4.40: Missing

I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy in my entire life.

Every day, I ask myself if I’m dreaming. How could any of this be real? I keep looking at Mark and just waiting to be woken up. But it hasn’t happened yet. And I hope it never does.

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Now that we’re finally together, I don’t ever want us to be apart. And luckily, we never are for very long.

He and I used to spend so much time at the library together, and now that I’m not working there anymore, I was afraid I’d see less of him. But we make it work. I still stop by the library to visit after class or rehearsal, and I’ve also been spending a lot of time over at his place.

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And now, he’s finally able to visit mine too.

It took Clara less than a week to figure out what was going on. And when she confronted me about it, I didn’t even bother trying to deny it. I knew she’d figure it out eventually anyway, no matter how hard I tried to keep it from her.

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I was so worried about how she’d react… But she was actually really cool about it. I guess she was kind of shocked, at first… Which I totally get. But that didn’t last very long. She even promised not to tell anyone.

And that definitely surprised me a little.

I mean, I already feel like such a hypocrite… After everything she and I have been through, who would have thought she’d end up being the one keeping my secret?

It’s just like Mark said – I’m scared. I keep trying to put on a brave face for him, but honestly? I’m terrified. And I know he is too… But so far, it hasn’t been as bad as I thought it’d be. We’ve found a bunch of places outside the city where we can go out together without worrying too much.

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It hasn’t been completely without its challenges, of course… He’s already been mistaken for my Vater twice. And there have been a few uncomfortable stares… But it’s getting easier and easier to ignore them. I guess it helps that they’re from complete strangers, too. We’ve been trying to be as low-key as we can about this whole thing when we’re around people we know– and especially around campus.

I know people will find out eventually, though… Including my family. I guess we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. But for now, it’s nice not having to worry about anyone else but him.

And I think Clara understands that too. “You know your parents are gonna flip, right?” I remember her saying. “Well, when they do, screw them, Jocelyne. You deserve to be happy, no matter who it’s with. Enjoy it.”

I almost couldn’t believe it… I never knew she felt that way, but I’m so grateful she does.

And I’m definitely enjoying it.

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I really hate being over-the-top and using all these corny romantic clichés, but I honestly don’t think I ever understood the word “soulmate” until Mark came along.

I feel so different every time I’m around him.

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I’m still me, but… a better me.

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He makes me feel like I can do anything.

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I don’t know how else to put it into words, except that he completes me.

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He’s the part of me I never knew I was missing.


65 thoughts on “4.40: Missing

  1. Ah, that’s so adorable. They’re pretty sweet together. I’m glad Clara was so cool about it… I bet Lucas gets really het up, Tobi and Colette are weirded out as shit and a bit mad and Auggy, Mari and Jonas are like ‘Er…what.’

    Shame about the awkward stares and comments, and secrecy, but I’m glad it isn’t causing a rift…yet. But honeymoon stage, amirite?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I do love them together 🙂 And yes, Clara is pretty open-minded. I think she’s secretly like “Um… this is weird”, but Joce has done so much for her over the years and proved herself as a true friend time and time again — and Clara is repaying her by not judging her and not telling anyone about it 🙂

      As for how the rest of the family will react… It’s completely up in the air at this point. It could be anything from a calm reaction like Clara’s to grossed/creeped out to anger and everything in-between haha

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Soul mate hmmmm, guess that is why I ship them, I must have picked up on that earlier on!! Just really love these two together so much!!! I don’t know what it is, just that they fit so perfectly. Age is irrelevant I think, when you love some one – well you just love them 🙂 Great chapter!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. They are super perfect for each other 🙂 And Joce definitely doesn’t use the term “soul mate” lightly here! I’m really happy you ship them so much. ^_^ Thank you for reading and commenting, as always! 😀


  3. #TeamMarklyne all the way. I think they’ve marked the spot for my favorite couple ever. Also, Clara gets brownie points for givong Joce such good advice for when her parents find out about this.

