5.45: Risk

Author’s Note: As you guys may have noticed, there was no new chapter yesterday, and this chapter is being posted on a Wednesday, which is unusual for me! 

That’s because, for now, I am cutting back my update schedule to three chapters a week instead of four. There are lots of reasons for this (both personal and simlit-related haha). No bad reasons, I just am ever-so-slightly cutting back on the amount of time I spend working on A2A every week. Don’t get scared though! I have no plans to ever cut back more than this, and definitely no plans for a hiatus or anything crazy like that. You guys know I love the Rosebrooks way too much for that 😉

I bet by the summer I’ll be back to four a week. But for now, a little ‘break’ for me! 🙂 You can now expect three A2A chapters a week — Weekends & Wednesdays (doesn’t that have a nice ring to it? 😉 )

See you Saturday with a new chapter! As always, thank you all for reading ❤

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I feel like I have so much to think about right now.

It all started last night, while Hope and I were having dinner. I made one of her favorites – lobster tortellini – and she was being her usual self, gushing over how delicious everything was, even though it’s the same recipe she’s had a dozen times. She’s so sweet. Always so supportive… But always pushing me too. That’s part of why I love her so much.

And last night, she pushed again… hard.

She started telling me I need to get my tortellini added to the menu down at the restaurant. And the way she said it was so innocent, y’know? So sincere. But it just rubbed me the wrong way for some reason. I ended up going on this giant rant about Denise and what a controlling piece of shit she is and how she treats me like I’m her bitch instead of her assistant and… Yeah. It got kind of ugly.

I don’t think it was hugely surprising for Hope to hear just how miserable I am at my job. I mean, she’s been hearing me complain for years, but I just keep making all these excuses and trying to downplay how bad it really is… But it sucks. It really, really does. And I was so sure getting promoted would make things better. Boy, was I wrong.

Hope was amazing, of course. She sat there and let me vent for a while… And when I was finished, she just looked me in the eye and said “You can’t keep letting her treat you like this. Don’t sit there and let her walk all over you. Do something about it.”

And I know it’s easier said than done, but… She’s right. I can’t just keep sitting here doing nothing.

Cooking’s been my dream for years… But I want to do it on my terms. Or at the very least, I want to work with someone who’ll compromise a little. I really fooled myself into thinking I’d get some more respect after I got promoted… I mean, I know I’m supposed to be Denise’s second-in-command. I still answer to her. But I thought she’d give me at least a little freedom, y’know?

I’ve let this go on for years now, ever since I first started working in the kitchen. And I’m not sure how much longer I can handle it. It really feels like I have to do SOMETHING… But what?

I mean, look at Hope. She moved all the way from Newcrest to San Myshuno to try and start her career. She took a HUGE risk. And when it didn’t quite pay off the way she wanted it to, she didn’t just sit there doing nothing. She took another chance, and now she’s here in Windenburg with me, doing better than she’s ever done before.

Onkel Stefan did the same thing, years and years ago. He took a big risk moving to Willow Creek, and it payed off. My Papa too. While Tante Joce and Tante Clara went off to uni, he stayed at home with Onkel Florian working on the band… And they had a great career. He never even would have met Mama if it weren’t for the band. His risk ended up being worth it too.

And I tried taking the same one. I never went to uni either. I’ve always hated school, and I was kinda gambling on the chance that the restaurant would hire me in the kitchen someday. And they did, eventually. I got exactly what I’d always wanted…

I guess it just turned out that it wasn’t what I wanted after all.

There’s really only one way I can think of fixing this whole thing… And the thought is terrifying, to be honest. It feels like it’s too late now. Like I’m in too deep, y’know? It took me years of hard work to get to where I am right now.

Could I really throw it all away and go back to square one?

Should I really risk everything just for some crazy dream?