5.29: A Little Different

Well, things are definitely a lot better since the last time I wrote in here… Just like I knew they’d be.

Eun actually ended up apologizing for what happened. I thought that was pretty cool of him. I was kinda surprised, to be honest. And he promised me that guy who threatened me won’t be a problem anymore. Something about the way he said it made me a little nervous… But I decided not to ask. The point is, he really seemed like he was sorry. And it sounds like it won’t be happening again… Thank God!

I started doing more runs for him, and so far everything’s been okay. I guess part of me’s still freaked about what happened… But I really, really need the cash. I can’t just quit or anything. So I’m doing what I said I would – sucking it up and dealing with it. So far so good.

And working with Eun’s not the only thing getting better.

Things with Victoria are more amazing than I ever thought they’d be… We’re kinda-sorta dating now, I think! I mean, the last time we went out together, she kissed me!

And it was a REAL kiss. It started as just a stupid little peck, but then she kinda took over and… WOW. I totally had zero idea what I was doing, but she didn’t seem to notice.

I couldn’t even sleep that night. I just kept thinking of her… And that kiss… And her tongue… Holy shit.

I mean, I’m still so stressed with school and the restaurant. I still feel weird about working for Eun. I still wish I didn’t have to lie to everyone. I still miss my family. I still miss being a normal kid. And there are days when I still catch myself kinda wanting to go home…

But there are definitely plus sides to living on my own, and I’ve been trying my best to focus on those lately.

And I just found out I have something pretty freaking awesome to look forward to. Something that’ll definitely help get my mind off the bad stuff.

So my Onkel Florian and Tante Clara are going away next weekend. Remi says they’re all excited about it… I guess they haven’t been on a trip together in years and years, so Onkel Florian surprised Tante Clara with a weekend in Champs Les Sims.

While they’re away, Remi and River are gonna be housesitting, and babysitting Rory too. But Saturday night, she’s staying over her friend’s house… So they said they’re gonna take advantage of it and invite a few people over.

Of course, knowing them, “a few people” really means “everyone we know”… Which means it’s gonna be epic. It’s always so hard having parties in our shitty little uni apartments. I can’t even imagine how insane an actual HOUSE party will be!

I’ve already called and told some of the guys about it, and Victoria too… I think Charlie and maybe Alex might come too (can’t count on Tony not to tell Tante Joce though…). Everyone’s so pumped. And I am too. I really am.

But despite everything, I still…

Ugh. I dunno.

I know I keep flip-flopping between being all giddy and excited and weird and mopey… But I can’t help it. It’s like I can’t even decide what’s amazing and what’s terrible anymore. Maybe everything’s neither. Or both?

The point is, it’s already been more than five months since I left home. And it’s definitely been an adventure. Not always a great one… But I’m trying so hard here. I can’t back down now. Not after all this time.

Tante Joce and grandpa have finally stopped nagging me about everything. They even tell me they’re proud of me. I think they finally believe that I can do okay without them holding my hand all the time… And that’s all I ever wanted.

I just thought it might feel a little different then this.