    This chapter totally cheered me up after a looong and boring day at work haha 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Awww I love that they’re your new favorite! I really do adore them, even more than I thought I would when they were just in my head haha. The more I write and screenshot them, the more I love them ^_^

      And yes, Clara was kinda awesome in this chapter haha. Glad I could offer you some happiness after a tough day!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. (pours Cherry Coke into a glass)
    (stuffs fist full of popcorn in mouth)
    *crunch crunch crunch*
    “You guys are so cute with this. I’ll be over here…yeah, I’m talking with my mouth full!”

    Liked by 7 people

  5. Squeeeaaal! Those pictures are too cute to handle! I especially love the one where they’re just reading next to each other, because to me it sums up why they’re so perfect for each other.

    It sounds like they’re having troubles with perceptions already, and that will only get trickier down the line, but I’m glad that Joce is mainly focusing on the positives – this initial phase of perfection is shortlived, even in supposedly conventional relationships, so she should make the most of it 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Glad you enjoyed them! I’m a huge fan of that reading picture too… It’s so THEM. Hahaha Just sitting next to each other, reading and not having to say a word 🙂

      And yes, despite all the happiness in this one, some of the negativity is already creeping in… :/ Hopefully Joce will continue to enjoy the calm before the storm… (Erm, I mean… What storm?)

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I’m really proud of Joce 🙂 I think she’s really developed as a character. She doesn’t care about all the stares and comments now, but I’m sure if a similar situation had happened a while ago, she probably wouldn’t have reacted as calmly. I guess Joce is breaking out of her shell 🙂 I think? xD

    Liked by 2 people

    1. This is a very insightful comment! I think it’s true. She cares less about what others think and she’s more concerned with herself and her own happiness. It’s a nice change for her! ^_^

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Yeah, there are definitely challenges ahead. But like you said, the love is very strong! Joce doesn’t use the term soulmate lightly here. She really means it! 🙂

    Glad you enjoyed the dating pictures. They are having a lot of fun together ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I have a feeling that tobi is going to Flip. Not sure about the Rest of the family. Jonas has always been pretty understanding, but even if he won’t be in this Situation joce still has Clara on her side.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Very true — if nothing else, at least she has Clara!

      As for the family’s reactions, I think it’s a fair prediction that Tobi is the most likely to flip out… But we can’t say for sure yet. There’s definitely going to be a range of reactions from the Rosebrooks. But time will tell where everyone stands!

      Liked by 1 person

  9. I think her family will be surprised for sure but both her parents and grandparents know how imperfect relationships are.. I don’t think.. Or I at least hope they won’t be too upset.
    If Mark treats her well and she’s happy, that should be enough.

    I’m really content with these two though. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s true, Tobi, Colette, Mari, and Jonas have all seen a lot, including relationships having to overcome obstacles. That could help them be a bit more understanding. We will have to wait and see!

      I’m glad you are happy with this couple 🙂 I love them ^_^


  10. Hmmmm … I think Joce is actually better off with Mark. I mean, she’s so mature that dating a person her age might end up being annoying. This chapter was soooo cute, and I LOVE the last screenshot. LISTEN TO CLARA, JOCE. IF YOUR PARENTS GIVE YOU HECK, THEN YOU GIVE THEM HECK RIGHT BACK. But then go make up with them and have a civil conversation about the matter. They’re your parents.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Love this comment 🙂 I think you’re right that Mark is great for her, and that Clara is giving great advice! And I’m glad you liked that last screenshot. I am quite fond of it as well!


  11. No joke, legit had tears pricking at my eyes. So sweet! Loved the pictures! ❤

    And, wow, Clara! It's really awesome that you are so supportive of Joce. Great advice! (*claps loudly… SHE'S COME SO FAR…)

    But please do tell your family about your relationship, Joce. You deserve to be happy, and I think your family has had enough secrets to last a lifetime. (I have a sneaking suspicion that they will be supportive, though.)

