5.46: Passion

I still can’t believe it, but Monday was my last day at the restaurant.

I spent eight years of my life working there. It’s the only job I’ve ever had (well, only real job… I still hate thinking about that stupid shit I got wrapped up in when I was a kid). It’s just kinda hard to believe that it’s all over now.

Everyone was so nice my last day. My boss gave me a fancy bottle of wine as a little goodbye present. It was really nice of her. She’s always been good to me. And Denise actually wished me good luck! It was a simple gesture, but definitely unexpected. Maybe she really does have a heart in there after all.

Tante Joce and Grandpa are still all worried that I rushed into things, of course. They think I should have waited til I had more of a plan before quitting. But they just don’t get how miserable I was working there! I couldn’t do it anymore.

At least Hope gets it. I came home from my last shift, and she was waiting for me with a little “Congratulations” cake she made me. It was so sweet (literally… Those boxed cake mixes have always been too sweet for me. But it’s the thought that counts!). If there’s one person I can count on to support me through this, it’s her.

It just really sucks that she had to leave so soon. Yesterday she left for a shoot back in her old stomping grounds – Five days in San Myshuno. You’d think I’d be used to her being gone by now… She’s been traveling a lot for work ever since we first started dating. It’s just been a little more often lately, ever since that big cover shoot. And it’s never fun when she leaves, but I’ve always had work to distract me when she’s gone, y’know? But not anymore. It’ll be kinda weird sitting around the apartment by myself all day.

Anyway, the good news is that with all this free time, I finally got started on some research for making my menu. I mean, I’ve gotta start somewhere, right?

Ur-Oma told me I should check out the attic for some “reading material” I might find useful… That definitely piqued my interest, so Opa and I climbed up there yesterday afternoon after I dropped Hope off at the airport. We found this giant box way back in the corner that just said “Lucas” on it, so we grabbed it and brought it downstairs with us right away.

I got all excited for minute, but when we opened it up, I realized that it wasn’t that Lucas… It was Lucas Ainsworth. My great-great-great… Well, you get the idea. Everyone in our family knows about him, mostly thanks to my great-great-grandpa’s book.

I think I was the last one in the family to know about him, actually. Tante Joce didn’t let me read Dust to Dust until I was twelve years old… And looking back, I think I know why. She wanted to make sure I was old enough to know the difference between fact and fiction. She didn’t want me getting my hopes up like I always used to when I was a dumb little kid. But I don’t think she waited long enough.

I’ve never been big on fishing, so I’ve only gone a handful of times over the years. But whenever I do, even after all this time, part of me always secretly hopes I’ll catch an angel fish.

But I’ll never tell Tante Joce that. I know that’s stupid. Ghosts aren’t real, and you can’t bring the dead back to life. It was just some stupid story Alex made up so he could make money when he came to Windenburg. It was all a lie.

Or at least, most of it was.

Lucas Ainsworth was a real person. And he really did have a restaurant back in the US. An incredibly successful one – it’s still around, even to this day. And in that big box Opa and I dragged out of the attic, we found all of his old notes and cookbooks. Hundreds of recipes. Hundreds. Talk about inspiration! I’ve been reading and taking notes ever since.

This is so exciting. For the first time in my life, I finally feel like I’m working toward something meaningful, y’know? Something I’m passionate about. And I feel like maybe I’m finally making my parents proud of me. I know they were all about doing what you love and following your heart… And that’s exactly what I’m doing now.

I’ve been listening to some of Papa and Onkel Florian’s old albums while I work, and in every single note Papa plays, I swear you can feel it – that excitement. That energy. That passion.

It’s the way I feel every time I look at Hope.

And, for maybe the first time ever, it’s the way I feel when I think about the future too.

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44 Responses to 5.46: Passion

  1. Trip says:

    Yeah Zayne, I doubt your dad’s sheet music would help you in your time of need. 😛 Thank you, other Lucas!

    Liked by 5 people

  2. witchazard says:

    Emotional WitcHazard: Seeing Zayne this happy is getting me all excited! I know everything is going to be sunshine and rainbows atleast with Citizen writing it, but I feel like he’s really coming into his own I’m so proud of him I’m rooting for you Zayne.

    Mama WitcHazard: Aw Lucas Ainsworth that take me back to Dust to Dust such a beautiful bittersweet story!

    Emotional WitcHazard: Mama I though you said people can be brought back from the dead!

    Mama WitcHazard: They can sweetie just not in this story.

    Emotional WitcHazard: But isn’t it set in the same work as Dust to Dust? So couldn’t they have brought Luzel back from the dead?

    Dark WitcHazard: Nobody likes a dues ex machina E!

    Liked by 3 people

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      I’m glad you’re rooting for Zayne! 😀 (and E is right… technically if Lucas or Hazel were ghosts sticking around, it’d be possible to bring them back, becuase this is the D2D universe still. So ghosts are a thing and so is ambrosia… but Lucas’ situation was VERY unique. Don’t expect a repeat of that 😛 )

      Like

  3. Senna says:

    (note: me being a horrible and spiteful bastard to follow. Feel free to ignore me or delete this comment)

    “I realized that it wasn’t that Lucas…”
    Unless there was a third Lucas I forgot about, I’m pretty sure you just dehumanized your dead dad there, dingus.

    “And I feel like maybe I’m finally making my parents proud of me.”
    I thought that was only going to happen after you screeched at one of your female relatives for dating someone much older, and thus dooming yourself and Hope to an agonizing, painful, immolating death.

