5.32: That’s Okay

Well, it sounds like I’m going to be grounded for the rest of my life.

I guess I can’t really blame Tante Joce and Grandpa. And it’s not like I have anywhere to go anyway. Just school and work (No not THAT work. I’m done with that. For GOOD.)

02-08-17_4-16-09-pm

I still don’t know what the hell I was thinking trying to stand up to Eun like that. I should have just run back home when I had the chance. But I was just too damn stubborn… I was so determined to make it work out. And that was one of the worst decisions of my entire life.

I think Eun was about three punches in when I made up my mind – if I died right then and there, the first thing I’d do is find my Mama and Papa and apologize to them for being such a fucking idiot and throwing my life away. And if I got out of there alive, I would go straight back home to Tante Joce and never set foot in that damn apartment building for the rest of my life. So as soon as I saw my chance, I took it. I kicked Eun in the face as hard as I could, and I just ran. I literally ran. My face was bleeding and my head was spinning and my entire body ached… But I didn’t even care.

01-31-17_9-23-09-pm

It took me more than an hour to make it home on foot. I was practically dragging myself across the sidewalk by the time I got there. And you know what? I don’t think one person even stopped to give me a second look the entire time. I think it was almost better that way though… If someone had stopped me, they’d probably take me to the police or the hospital. But that wasn’t where I wanted to go.

I just wanted to be home.

The last thing I remember was seeing Tante Joce’s face before everything went black.

01-29-17_5-50-12-pm 02-08-17_4-07-31-pm-copy

That was already more than two weeks ago. It’s amazing how quickly I’ve gotten used to being back home and stuff, y’know? I really missed it… This big beautiful house, the fresh mountain air… And my family.

I missed them most of all.

The first thing I did when I got home was apologize to all of them – especially Tante Joce and the triplets. To Charlie and Alex and Tony for being so shitty to them. And to Tante Joce, for… Well, everything.

01-31-17_9-00-07-pm

I just can’t believe what I fucking idiot I was. What the hell was I doing? I guess I still don’t really know the answer. It all seemed to make sense at the time, and there are even moments when I think back, and I almost miss it…

But then I remember just how shitty things got — how shitty I was — and I don’t miss it anymore.

Tante Joce still keeps trying to blame herself, of course. No matter how much I tried to tell her it was my fault. Even Charlie tried taking the blame. I guess she’d been suspicious about me and Eun for a while, but she never told anyone. And okay, maybe she should have said something, if she was really that worried… But how does that make any of this her fault?

It doesn’t. This entire mess – everything that’s happened since the day I left home – it’s all on me.

02-08-17_4-19-57-pm

And as crazy as it sounds, I’m actually happy it all happened the way it did. (Yes, really).

I feel… different now. And not the same kind of different I felt back when I moved out. Like I’ve kinda changed. Learned something, I guess.

Now I think I understand how hard it is to live on your own. And I guess it kinda makes me think I should appreciate my family a little more. (Plus it taught me that cooking is fun and I shouldn’t piss myself at the sight of an open flame. So that’s something.)

02-08-17_4-23-38-pm

The whole reason I left in the first place was because I thought I was grown up enough to handle being away from home, but I wasn’t. I kept lying to myself and telling myself I was… But now I know that was a giant load of bullshit.

And now? After everything I’ve learned? Well to be honest, I still don’t think I am. But maybe I’m a little more grown up now than I used to be.

Just not completely grown up.

And you know what?

That’s okay.

02-08-17_4-18-12-pm

———————-

As this arc comes to an end, I realize that I owe a special little shoutout to pammiechick, who is the one who submitted Eun for my casting call. Thanks for the awesome villain!

Now who’s ready to put the teen arc behind us and move forward to the YA years? 😀

Okay, okay, put your hands down! Tune in tomorrow 😉

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46 Responses to 5.32: That’s Okay

  1. witchazard says:

    😭😭😭😭 aw my rebellious prince is growing up all it took was a near death experience from a drug dealer I’m so proud! Now that the teen arc is behind us I’m one step closer to my 6 gen nooboos!😆

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Hahaha yup, didn’t take anything drastic or anything 😉 Hehehehe And yes, you’re one small step closer to Gen 6 now 😛

      Like

  2. julyvee94 says:

    really nice chapter 🙂 I think even realizing and admitting how shitty he was makes Zayne a lot more grown up than he was before!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. crstasse says:

    Yay, teen arc is over and YA is about to start, I can’t wait!!! I really did enjoy Zayne’s closure in this chapter. He really has grown up and learned a valuable lesson in how to appreciate his family a whole lot more, because when it really comes to it, family counts for so much. They are always going to be there, watching your back and all. I love how Zayne comes to this realization and I think it makes him a much better person as a result of his bad experiences. It’s called life experiences after all! I can’t wait to see what happens next!!

    Totally love this story!! I’ve never managed to get past the third generation so you’re doing a great job!

