I hate them. I hate every single one of them.
I hate Clara for looking at me with so much goddamn pity in her eyes all the time. I hate her for still inviting Florian over, and talking about the babies in front of me. I hate her for constantly shoving her happiness in my face.
I hate Oma and Opa too. I hate Opa for being such a fucking coward that he never even stood up to maman and Papa for me. I hate Oma for coming all the way here just to lie to my face and make me believe everything would be okay.
I hate Gus for not fighting harder for me. I hate him for letting everyone else gang up on me after EVERYTHING I’ve done for him. I hate him for being allowed to be happy while I’m left with nothing.
I hate maman for the way she cries and tries to guilt me in every voicemail she leaves. I hate her for talking about me like I’m some helpless child. I hate her for the way she looked at me when she saw me hold Mark’s hand for the first time.
I hate Papa even more. I hate him for all the terrible things he said to Mark. I hate him for thinking I’m too young to make my own decisions. I hate him for treating his own child like she’s some kind of freak. I hate him for picking Luc’s happiness over mine.
Luc… I think I hate him most of all. Him and that fucking bitch Hazel. I hate them for being happy. For being allowed to be happy. I hate them for being so goddman selfish. I hate them for pressuring Mark until he broke… And broke us too.
And Mark… I hate that my family could never understand how much he loves me. I hate that they never saw how gentle, and kind, and loving he is. I hate that they made him lose sight of what matters. I hate that he believed their lies.
I hate that I’ll never get to touch him or smell him or taste him again. I hate that I let him inside my heart. And most of all, I hate that he broke it.
But I don’t hate him.
I know I should. I should hate him more than anyone.
But I don’t. I can’t hate him, no matter how much I want to, or how hard I try.
But I can hate the rest of them. Easily.
I hate them for taking away the one good thing in my life. For stealing the happiness I’ve always dreamed of. For destroying the love I will never find again.
How many years have I stood on the sidelines and watched my family be happy? How long have I let them put Luc and Clara before me? How long have they walked all over me like I’m nothing?
And now they’re doing it again, worse than ever before.
This is their fault. They did this to us. They took Mark away from me.
And I will never — NEVER — forgive them.