    Can't say this enough: absolutely adorable!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Awww! Thanks ninja ❤ I'm So glad you loved this one so much! Jocelyne is so happy. It's really heartwarming. She's never really been UNhappy, exactly… But Jocelyne hasn't had anything this good in her life for a long time 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  12. What an adorable couple, although…did they like the movie? Was it awful? Did it live up to its name? I guess we’ll never know, neither one was probably watching. I bet they spent the entire movie just staring into each other’s eyes.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Yeah, girl! That’s what Im talking about! You deserve to be happy, no matter what, and I was expecting to Clara to accept he, and about her family, they stood for a drunk woman that had a lot of cases with diferent men, and had some self-stem problems, with a twin that hated his step-father, with a son that pregant his girlfriend, with the other twin wanting to leave for another place with his reak dad that he has been religiuos be looking for, and for the ”perfect couple” having their wedding a bit ”cold” and the men cheating on his wife, If they stop to think about It, a decent men that is just some years older than your daughter is nothing. 😛

    Liked by 1 person

  14. This is so freaking wonderful! I’m glad they get to be in their happy bubble. Knowing you, *cough cough*, I imagine they’ll need this happy foundation to lean on once more than just Clara knows about their relationship. But we’re not there yet. Right now I’m just happy enjoying Joce and the Librarian. That’d make a good romance novel…

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Yay! Clara is on team #Marklyne 😀

    Hmm…her family… I think there will be a lot of mixed emotions around the bunch, but eventually I see things working out 🙂 I have a feeling Gus might be shocked at first, but one of the one’s to move on from that and be happy for her first 😀

    It must be difficult to hide a relationship and not be able to freely express how you feel all the time, without worrying what other’s might think. I believe if Joce was to tell the family, that she’d gain more courage (as well as Mark) to be open around Mark when out and about or maybe the other way around 😛 I believe that no matter what happens, there will always be someone in the world who disagrees and you just have to except that and be who you are and not let it bother you (unless of course it’s someone who HATES and doesn’t let other’s live their own lives). In the end you just have to know that the love you and those around you have for you is all that really matters. Joce is an amazing girl and Mark and her will have a wonderful life together (I’m already trying to picture their kids…Aww, so cute 😉 XD )

    “He completes me”…Aww, I’m gonna cry of happiness 😥 ❤ Those pictures were beautiful by the way 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love this comment! You bring up a great point/thoughts about how others may react. Hopefully it will work out! I totally think they could have some cute kids! 😛

      I’m really glad you love this couple so much! I really love them too ^_^


        1. Aw, thank you! I love them all too (but I’m very biased haha) in different ways and for different reasons. I am very much a hopeless romantic like Joce and Clara 😛


        1. This is really random, but have you ever considered making a WordPress account so you get notifications when you get replies? You leave such awesome comments and you are great about checking to see replies, but I was just thinking that it would probably be easier for you? You wouldn’t even have to use the blog you make haha just have an account 😛 It was just a random thought hehe


      1. Hmm…that’s not a bad idea. I usually get an email when someone replies (’cause I tick the ‘Notify me of new comments via email’ box before posting). However if I did, then I could like comments for once 😉 It’s certainly something for me to ponder 😀

        Liked by 1 person

  16. D-awwwww. You complete me. I can say it enough that I love these two together. They’re adorable. Clara is being pretty cool about the whole thing and that’s awesome. They need support like that right now. I hope the family doesn’t flip out to much but I can definitely see Tobi and Lettie losing it the most. Well we shall see won’t we 🙃

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, time will tell! I’m really glad you love them together. They’re a wonderful couple! But your worry about her parents being upset is pretty valid. Hopefully all goes relatively well?

      Liked by 1 person

  17. “I don’t know how else to put it into words, except that he completes me.” It’s so sweet to see her so in love, but this is dangerous territory – Joce, we don’t know what Citizen has in store for you 😭

    My boyfriend is 5.5 years older than I am (I’m almost 20) and luckily I don’t think our age gap is big enough to warrant people mistaking him for my father 😂 In fact we’re both baby-faced, so that probably helps.

    Liked by 1 person

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