4.19: Only One Way

Well, I did what Lena asked me to.

I kept an eye on Clara. Or an ear, I guess.

And it was so much worse than I thought it would be.

I heard her crying this morning… again. I was on my way to the bathroom when it happened. No one else was awake yet – and I assumed Clara would still be sleeping too, but I could hear it through her door, clear as day.

Normally I’d just ignore it, but I couldn’t stop thinking about what Lena said to me. So I knocked.

And then when she didn’t answer, I just sort of let myself in.

I found her lying on her bed, crying into her pillow. And I knew something had to be very wrong.

I mean, no matter how much she loves to pretend she isn’t, Clara’s a teenager, just like me. And I guess I have to admit that we can get a little emotional sometimes – usually over really silly things.

But this was different. I could tell.

And you know what else? She didn’t even yell at me when she saw me. She didn’t even look angry! If that’s not a red flag, I don’t know what is.

So I sat down next to her, and asked what was wrong.

And then she said it: “Jocelyne, I think I might be pregnant.”

It’s so cliché, but I seriously couldn’t even believe what she was telling me. I really felt like I was gonna be sick when I realized what she was saying – And I still do.

I mean first off, that implies that she and this Julian guy… Oh God, I don’t even wanna write it!

And then I just think about what maman told me a couple years ago, when she sat me down and gave me “the talk”. It was absolutely mortifying, but I really took what she said to heart. She told me how much she and Papa love Luc and I, of course. But she was really honest about how difficult it was having us so early, and so unexpectedly too.

I just can’t imagine that happening to Clara. All I can do right now is hope and pray that she’s wrong.

But there’s only one way to know for sure.

Anyway, I managed to calm her down, and I ended up promising I’d help her. So now I’m sitting here in my bedroom, basically hiding until the house starts to clear out.

Oma and Opa are leaving for work soon, Papa’s got a game, and Luc’s heading to Florian’s apartment to practice. That just leaves maman, Gus, and bis-vovó to worry about.

Sneaking out should be easy enough. We can even come up with an excuse, if we have to. And then it’s only a fifteen minute walk to the drugstore.

The hard part will be sneaking back with the test, and getting Clara into the bathroom without anyone noticing…

I just really hope we –