4.18: Overwhelmed

Oh gosh, I don’t even know where to start.

I feel so overwhelmed right now. Exhausted, excited, disappointed, confused… all at once.

I guess I should take things one at a time right now.

07-09-16_6-47-36 PM

So let’s start with exhausted – It’s almost midnight, and I’ve been up since 5 o’clock this morning. Part of me wishes I could be in bed right now – I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow too.

Mei only dropped me off about half an hour ago anyway, but I decided to stay up and wait for everyone to get home. It’s kinda weird being the only one in my house… There are so many people in my family that there’s usually someone around. Come to think of it, this might be the first time I’ve actually been home all alone before. Kinda weird, right? But kinda nice too. I like the quiet. It’s peaceful… but also makes sleep even more tempting!

07-09-16_6-51-47 PM

Thankfully my excitement is helping to counteract the exhaustion a little bit. That’s making it easier to stay up.

And the reason for the excitement (in case you’ve forgotten) is that tonight was opening night of the play! I was so terrified about things going wrong, but everything came together perfectly. I should have known they would – they always do. Mei and I did awesome. We all did, really.

07-09-16_5-30-43 PM

I think the best part was during the curtain call – I got a standing ovation! That was the first time it’s ever happened to me. It was the best feeling in the world. Seriously.

07-09-16_6-09-00 PM 07-09-16_6-11-41 PM

Sounds pretty awesome, right? Because it was. It really was. But things would be way too easy if that was all there is to it. And it’s not. Of course it isn’t.

This is where the disappointment comes in.

Tonight was Luc’s band’s first gig. A real gig. In front of a real audience. On a real stage. At a real venue (a small one, obviously. But still). This is HUGE for them. And of course my family wanted to be there to support him.

But why did it have to be tonight? Why couldn’t it be any other weekend but this one?

07-09-16_6-48-53 PM

I was the only one in the whole cast who had no one in the audience tonight. Well, no one but Joel. But that’s not the same. It made me so upset that none of my family could go. I felt so jealous of my Bruder… And I know I shouldn’t be. I still have two performances left anyway.

But I guess it kind of feels like they picked him over me, just like they always do. No matter how wrong I tell myself it is to feel that way, I just can’t help it.

I was lonely, knowing my whole family was off somewhere on the other side of the city without me. It just doesn’t seem fair.

07-09-16_6-24-30 PM

Now, I guess there was one person besides Joel who showed up for me tonight. But definitely not in the way I was expecting.

Time for the confusion – Lena showed up backstage when the show was over. Yes, THAT Lena. Weird, right?

07-09-16_6-33-28 PM

When I asked her what she was doing there, she looked more serious than I think I’ve ever seen her in my life. Then she told me she was there because she had an important favor to ask me. One she had to ask me in private.

I’ll never forget the look in her eyes when she said it: “I’m worried about Clara. Please… Keep an eye on her for me.”

07-09-16_6-34-26 PM

I wasn’t sure what else to do, so I said I would.

And then that was it. She just nodded and walked away.

07-09-16_6-36-14 PM

I’m still not quite sure what to make of it. Clara told me Lena knew all about this boyfriend, and that she was okay with it. Why the sudden change of heart? Or could it be something else? I’m not really sure. But I know I’m not about to ask Clara about it. I’ve made that mistake before.

So I guess all I can do is what Lena asked – keep an eye out and see what happens.

07-09-16_6-49-22 PM

But for now, I’m gonna try not to think about it too much. I still have the matinee and our final performance to worry about tomorrow (and my parents promised they’d go to BOTH to make up for tonight, so I guess that’s good). I’m trying as hard as I can to stay positive right now about this whole thing.

I guess I’m still just frustrated in general, and not just about tonight – everything that’s been going on in my family these past couple months. And now to make things worse, I’m even more worried than ever about Clara.

I’ve been doing such a good job staying out of all the drama lately.

But I have a feeling it won’t last much longer.

07-09-16_6-50-42 PM

——————————-

Thank you to the fabulous ra3rei for her stage/dressing room build! (It’s part of her amazing High School build that you can find on the gallery under her username!)

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51 Responses to 4.18: Overwhelmed

  1. sonniejj says:

    Poor poor Joce 😦 my heart broke a little bit when she said she didn’t have anyone in the audience. I understand why they did it, but still, I feel so bad for her.

