4.45: How Much Longer?

I’m not sure how much longer I can do this.

Keeping this secret is killing me. Every time I call home, every time I chat with Luc… I feel terrible. Sick to my stomach.


I have no idea how Clara managed to keep her pregnancy from Florian so long without cracking… Or how Mark managed to hide Hazel from me.

Well, maybe “hide” is a strong word. I guess “conveniently neglected to mention” is a better way of putting it… Not that it makes it much better.

I mean, he never even bothered taking down the pictures of her in his house… But I always kept telling myself that the little red-haired girl in the photos was just a niece or something.


There were times I was so close to asking about that little girl… But I never did. And now I think I know why. I think a part of me always knew the truth. And I think I knew that if I asked, the answer would ruin everything. So I kept my mouth shut.

Looking back, I see what a fool I was to never question it. And now I know there were other things I should have questioned too. Like, when we first started dating, every time we were together, Mark never seemed to keep his phone on him. And now I think I know why… Hazel texts him all the time.

They’re really close – or at least closer than I am with my Papa. I guess it’s because it’s always  been just the two of them. Mark told me the whole story right after Christmas.

I guess he and Hazel’s Mama were never married… They’d been dating for less than a month when she got pregnant. “It was never supposed to be more than just a fling,” he said. But one mistake turned it into so much more.

And to make matters worse, Mark says she wasn’t too keen on the idea of settling down… Or having a baby.


But he convinced her to try to make it work…

Until it didn’t.

Less than a year after Hazel was born, her Mama ran off to Monte Vista with some other guy, and Mark got left with the baby. They never heard from her again.

It’s awful, isn’t it? I can’t believe anyone would ever do that to him! He was only two years older than me, left all alone with a baby to take care of…


Except now Hazel’s not a baby anymore. She’s just two years younger than me.

And dating my twin brother.


And both of them are going to absolutely LOSE IT when they find out about Mark and I. I know they will.

We still have no idea how to deal with it when they do.


The longer we keep it from them though, the worse it’s gonna get. It’s already killing me to have to lie to Florian all the time… But what other choice do I have? He’s Luc’s best friend. He’d tell him the second he found out the truth.

But keeping the secret is getting harder and harder. Now that he’s home from tour, Florian visits Clara almost every weekend.


And every time I go off to see Mark, I have to come up with some new bullshit excuse. “Oh, I have an extra rehearsal.” “I need to go to the library to study.” “I just wanna give you guys some privacy.” I’m really not sure how much longer he’s gonna fall for them.

And it’s even worse when I spend the night at Mark’s place. There’s only so many times I can claim I’m sleeping over with a friend before he’s on to me.

In fact, he might be already.


Ever since Christmas, it’s like he’s been keeping an eye on me or something. He’s way more interested in where I’m going or what I’m doing than he should be. And Clara’s been doing the best she can to cover for me, and convince him to be less nosy, but I can still tell he’s suspicious.

And I have an awful feeling he’s starting to figure out it has something to do with Mark.


Last weekend when he visited, Luc and Hazel came too. And of course, they visited Mark while they were here, so he and I didn’t get to see each other.

And Florian noticed.

Or at least, I think he did.

I mean, he made a point of commenting that it was the first weekend since Christmas that I’ve stayed at the apartment the whole time. And whenever Hazel brought up her Vater, I could feel his eyes on me… But why?


Was he watching my reactions? Trying to see if I’d slip?

He has to know something’s up… Doesn’t he?

Or maybe it’s all in my head.

I don’t even know anymore.


51 thoughts on “4.45: How Much Longer?

  1. Poor Joce!! Girl, just hang in there!! If Luc explodes with anger when you reveal that you’re dating Hazel’s dad, just stay calm and explain what got you attract to him. I know for a fact that Luc will explode on the day this happens. Oh wow, Florian has some idea about what’s going on?? Idk if he’ll be the one to spill the beans to Luc.

    I know it’s awful at the moment, but someday, this Marklyne secret has got to be revealed. Typical Rosebrooks and their shenanigans. Always wanting to keep things secret.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s likely that Luc will react really poorly, you’re right! But hopefully he’ll surprise us!

      And yeah, Florian is kind of a risk right now… Eek!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Secrets are a pain. But it’s okay Joce I doubt your suffering will last much longer. On s the bright side if Florian does know at least he’s been keeping it a secret. So maybe if you come clean he’ll keep it for you for awhile. Also coming out with your secret is better than it coming out because of a slip up. The feelings of hurt are still there but at least they don’t be extra judgy about it. And it must be stated that you were dating before you knew who Hazel was that’s key they can’t fault you for what you didn’t know.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah hopefully florian doesn’t complicate things too much haha we’ll see! And honesty is DEFINITELY better than it coming out accidentally… Hopefully that will not be the case!


  3. Poor Joce. I think it might be easier to just get it over with and tell your family, but maybe not all at once, because whenever people have told the entire family in the past, it hasn’t turned out well.