    “I swear you can feel it – that excitement. That energy. That passion.”
    Can you also feel the selfishness, the favoritism, the entitlement, and the general assholery? I’m pretty sure that’s in there, too.

    (Yeah, I’m not in a good mood today, for the record. Just needed to release all that bile that was inside me, sorry about that)

    Like

  4. sourocha1 says:

    Yep, Lucas, dead don’t come back to life…sure…Just don’t ask you Aunt Jocelyn about it…Good he has some aspiration from both Lucas!

    Liked by 2 people

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      He definitely has a bit of both Lucases in him, doesn’t he? 🙂 The passion for what he loves and the love of cooking! 😀

      Like

  5. Oh so many heartstrings get pulled with this one. I can’t believe the family now thinks Lucas’s story was fiction!!! I just want to send my Simself to drive over to the Rosebrook home (somehow across the ocean and two hard drives, lol). She will learn just enough German to tell them that story really happened!! It really happened!! Okay, I’m calm, but darn it! His life’s work being lost as “fiction” Grrrr.

    On another far less crazy note, I love that Lucas’s recipes and whatnot are still in the attic. I’d love to see this attic, I bet there’s all sorts of goodies from past generations there. It’s so very Rosebrook of Zayne to use the inspiration of past generations to help decide what he’ll do for his future.

    Liked by 2 people

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Hahaha unfortunately it’s been so many generations that it’s now regarded as fiction, yes 😦 I think Jocelyne kinda-sorta believes. Tobi and earlier do believe. Zayne… Well, he’s a skeptic, as you can see haha. I think a small part of his heart WANTS to believe though. 🙂

      I’m glad you like Zayne looking to the past! I definitely love having my Rosebrooks look to the wisdom and experience of the past generations to help guide them. It feels fitting for a multi-generation legacy story like this one! 🙂

      Like

  6. peaoorko says:

    Fingers crossed for Zayne!
    HoZay is becoming my new favourite couple. I’m getting some serious Jonas vibes from Hope.
    I’m a D2D groupie so of course I love the throwback and oh em ge, that family photo at the end made me wanna cry.

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Hope is definitely something of a gem! Like Jonas was (RIP 😥 ) HoZay are one of my favorite couples too. I adore them! Glad you do too! And I’m also glad you enjoyed the D2D throwback!!! 😀 Thanks for reading, as always 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  7. shamanarza says:

    Does Zayne, by any chance, have the Jealous trait? We know he has hot-headed… and that sounds like a potent combo.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. CitizenErased14 says:

    LMAO those kinds of secrets are for Zayne’s other more private journal 😉 Hehehehe

    (btw, did you miss yesterday’s chapter? Hopefully not, but I noticed you didn’t “like” like you usually do!)

    Liked by 1 person

  9. CitizenErased14 says:

    (I’ve had TWO readers recently find out that they skipped past chapters by mistake so now I’m on high-alert with everyone because I’m super anal (and not the good kind!)

    Like

  10. azzywoods says:

    Yay callback to other Lucas (I read D2D and yes, it was really good! 🙂 ). I’m so glad Zayne is pursuing this. However, because it’s A2A I feel like the ride to a successful Zayne restaurant will nto be so smooth…

    Liked by 1 person

  11. kaffepigen says:

    It’s so wonderful to hear him talk like this, though it made me a bit sad that he thinks D2D is just a Lie… Fiction. But yeah, Even if he believed it to be true, he wouldn’t be able to bring back his parents. They moved on years ago. Probably after Lucas talked to Joce

    Liked by 1 person

  12. raerei says:

    At least you can make Lucas’s restaurant for good! Or at least have Zayne recreate it. 🙂

    The best things about attics in old houses is all the memories they store. I love how the Rosebrook’s now can keep going up there and find support.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. maddsim says:

    I love the throwback to D2D! And I’m so glad Zayne is finally excited about something! It’s definitely refreshing to see.
    I can’t wait to see how his restaurant turns out.

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Thank you for reading! Glad you enjoyed the throwback so much! It’s nice for Zayne to have so much excitement and passion right now 🙂

      Like

  14. Jes2G says:

    Nice chapter! Loved the box in the attic bit. Now I have a thousand unrelated questions about said box and restaurant LOL. Don’t ask me what they are for I fear I’d send you into a backpedaling frenzy. XD

    Liked by 1 person

  15. lisabeesims says:

    Hmmm was it made up ??? Anyway Got some big shoes to fill there Zayne but we know you can

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Yay for Zayne! I can’t wait to see the restaurant! I HOPE he can keep all this passion and motivation going through the entire process. Just remember, Rome was not built in a day (nor was it built peacefully).

    Liked by 1 person

  17. sonniejj says:

    It’s 3:30 pm here and I’ve been studying for about six hours, and now I’m at the point where I keep coming to your blog to check if the new chapter is up yet.

    Oh, the joys of exams :p

    Liked by 1 person

  18. SpurklyNinja says:

    Wow, other Lucas. Ahh, the memories. ❤

    And sure. "Fiction"

    Can't wait to see how the restaurant biz goes!

    Liked by 1 person

  19. theceltygirly says:

    I love all the connections, because even though I didn’t read Dust to Dust, I’ve heard a bit about it through this story. Also it’s so fun seeing all of the photos in the backgrounds of the shots 😀

    Like

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