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      I’m happy you enjoyed this closure! Learning to value his family more is so important… thankfully Zayne finally learned that lesson!

      So glad you’re loving the story. I honestly never thought I’d make it this far, so I’m pleasantly surprised at myself XD Thank you for reading!

      Like

  4. sourocha1 says:

    And we shall see everyone again…when their life’s are really miserable, until then!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. azzywoods says:

    I’ve been pretty silent throughout this whole arc, but I’m just gonna say I’m proud of Zayne. Now for his YA misery…>:)

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Haha I’m glad to see you comment, I’ve missed you Azzy 🙂 And I’m glad you’re proud of Zayne! Hopefully his YA years won’t be TOO miserable… 😛

      Like

  6. maladi777 says:

    See? I keep saying that it’s the villains who do a great deal of refining of the main characters! Look at Zayne, he’s a changed man now. And we have Eun to thank for that! Ah, villains… *swoon*

    Liked by 1 person

  7. audreyfld says:

    I am so laughing at the villain talk! Yes, overcoming evil makes us grow. And frankly he really needed to grow. He was so bratty! I am anxious to see how this shapes his adult life. Ready to move forward with the Zanny Adventures of Zayne… lol. And maybe see Charlie and Ben get married and have babies…

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      He really did need that, didn’t he!

      I’m so excited for the YA arc. I’ve loved writing YA Zayne so much so far and I’m eager for everyone to read it 😀

      Like

  8. raerei says:

    Zayne has grown up so much, just go back to his first journal entry when he was all upset that he was being coddled and treated like a kid and compare that to now. MAJOR character growth for the win!

    I love the shot of him cooking with the baseball cap – that’s like quintessential Zayne in my book.

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Thanks, definitely major growth! I’m very proud of Zayne 🙂

      And I’ll miss that baseball cap. We got it back only for it to disappear again 😦 haha but I love Zayne’s YA look 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  9. peaoorko says:

    I’m very glad Zayne is being so mature about this whole situation. The part about indifference of people is true,as I know from autopsy. 😦 Yay for the next arc, and here’s hoping poor boy will catch a break from trauma. :)!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Jes2G says:

    Awwww, he put his hat back on. Nice touch. So, brat prince, it took getting the crap out of you to see clearly. Not ok. But, you did finally learn the lesson. Gotta love the thick ones lol.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. kaffepigen says:

    Nice job on this chapter 🙂 it Was really nice to “hear” Zayne realize that he is not an adult yet, though i also agree that he is more grow up now than he Was before 🙂 looks g forward to the YA years 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I love the jump from teen years to young adult years. I can’t wait to see what they all look like. Hopefully we meet the mysterious woman kissing him for Valentine’s Day soon. I have my hopes for who it should be, but I guess we’ll see.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. SpurklyNinja says:

    Awww proud of you, Zayne!

    YA arc? YAS

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Thanks, I’m proud too! ^_^ and I’m SOOOO excited for the YA arc 🙂 I’ve written about 12 chapters of it so far (I’m so ahead 😂) and I’m looking forward to sharing it with you guys.

      Thank you so much for being a great reader, ninja!

      Like

  14. Brass Buckles says:

    I’m glad everything has worked out so far.

    But I wonder, with Eun still at large and Zayne having gotten away from him, are we going to run into him again? Because I have the feeling he could still be trouble, and he’s still in the same apartment as Remi and River, as far as I’m aware. And he can’t be pleased about Zayne kicking him in the face.

    I hope Zayne takes up martial arts or something…

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Anything can happen! I do think that Zayne keeping quiet/not going to the police helped a lot. If he’d snitched, Zayne would most definitely be in trouble!

      Like

  15. fabtiffsim says:

    you did it zayne you’re all growed up!

    Liked by 1 person

  16. theplumbob says:

    It’s very lucky that Eun ended up deciding to let it slide. Given that he still runs in the same circles as Remi and River, they could have gotten in some serious trouble without being at fault. presumably Eun evaluated the situation and figured the beating would sufficiently scare Zayne off from his plans of going to the police.

    other than that, some serious growth on Zayne’s part in this chapter!

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Oh yeah, I’m sure Eun was keeping a close watch on Zayne for a while to make sure he really wasn’t gonna tell (and thankfully he didn’t) Otherwise, well… Zayne would not have been so lucky the second time haha

      Like

  17. misfit913 says:

    Wow, he has grown! Lesson learned 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  18. lisabeesims says:

    Phew … so glad that Eun did not come back after him as I was worried it was going to happen. And waving my hand LOL

    Liked by 1 person

  19. theceltygirly says:

    Growing up an being all mature ❤ good for you Zayne! So, how is he gonna fuck it all up next 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  20. addbratlove225 says:

    Wait does that mean that ZAYNE. NO. Is no longer the slogan? Yay! He’s being normal! Good Zayne.

    Liked by 1 person

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