Interlude: Figure It Out

“I’m sorry.” Clara whispered for what felt like the thousandth time. “I ruined everything.” She placed her hands on her stomach as she spoke.

Then, the tears returned.

08-28-16_8-55-52 PM

She’d barely even left her bedroom since that terrible night when everything fell apart. Clara didn’t even know what to think anymore. She was angry – so angry. Maybe angrier than she’d ever been in her life. How could Florian call her such awful names? How could he have ever dreamed that she would cheat on him?! Didn’t he know how much she loved him? Didn’t he realize that he was everything to her?

How could he? She kept asking herself.

08-28-16_8-57-12 PM

But then, how could she treat him the way she had? Avoiding him, ignoring him, keeping the babies a secret… “I don’t think I can marry someone who treats me the way you do!”

The memory only made her cry harder.

In fact, her sobbing was so loud that she almost failed to notice the sound of heavy knocking on the apartment door. At first, Clara thought she’d imagined it. But when a second round of knocking reached her ears, she finally allowed herself to rise to her feet.

08-28-16_8-58-26 PM

“Coming!” She called weakly, emerging from her bedroom at last.

Jocelyne was out with Elliot – otherwise, she would have waited for her niece to answer the door. Who could it possibly be? She wondered. They didn’t get many visitors – and most of their friends were the type to just let themselves in unannounced.

At last, she opened the door.

08-28-16_9-01-17 PM 08-28-16_9-01-59 PM

Clara very nearly collapsed at the sight of him. Part of her wanted to throw herself on him, wrap him in her arms, and never let him go ever again. Another part wanted to punch him in the face for how deeply he’d hurt her.

In the end, she did neither – she simply burst into tears. Florian was silent for several long moments, but Clara’s tears did not show any sign of stopping.

08-28-16_9-04-41 PM

“Clara.” Florian’s voice was pained. “I didn’t fly all the way here just to watch you cry.”

“Then why did you, huh? To make sure I’m not with some other guy?” She asked, wiping her eyes. “Or more than one, since I’m apparently such a slut.” Clara threw his horrible words back at him.

“Don’t do this, Clara. Please.” He sighed. “Can’t we figure this out?”

08-28-16_9-07-05 PM

The girl nodded slowly, still overwhelmed by a strange mixture of anger and sorrow. “I guess we can try.” She was already making things worse with her sudden outburst. Nice going, Clara. Without another word, she led him to the couch.

It was still so hard to believe that he was really here, right in front of her. The one person she’d been aching for – longing for – for the past three months. He came all this way… Where had they been? Spain? Portugal? One of the two. It had probably cost a fortune to get a flight on such short notice… And the band had to have scrambled to find a replacement for him for tonight’s gig.

Getting here was probably a nightmare. Yet here he was.

08-28-16_9-09-56 PM

You said you wanted to talk to him in person, didn’t you? Here’s your chance.

She took a deep breath and opened her mouth to speak. But before she could say a word, Florian’s deep, clear voice filled the air.

“Clara, I’m sorry.” His words caught her off guard. “I should never have said all that horrible shit to you.” Florian said seriously. “I know you’d never hurt me like that… I just missed you so damn much, and David and Mia started saying all this bullshit that started getting in my head…” For a moment, he paused, his shame suddenly deepening. “And, uh, not that it’s an excuse, but being drunk off my fucking ass the other night probably didn’t help… But anyway, it wasn’t just that.” He continued. “You were acting all weird and avoiding my calls and… God, I’m sorry. I wish I could take it all back.” Florian held his face in his hands for a moment.

08-28-16_9-16-44 PM

“But what the hell was I supposed to think?!” He burst suddenly. “You were avoiding me like the fucking plague or something! And every time I asked why, you never gave me a straight answer! How was I supposed to know that you’re…” His eyes flicked down toward her small baby bump, and he left the thought unfinished.

“I know.” Clara’s voice was barely above a whisper. “I fucked up so bad. I should never have waited so long to tell you… I was just scared.”

08-28-16_9-18-06 PM

“Of what?! Did you think I’d leave you over something like this?! Jesus, you know I’m not like that, Clara!”

She just looked at him for a moment. Part of her almost wanted to point out the hypocrisy of what he’d just said… But she didn’t. What good would it do? God, we both fucked this up so bad, didn’t we?

“I know you’re not.” Clara replied at last. “I just…” She hesitated. “Florian, we both know how you feel about kids. You’ve never kept it a secret. And I knew you wouldn’t be happy when you found out… But I also knew I wanted to keep these babies. I couldn’t give them away, or…” She couldn’t even bring herself to say the alternative. “I kept telling myself I was too afraid to have that conversation over the phone… But I think I was just too afraid to have it at all.” She confessed. “So I just kept putting it off.”

