5.7: Too Sad

Hi. It’s me again.

I’m real sorry it’s been so long since I wrote anything. I’ve been real sad. Too sad to write.

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It all started at Christmastime. I got real mad when my wish didn’t come true. But I think I shoulda known it wouldn’t. Bruce tol’ me it wasn’t a good idea to make that wish. But I didn’t listen.

I wish I did.

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That was forever ago though. Things are a little bit better now. Well, some things. Other things just stayed the same. And there are some things that are even worse than they used to be. I don’t wanna talk about those things right now though.

I guess I’ll talk ’bout the good stuff first.

The triplets are really fun. An’ they’re gettin’ a little used to talkin’ normal instead of talking’ funny. They still talk English sometimes, but they’re startin’ to learn German. Their Mama’s been teachin’ ’em, and they’re learnin’ at school too.

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We play Void Critters together a lot. It’s awesome! Grandpa even likes to play too sometimes. We have a lotta fun together. And when Remi and River come to play and we’re ALL together, it’s the best ever. We’re like a special club. The Void Critter Club. The bestest club in the world.

And now that Onkel Auggy’s stayin’ here, he’s in the club too.

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He’s only been here a couple days. I’m not ‘zactly sure why though. All I know is that he n’ Onkel Noah had a fight or somethin’, so now he’s stayin’ at Oma and Opa’s house until they’re friends again.

I ‘member when Mama and Papa had fights sometimes. Mama’d get real mad and Papa would sleep on the couch and then the nex’ day he’d buy Mama flowers and play her a special song on his guitar to say sorry. Then he wouldn’t sleep on the couch again.

Maybe Onkel Auggy needs to get Onkel Noah some flowers. Or play him a song.

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But until he does, I’m having lotsa fun playin’ with him.

And guess what?! In a few months, I’ll have someone new to play with too!

That’s the other good thing. Tante Clara’s gonna have a BABY! I hope it’s a boy so it can be like I have a little brother. I’ve always wanted a little brother.

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A little sister would be okay too though. Long as I’m not the youngest anymore.

I guess I can’t have my own little brother or sister anyway. Not a real one. So Tante Clara’s baby will be the closest thing. I can’t wait to meet them!

That’s all the ‘citing stuff. Then there’s some stuff that’s just kinda okay, I guess.

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Like Dr. Becker. He’s still nice t’me and talks to me an’ stuff. He says I’m doin’ real good. We used to talk together every single week. But now it’s only a couple times a month. He tol’ me that’s a good thing. He says I don’t need him as much anymore. He says I’m strong ‘n brave. Bruce liked that.

He says it’s real good that I’m “justing” to Tante Joce takin’ care of me. I don’t really know what “justing” is. But Tante Joce is another thing that’s kinda okay.

She’s real nice. She gives good hugs too. And she even ‘members to spray the monster under my bed every night.

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But Mamas are ‘posed to give hugs. Mamas are ‘posed to spray the monster. And she’s not my Mama. I don’t want her to be. And I don’t really think she’s TRYIN’ to be my Mama either. It’s like an accident.

But I still don’t like like it.

And there’s other stuff I don’t like too.

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Like when Opa drinks his special juice and it makes him sad and sleepy. He doesn’t smile when he drinks the special juice. And I love Opa’s smiles. I love it when he picks me up and carries me all around on his shoulders too.

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But he can’t do it when he drinks the juice.

But I’m not mad at Opa. I know why he keeps drinkin’ it.

It’s ’cause he’s sad. He’s sad for ‘zactly the same reason I am.

‘Cause Mama and Papa went away.

And they’re never comin’ back.

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28 Responses to 5.7: Too Sad

  1. audreyfld says:

    Awww. So happy he gets along with the triplets. Maybe it will take Zane saying something to Tobi or even Jocelyn that will get him to snap out of it and realize what he is doing won’t help.

    Zayne has finally admitted his parents are never coming back. So sad for sure. I think his relationship with Jocelyn will get better as he gets older. He seems to understand she s not trying to be his mother but I hope at some point that he comes to think of her that way. I know she is already thinking of him as one of her own.

    Healing is a long slow process.

    Liked by 1 person

    • audreyfld says:

      Love the pic of Zayne and Tobi. Tobi is still hot!

      Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Yes, this was a really big step for Zayne — he finally understands they are gone forever. 😦 Hopefully your prediction will come true and he will come to love and accept Jocelyne as a mother-figure one day 🙂 She loves him very much and definitely sees him as a son at this point. Hopefully one day he will return that feeling!

      And in response to your second comment — Yes. Tobi is always beautiful ❤ Hehehe

      Like

  2. Clarity says:

    Oh no, he’s finally realized it. Poor Zayne. It’s probably good for him to start adjusting though. He has a huge family and they’re all there for him, so he’ll be okay. Everyone’s healing together. Tobi is definitely doing worse than anyone else. I hope he’ll be okay, but it doesn’t sound like he’s getting better.

    Liked by 2 people

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Yup, he’s finally figured out the truth 😦 My heart breaks for him! But yes, hopefully this is a step toward healing (eventually!)

      And yeah, out of everyone, Tobi is definitely in the roughest shape 😦 Jocelyne is probably second-worse. Everyone else is very very slowly healing. Hopefully Tobi and Joce can head in that direction soon too!

      Like

  3. fairlyvocal says:

    My first thought when I saw Zayn on Tobi’s shoulders was “Hold on kid! You’re gonna fall!”

    Tobi’s making me pretty sad (again … sigh). I mean, when your GRANDKID is telling you to quit drinking, you should MAYBE stop and think about your life? He needs help finding a constructive way to deal with his pain. COLETTE, GET OUT THERE AND TALK TO HIM. As for Zayne, I’m glad he’s “justing” to Joce taking care of him. But now I’m sad because he realized his parents are dead. UGH, ALL THE SADNESS IS SAD.

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Yeah, it’s pretty rough all around right now 😦 Sorry for all this dang sadness hahaha. Believe it or not, the next chapter is pretty happy haha. I think we need it 😛

      Like

  4. raerei says:

    Zayne is just the cutest. He will get eternal hugs from me. I love that everyone is slowly justing and learning that life continues on. It was cool to see Zayne’s perspective on everything….I just realized we dont see Bruce fir the first time in this chapter. It’s kind of like he’s more focused on the outside world now.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. SpurklyNinja says:

    Aw, he finally realized the truth of the situation. 😦 While it’s a good step, I feel for the little dude.

    Glad to see everyone is doing a bit better (minus Tobi :/), but I do still want to sit them down and have a little talk-
    JOCE: I see that you’re doing your best for Zayne, and it’s fantastic! Keep going, and also try to talk to him a bit more about your role in his life.
    GUS: Dude, go talk to Noah. Explain. Listen. We all know you love each other.
    TOBI: Stop trying to drown your feelings in alcohol! It’s not only hurting you but also the rest of your family. Let someone else in.
    CLARA: That baby bump is looking cute! 🙂 I’m going to wager a girl, but we’ll have to see.
    LUZEL FROM THE GRAVE: Send some love to the family. They sure as heck need it! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Spottydog714 says:

    Grief goes something like this?

    Shock/Denial
    Grief/Anger
    Acceptance

    I think we’re getting closer to acceptance. Zayne seems a lot happier in this chapter than he does in the others. An’ don” worry, Zayne, I don” like Opa drinkin’ his special juice either. Its makes me real mad.

    Tobi, must I remind you about the alcohol risk stats? Shall get my slapping wet fish out?

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Jes2G says:

    Wow. Progress. I want to say “poor kid” and “good job” in the same sentence. Not sure which one is more appropriate. Guess I’ll just say this: I’m glad he’s coming into the reality of his situation (as much as he can with his age), but it totally sucks.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. CitizenErased14 says:

    He definitely has some fun and positive memories to hold on to 🙂 I’m glad you liked that little story about them fighting haha it made me smile to imagine it!

    Like

  9. theplumbob says:

    Aww poor Zayne. Must be hard to finally let reality start creeping in. He’s growing up, and his sweet innocence can no longer protect him 😦 But this painful step will hopefully help him in the long run *fingers crossed*

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Yeah, it’s so sad 😦 Like, it’s probably a good thing in the long run that he’s finally understanding the reality of the situation. But it’s so sad too 😦 I just want to give him a hug haha

      Like

  10. theceltygirly says:

    Zayne makes me so sad 😦

    Liked by 1 person

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