4.59: This One’s For You


Hey guys.

I apologize in advance for how personal this one’s gonna get. I just kinda felt like getting it out there, I guess.

There’s really no easy way to say this… My nephew Lucas and his wife Hazel died just a few days ago. He was thirty fucking years old, just like me. Thirty. And she was twenty-eight. It makes me sick. Literally sick.

I still feel so numb about it. It’s like it’s not real. I keep trying to tell myself the phone’s gonna ring and it’ll be Hazel inviting me and Florian for dinner. Or I’ll go on Facebook and find another stupid meme Lucas left on my wall.

But neither of those things will ever happen again.

I’m sorry for spilling my soul to you guys like this. Things are just really bad right now. And like I said, it’s like it doesn’t feel real yet, know what I mean? But I guess I can’t be in denial for that much longer.

Our relatives from Willow Creek flew in last night. We’re already getting things ready for the memorial service. And today, we published his obituary in the paper. Which is the real reason for this post, actually.

Fourteen years ago (God, I feel old), back when this was some shitty teen blog, I wrote this stupid post bitching about obituaries, and how boring and impersonal they are.

And I’ve been thinking about that post a lot lately, because my family trusted me with writing one for Lucas.

It was probably the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to write, but I hope he would have liked it… Guess I’ll never know. But I figured I’d share it here for you guys to read too, if you want.

So here it is.

This one’s for you, Lucas. I love you.

obit1-crop3 obit1-crop obit2

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39 Responses to 4.59: This One’s For You

  1. shamanarza says:

    That’s an obituary Clara can be proud of.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. fairlyvocal says:

    I’m not crying.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. CitizenErased14 says:

    Yes, this one is still sad, but definitely has a touch of light the others lacked haha And I think Luc would have liked it too ^_^

    I’m sorry yesterday’s chapter affected you so much. It was a doozy! And you are so right about how children can help so much during times like these 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Simslover163 says:

    I’m so upset that Luc and Hazel DIED young!! Poor fam. That’s one obituary Clara should be proud of. Yesterday’s and today’s chapter made me really sad, but on the bright side, you’ve done very well with them, Citizen.

    Anybody on the SS Luzel????? If so, help is on its way!!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Spottydog714 says:

    I do like Clara. She can put a smile on my face, even in the darkest of times.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. audreyfld says:

    This was a very good way to lighten the mood from the last chapter. I so like Clara and her no BS attitude. Gets straight to the point and in doing so wrote a beautiful obituary. I suppose the chapter will be the memorial service. That will definitely make my allergies flare up again. *sniff* Oh darn, they already started. Excuse me while I find a box of tissues. 😥

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Clarity says:

    Well, that was some pretty subtle foreshadowing. Looking back on it, it seems obvious- Clara was gonna have to write an obituary. This really shows how much Clara has matured and wisened from her angsty teenage years. But this wasn’t impersonal. Though it did mention his achievements, they were dismissed next to how important his family was to him. I’m so proud of Clara, truly. It sounds like she’s going to make peace with Luc’s death, which she never would have done as a teenager. But she’s so much older now and she knows so much more. Hopefully she can help Jocelyne now, as she always has.

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Yes, you caught it haha back when I wrote that first obituary chapter, it was setting up for this one. She really has matured quite a bit, you’re right! I think Clara is going to handle this quite gracefully. And hopefully be a help to Joce, as you said!


  8. I love Clara’s growth here. To go from thinking obituaries are ridiculous to write a a really amazing one is so great for her character arc.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Virtualee says:

    Great job Clara it helped us remember him vividly and memorialize his heart ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  10. SpurklyNinja says:

    Looking back on Clara back when she thought obituaries were stupid to now is so fantastic to see. This one was amazing. I ended up both crying and smiling at the same time at the way she talked more about who he was as a person rather than just his achievements.

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      I’m glad that you enjoyed looking back at her original post about obituaries 🙂 This has been i the works for a while haha. Glad you enjoyed the obituary too. Definitely bittersweet!

      Liked by 1 person

  11. maladi777 says:

    I’m not going to cry. I’m going to play sims because it makes me happy. Yep. Honoring Lucas by playing sims.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. friendsfan36 says:

    until i got to the end i thought it was real people well written as always.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. DanaColourful says:

    *wipes tears away* see teen-clara? If done right obituaries can be beautiful. Your future self did a pretty dang amazing Job.
    I’m glad that this chapter isn’t as dark as the last few. Definetely still heartbreaking but there’s a silver lining

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Clara is glad you liked the obituary 🙂 I think you’re right, this one was sad, but a touch less heavy. Which is good right now! Poor Rosebrooks 😦

      Liked by 1 person

  14. raerei says:

    Thank you Clara for brining a little bit of light into an otherwise dark moment.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. theceltygirly says:

    I love that it tied back to that blog post. I love her obituary. Damn.

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Would you believe that this was the plan all along? Because it actually was haha I plan so far ahead that I’ve known since Joce and Luc were babies that he was going to die. And back when Alex died I had Clara write that blog post and I knew she’d be the one to write Luc’s obituary someday. It all ended up working out very well (well, minus the horrible sadness and pain 😦 haha)

      Liked by 1 person

  16. misfit913 says:

    What a beautiful obituary! I really wish this was how obits really were. Ok, I’ve had enough crying lol, can we get back to happy stuff??? 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  17. kaffepigen says:

    This makes me want to see My boyfriend SO badly! I love him ❤


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