08-28-16_9-28-12 PM

It was a few moments before he finally replied. “You’re right.” Florian admitted at last. “If you’d told me sooner, I’d probably, um… suggest that you… Not… have them…” He glanced down at her stomach, a look of guilt coming to his face. “I just mean… I really… Don’t want these babies.” He seemed to be struggling to find the right words. “Not yet, I mean. Clara, we aren’t ready for kids yet, are we? Think about all the things we wanted to do. How are we ever gonna do any of that with one baby? Let alone two?!

“I don’t know.” Clara agreed sadly. “But… Maybe it won’t be so bad. I mean, you always talk about all the adventures we’re gonna have together. What better adventure than parenthood?” She smiled softly at him.

Florian appeared thoughtful for a moment. “Maybe.” At last, he spoke. “This is just really fucking scary… I don’t know if I’m ready for this.” He shook his head.

08-28-16_9-27-29 PM

“I know, I’m scared too, but… Excited. I really want this, Florian. I never thought I would, but… I do.” Clara hesitated for a moment before continuing. “What I don’t want is to fuck up your life. Or be a burden to you… All I’ve ever wanted was to make you happy. And I’m sorry if this doesn’t.” The girl bit her lip. “And… I guess… If you really don’t want this, there are still… options.” She felt her stomach drop as the words passed her lips.

“Clara, I’m not gonna force you to do anything you don’t wanna do. And if this is what you want, then…  No matter what, I’m gonna stand by you. And the babies too.” He promised. “I love you. And yeah, maybe I don’t love the idea of being a dad right now, but…” Florian smiled gently at her. “We’ll figure this out… Together.”

08-28-16_9-31-56 PM

For a moment, Clara felt as though she were going to cry again… But not from sorrow. “So… Does that mean you still want to marry me? Even after I kept this from you?” She asked softly.

“Well, that depends.” He replied. “Do you still want to marry me after what I said the other night?” Florian’s face fell slightly as he spoke.

“I do.” Clara promised. “Are you kidding? All I’ve ever wanted was you. You know that.” She shrugged slightly. “I guess we both just kinda fucked up, didn’t we?”

08-28-16_9-33-18 PM

Florian nodded. “Yup, that’s us… A couple of fuck-ups. God, those poor kids have no idea what’s in store for them…” He glanced down at her stomach, laughing softly.

Clara couldn’t help but join in his laughter.

08-28-16_9-34-31 PM

“I love you.” Florian continued. His tone was serious once more. “But I know this whole parenting thing won’t be easy. And… I’m still pretty fucking pissed that you lied to me about this, and kept it a secret for so long.”

His fiancée nodded. “I love you too. But I’m still pissed about what you called me, and that you thought I’d ever cheat on you.” She confessed. “I guess this whole long distance thing brought out the worst in both of us… And, y’know, all these goddamn hormones certainly aren’t helping on my end.” Her lips curled into a small smile.

08-28-16_9-35-55 PM

“We have a lot of shit to work out before we have these kids.” Florian sighed softly. “But… Look, my flight back to Spain leaves in the morning. And then we’ve still got another month and a half before we see each other again…”

The way he looked at her sent a pleasant shiver down her spine.

“So, for the next few hours… Can we just pretend everything’s not fucked up?” He suggested. “No secrets. No accusations. No babies. No drama. Just… us?”

Clara smiled. “Deal.”

08-28-16_9-48-15 PM 08-28-16_9-49-03 PM 08-28-16_9-56-20 PM

Advertisements

66 thoughts on “Interlude: Figure It Out

  1. Yay! Clarian’s getting back on track. That was a lovely reunion, though it wasn’t too sappy, which I liked. You really portrayed that these two do still have to work through some stuff, which was good, because stuff doesn’t get fixed just instantly. Great job!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Also, I think these two will be able to have lots of adventures. If they stop at the twins, when the twins leave for college, then they’d be in their forties at that point. If they keep healthy, they can do lots of things in their forties. Anyway, when kids get old enough you can take them on fun holidays anyway.

      (This is all based on my experience of my parents, who are in their fifties now and are still healthy and travel everywhere, and do still bring me and my sister on a ton of hiking trips and stuff like that)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I was thinking the same thing, actually! 🙂 They might have to do them LATER, but I think a lot of travel and adventures still lie ahead for these two ^_^

        Like

    2. Thank you! I loved writing this one, and I’m glad it’s clear that things aren’t 100% fine now. I definitely did not want people to think that haha. But they got the most important issue worked out — that they’re going to stay together and raise these babies.

      They can work out the little things when he’s home for good… They needed a moment to not worry about things and just enjoy each other before he leaves again!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m very glad that they are back together, even if Is just for some hours…and yeah, Florian, having babies sure is an adventure! And they do have a lot to dicuss before the babies arrive, is not like she is giving birth to a dog, they are going to have to erase this kid for some time, and is nice a ”no-drama” time, as I think they are going to be pretty busy on the next years…(yeah, years! And yes, I’m still, comenting, girl! XD)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad they had this reunion too 🙂 they totally needed it! And they will have plenty of long and serious discussions before the babies are born for sure! But it will definitely be an adventure 😉

      Like

  3. I’m glad you enjoyed this one! It was so emotional for me to write, so I understand the tears!

    It was a real act of love and commitment for him to come to her! 🙂 I’m also glad that it didn’t seem like everything was magically fixed for them, because it most definitely isn’t!