    I was literally sitting at my computer doing nothing but refreshing this tab for the last half hour!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahaha I love your dedication to getting a new update! And yeah, it’s that whole “just rip the bandaid off” thing haha she should totally just get it over with!


  4. If he know, you better neutrilize him…and since you are there do Hazel too…and maybe luc….Just kidding! But she should make things out, I don’t think she can psyoclichy take this, she is to pure!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Yeah this is a super crazy time for poor Joce! And yeah, she sees that she could have learned the truth if she’d really wanted to haha.

    And yes! 24-year-old Mark is a hottie for sure hehehe

    The Joce and Hazel thing definitely poses a big challenge. As does Luc. It’s kinda hard to wrap your head around how bizarre the potential future family tree would be! Haha

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Poor child. It’s funny. She learned a good lesson about keeping secrets, but now that she has her own juicy secret, she can’t seem to get her crap together. It’ll be very painful, buuuuut she just needs to get over and tell. It’s not gonna be any easier if she waits. She’s only delaying the pain for the pain will come regardless, so just take a deep breath and brace for impact!

    Liked by 2 people

  7. I have a sad feeling that when her family does find out they are going to take Lucs side..
    Same as they always did when they were younger.
    Jocelyn go practice somewhere else while Luc plays guitar!
    Jocelyn break up with Mark! That’s too weird for Luc and the family.

    I think she deserves to be selfish for once.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This is really insightful. I think that’s a definite possibility! Joce definitely deserves this happiness. I hope she gets to keep it 😦


  8. The sick to my stomach thing is so much of hint I am laughing so hard. And every time she spends the night – Florian has probably put it together. And when she does find out, Luc is also going to have a similar announcement that he and Hazelmare expecting!!!! ROFLMAO.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I love Florians faces – “detective Florian at your service” someone wise once said that people with that keep secrets have major fears …. I can see and smell the fear from here sadly 😦 Thanks for the updates!!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Sick to the stomach, eh? We’ll take anything we can get, Amanda. 😉

    I can feel the stress from Joce. The longer she hides it, the more miserable she’s bound to be, and it will most likely slip out anyway!

    Just talk to them, girl…. Get it over with. I think you deserve to be happy after this craziness.

    Also, Mark was very hot when he was younger, and he’s still handsome. (*swoon* :3)

    Also, that woman who carried Hazel in her womb was downright terrible for leaving Hazel and Mark like that. I’m refusing to call her a mom.

    Shit is getting VERY real.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah poor Joce is really feeling the pressure 😦 I feel bad for her! Hopefully the truth will come out soon!

      Glad you liked young Mark 😉 and yes, that woman definitely wasn’t a mom to Hazel 😦 I guess Mark was her dad AND mom hahaha

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Poor Jocelyn having to lie all the time and living with the worry of anyone finding out and how bad it would be!! BTW I absolutely loved the flashback pictures of Mark with his daughter!! I also like how Jocelyn was curious about the girl, but subconsciously afraid to ask about her. I guess both of them just didn’t want to ruin the moment of first discovering their love for each other. But the truth always has to come out sooner or later. No matter how long Jocelyn and Mark try to keep it a secret, the truth has to come out and there isn’t going to be a good or easy time of it!!
    I just love this story so much. I know I don’t get to review every chapter, but I just love how much detail and thought you put into not just the words, but the images too!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Aw thank you so much! You are so right — if nothing else, Joce should have learned by now that the truth ALWAYS comes out, sooner or later! Why prolong the inevitable?


  12. Hahaha yes, I saved up all her drama-points and cashed them in at once 😛 And Florian is on the gallery in a household I uploaded for someone else’s story hehe but you need cc enabled. Be warned though — Florian’s hair and facial hair are a good part of what makes him so attractive, and both are cc haha so unless you have them in your game you will get a bald, clean-shaven florian who is less attractive hehehe


    1. Nope, not that one! It’s called Bloomer Kids 🙂 It’s for ThePlumbob’s Bloomer legacy. She did a casting call for kids so I made a couple and then dropped in some free eye candy hahaha


  13. I guess that Clara did tell Florian that the secrecy/weird behaviour at Christmas wasn’t about her in the end. Which is a good thing. Question is will he respect her privacy? Judging by how he acted when Clara was seeing Douchy McAsshole as a teen, I feel like his big brother syndrome will kick in and he’ll try to help her by investigating a bit more and potentially sharing the info the same way he did with Clara. Then again, perhaps it was different with Clara because he may have had some form of a crush on her then already. And the situation itself is different too, but Florian would probably not realise that as an outsider. Hm.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You bring up lots of good points about how Florian might react from here! There are definitely different ways it could play out… Stay tuned haha


  14. Oh, Florian, Florian. Think you’re clever are you? Or did Clara actually fess up and tell? Although it’s not really her secret to tell, but after the baby debacle, you KNOW how he feels about you keeping secrets from him. You were supposed to tell. I think. Maybe not. Arg. This is hard. Florian, don’t mess things up – or maybe that’s what they need? Someone to rip the bandaid off this secret?

    Liked by 1 person

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