5.39: Worth the Wait

I thought saying goodbye to Hope was hard the last time. But God, this time was so much worse. It hurt. It seriously did.

The time we had leading up to that goodbye though… Well, we didn’t have much of it. But it was incredible.

It finally happened. After all that waiting and wondering and chickening the fuck out, it happened. I don’t even think either of us were planning on it. It’s like that spark we felt has just been growing and growing all this time, y’know? And the moment we saw each other again, well… We caught fire right away.

And oh my God, it was even better than I’d imagined it would be. And I don’t just mean the sex (though that was pretty freaking amazing… Holy shit).

But I mean just… being with her. Holding her hand. Kissing her lips. Cuddling on the couch together. I’d almost forgotten how amazing those things feel when they actually mean something… And I don’t think they’ve ever meant this much with anyone before.

It’s so cheesy, but I seriously feel like the luckiest guy in the world right now. I wake up every morning worrying that this whole thing will turn out to be some kind of crazy dream. But hey, until I do, I plan on enjoying the dream while it lasts.

I just hate that she couldn’t stay longer. She was only here for a few days, and she was so damn busy the whole time – a big photo shoot, dinners and meetings with people from the modeling agency… Not to mention all the shit I had to do at work too. It felt like I barely saw her.

But we definitely tried to make the most of the time we had. She called and canceled her hotel reservation right away – she ended up just staying at my place. And that definitely helped a lot. Hope’s days may have been booked pretty solid, but we got to spend every night together.

And we still managed to fit in some time in between all my shifts and her appointments. I cooked for her a few times, we rented a movie Sunday night, and we even squeezed in a trip down to the arcade one afternoon (turns out she sucks pretty bad at video games… I knew there had to be something about her that wasn’t perfect!)

It’s kinda funny, I guess. In some ways, it feels like everything’s changed now. But it also feels like nothing has too… Especially now that she’s gone again.

Things are exactly the same as they used to be. We’re back to nothing but phone calls and text messages and Facebook chats until we see each other again.

And we’re also back to having no freaking clue when that’ll be.

Hope promised it wouldn’t be as long as last time. But who knows? Her schedule’s so unpredictable, and she’s been traveling even more than usual lately… For all I know, it could be months before she makes it back here.

And honestly? A week, a month, six months – It doesn’t matter. It’ll feel like a damn eternity to me no matter what.

But as much as this whole thing sucks, I know I can handle it.

Because she’s definitely worth the wait.