    But I do think they made the two most important decisions — that they will stay together, and that they will have/keep the babies (even though florian is less than thrilled!). It’s what she wants, and I think he recognizes that she’d likely regret it forever if she had to give up the babies. He would never force her to do that. 🙂

    We will eventually hear more about the David and Mia front 😉 Hehe

    Like

  4. Florian is THE man! (and definitely not a Rosebrook LOL 😛 ) I was hoping it was gonna be him on the other side of that door. He took a break and came all this way! 😀 But now he has to go back upstate. Oh well. At least they got things cleared up. I think they’ll be all right now.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. His communication skills definitely set him apart, huh? 😛 I freaking love him, and the fact that he came all that way to work things out. I think they’ll be all right too. ^_^ (and you get 2 points for your Hamilton references today hehe)

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks! ^_^ And yeah, he didn’t wanna sugar-coat it… He really does not feel ready for this, but he will support Clara 🙂 And hopefully fall in love with those babies when he finally sees them ❤

      Like

  5. Aww ❤

    I must say "the adventure of parenthood" made me cringe a little ( so NOT my idea of an adventure 😀 ), but I really like how both of these two are trying to swallow their own pride/hurt feelings for the sake of saving what matters 🙂 That's quite a bit of growth for them (Clara especially!)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahaha well Clara was half-joking with that comment to try to lighten the mood 😛 It wasn’t 100% serious (though, as it’s something new that neither one has experienced, it still does technically fit the definition of adventure 😉 )

      But yes, they both are willing to put aside their issues right now for the sake of saving their relationship and getting ready to parent these kids. And hopefully by the time they are born, Florian will be ready and will love both of them 🙂

      Like

    1. Hahahaha it’s true. I imagine that Clara and Florian are a bit more sexual/have more sex than any other couple in my story. Just the way they are 🙂 (that’s not to say they don’t do other things 😛 It’s just who they are) Though in this case, they hadn’t seen each other for three months! They needed to make up for lost time 😉

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Hehehe I will happy dance right along with you! 😛 And actually in the next chapter we’ll find out what Joce and Elliot were up to! So you only have two wait two days to find out 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I’m so happy Florian decided to take a flight to see Clara as soon as possible. That was a very smart move on his part, and one that they both needed in order to talk through everything they’ve been thinking and going through. I’m so proud with how open they were with each other during their conversation.

    Florain may be hesitant about having kids straight away, but he’ll be smitten by them the first moment he lays eyes on them 😛 They both have so much love for each other and realised that they had both made mistakes. It’s a good start for them before getting married to have such a massive fight and be able to acknowledge their own part they played within it and being able to maybe not completely forget it just yet, but know that they have time to deal with the issues they have while apart and when Florian gets back 🙂 They still have some work to do within they’re relationship, like gaining back some of the trust they’ve lost 🙂

    If they have any issues when dealing with parenthood, they have a lot of loving family around who are great in that department, and also in getting pregnant before being ready 😛 Everything is going to work out wonderfully for them, and this chapter really made my heart melt ❤ Clorian is back in business and Joce can know feel safer at home XD 😛 (Or maybe she'll just keep staying at the library more often for other reasons 😛 )

    Also, I loved the last few pictures. Seeing them makes me KNOW that all will be well in the end, even if it takes some time and patience ❤

    Great chapter Citizen, I was really looking forward to this and you certainly lived up to your wonderful writing skills. I'll admit I may have shed a few tears of happiness 😉 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much, Nessy! I agree with with everything you said about Clara and Florian, and how they handled the situation! There’s still work to be done, but they’ve taken huge steps and really shown that they love each other 🙂

      And I’m glad you liked the ending ^_^ I loved giving them that nice, hopeful end. Things are gonna be ok 🙂

      Thanks so much for reading!

      Like

  7. You’re going to be a GREAT dad, Florian. I know you don’t feel ready for it, but you’re going to have a blast playing with them and taking them all the places. Just cuz you have kids doesn’t mean you have to give up on life or fun or anything. Lots of parents take their kids cool places. I know it’s all scary to you now, but be brave. It’ll be okay and you’re going love them to death…err..love them a lot.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Florian appreciates your confidence 🙂 I’m sure the moment he sets his eyes on them, he’ll be in love! ^_^ And yes, they can totally take those kids on some adventures 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Daww they’re so cute 🙂 I really like the way you did this chapter. You’re so good at portraying distinct personalities and emotions. It makes it fun to read 😀

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s