmother. You made your (big) mistakes, but you worked your ass off to make up for them and learn to love yourself again. Enjoy your happy ending, Mari, you more than deserve it.

    Goodbye, Mari. You will be missed. ;(

    *sobs*
    *SOBS*
    *sobs some more*

    Liked by 1 person

  36. SpurklyNinja says:

    TEARS.

    So beautiful.

    I’m really going to miss Mari. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  37. Omg I’m really over here shedding tears 😭 That was so beautiful. I’m so heartbroken to see her go. She was a blessing to the Rosebrooks.

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Thank you so much! This chapter was really hard for me too. She was so special. Thank you for reading ❤

      Like

  38. raerei says:

    ❤ Mari. I hope this means you finally figured out you weren't the terrible person you thought you were.

    Liked by 1 person

  39. Colourofmusic says:

    Jesus, I’ve been super busy with uni so had to stop reading for a while, and I start to catch up and find this. I’m not crying. You’re crying. Why Mari. Why.

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Awww Colourofmusic I’m glad you’re reading again! But I’m sorry you had to come back to such a sad chapter 😦 This was so so painful. I shed a lot of tears doing this one.

      Like

      • Colourofmusic says:

        I really liked Mari, she made her mistakes but she really grew in to such a great person. I can’t believe how attached I get to these characters, it’s insane. ❤

        Liked by 1 person

  40. addbratlove225 says:

    Well, I’m dead. That was insanely depressing. And my choice of music at the time was not helping the situation.

    Liked by 1 person

  41. goodbye sweet mari sleep well my love you will be missed G.B.N.F

    Liked by 1 person

  42. zombiegums says:

    THE LAST CHAPTER MADE ME TEAR UP. THIS ONE HAS ME SOBBING.

    I THINK I’M GONNA HAVE TO GO TO BED NOW. I’VE GOTTA GO OUT TOMORROW AND I’M PROBABLY GOING TO HAVE SWOLLEN PIG EYES FROM ALL THE CRYING I’M DOING.

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Forgive me! 😦 this one absolutely broke my heart, so I understand. Mari was so special. Please go to bed and think happy thoughts. ❤

      Like

  43. samasasim says:

    Been mentally preparing for this for a long time.
    It was more lovely than I could imagine. Fantastic job!
    Goodbye to Mari ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  44. candycotton says:

    aww, another chapter that is truly beautiful… I’ll miss Mari, I always liked her ;_;

    Liked by 1 person

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