You’d think I’d be happy right now. But instead I feel like shit. Absolute shit.
Things were bad enough already – Jocelyne hasn’t talked to us in over a month as it is.
But now I’m really starting to think she may never talk to us again.
She deleted all of us on Facebook – even Mama, Papa, and Gus. The only one she stayed friends with is Clara.
And she blocked our numbers from her phone, I think. None of our texts will go through, and all our calls go straight to voicemail, every time.
I really thought things were gonna get better after Mama drove out to talk to her… Honest to God, Lettie and I had talked about it so much. We were so ready to suck it up and learn to accept this whole ‘Mark’ thing.
How was I supposed to know he had other plans?
Clara called to tell Lettie and I what happened. Well, “tell”… It was a lot of screaming and swearing, actually. I almost couldn’t believe how upset she was for Jocelyne – she was almost in tears. And I’ll never forget what she said to us before she hung up – “I hope you’re happy.”
And I know I probably sound like the biggest hypocrite in the world… But no matter how I felt about Jocelyne and Mark’s relationship, how can I possibly be happy when my little girl’s heart is broken? How can I be happy when she’s shut all of us out of her life?
I don’t know what to do. This is what I’d expect from Clara, sure… But Jocelyne?!
This is the girl who’s always the first to apologize after any argument. The little girl who used to send herself to her bedroom if she ever talked back or gave us attitude. The one who tries so hard to keep peace in our house, even when everything’s falling apart. Maybe the only person in our family who never holds a grudge, or stays angry…
Lettie and I even drove to Falkenburg yesterday. We didn’t know what else we could do.
Of course, we made the mistake of saying something to Clara first.
By the time we got there, Jocelyne had already locked herself in her bedroom, and my Schwester was standing in the entryway, telling us to leave.
And, much as I hated it, that’s exactly what we ended up doing.
Jocelyne refused to say a word to us. We must have begged outside her door for a good thirty or forty minutes before we finally gave up. My poor Lettie was sobbing the whole time… But I guess even that wasn’t enough to get through to Jocelyne.
She only said one thing to us the entire time we were there. Her voice was hard to hear through the door, but we could still make out what she said to us. Colette wouldn’t stop talking about it the entire drive home, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since.
We’ve been through all the usual stuff with my Tochter when she was growing up. Childhood tantrums, teenage hormones… Even through all that, I can only count on one hand the number of times Jocelyne has ever said she hates us.
But this time, I really, really think she meant it.