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Yeah, it’s a tough situation. 😦 This is a once-in-a-lifetime thing for Lucas, and Jocelyne still has two more performances they can go to. So the choice made sense… But it still really hurt her, especially since she kinda feels like he and Clara walk all over her anyway. So she took it more personally than she should have

      But it sure would suck to have no one in the audience when everyone else does 😦 I totally feel for her.

      Like

  2. Senna says:

    Poor dear. 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  3. audreyfld says:

    So much drama in the Rosebrook household. Seems like Luc is pretty much the only drama free one for now. How long will that last I wonder. 😛

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Jes2G says:

    That’s really crummy of her parents. One of them should have gone with her and the other should have gone with him. Yeah yeah, I get it was a huge deal for him, but parents shouldn’t choose sides…although that happens every single day!

    Liked by 2 people

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Well, in their defense, I think their decision was logical. His first ever gig is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. She had two additional performances of the play they could attend (and will attend!). If one went to the play and one went to his gig, that parent would be 100% missing out on that huge moment for Lucas (and Lucas would miss out on both parents being there for his first ever show).

      Joce misses out on having them there opening night, but still gets them TWICE. So I understand why they did what they did. That doesn’t mean it wasn’t disappointing for Jocelyne, of course. But I would probably have done the same if these were my kids!

      When I was in school I did theater, and even though we would do 2-3 shows, my parents usually only came to one. But I didn’t have a twin to compete with, or have Joce’s “my parents always pick my brother over me” complex, so it didn’t bother me much haha

      Liked by 1 person

      • Jes2G says:

        Just because it was logical doesn’t make it right. As a child whose parents barely went to my performances, I’m 100% with Jocelyn on this one. I mean, I get their decision, but Jocelyn totally has a right to be upset and think her parents decision was crummy. And so do I 😉

        Liked by 1 person

        • CitizenErased14 says:

          Lmao see my response to Joie below 😛 Not that it will help sway you at all haha

          Liked by 1 person

          • Jes2G says:

            There is nothing you can say that will swing me to your side LOL

            Like

          • Jes2G says:

            My response to your response: parents should be making the sacrifices not their children. It not being fair to the parents (in my mind) shows they’re only thinking about themselves and not the child.

            Like

            • CitizenErased14 says:

              Oh I wasn’t thinking about Tobi and Colette! I was thinking about Luc in that case. He’d be missing out on a parent AND his sister being there. I think that’s more unfair than the entire family seeing Jocelyne’s play (some more than once) while he misses out on having people there.

              I already think Luc gets the short end of the stick here by having Joce not go haha

              Liked by 1 person

              • Jes2G says:

                It’s already a crummy situation, and life isn’t fair. I know that cuts both ways. But, you know…everyone should learn to share LOL. You know me and my tough love lol. “It’s not fair” doesn’t go too far with me. It’s not fair to Lucas that Jocelyn wants the family with her, and it’s not fair to Jocelyn that Lucas wants them with him. Everyone loses, so it’s more about damage control at this point. How can the one who is going to lose more sorely be not as salty? Someone has to be willing to make the hard choice and go see the girl’s play. But…you know, I too am bias from my own experiences.

                Liked by 2 people

    • JoieWilder says:

      I totally agree. Whoever went to Luc’s concert could’ve taken pictures or filmed it. Sure, Joce has more performances, but she’s only got one opening night. At least Jade could’ve gone to see her play.

      Liked by 2 people

      • CitizenErased14 says:

        Hahaha I am truly in the minority here XD Again, probably because I am biased by my own personal experience.

        I still say what they did was right. If one parent missed out on Luc’s gig, how would that be fair to him? His twin sister already had to miss it, so he already has one family member who couldn’t go. Without Tobi or Colette, he’d be down two.

        Everyone gets to see Joce — some of them twice!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Jes2G says:

        Exactly! I mean, the WHOLE house went to the concert? Not one person couldn’t support her? LAME! I don’t care how they try to explain it. That stuff matters to child.

        Liked by 2 people

  5. If Lena is coming to Joce for help, then Clara is really in a bad way. Poor Joce though for having no one in the audience.

    If it were my family, we would’ve solved it differently. Most of the family would’ve gone to Luc’s gig, all except one parent. That parent would’ve gone to Joce’s opening night. The other parent would’ve recorded Luc’s gig. The parent that went to Joce’s play would take Luc out for a special afternoon while the parent that attended Luc’s gig went to the matinee of the play. Then the rest of the family, including Luc would go to the final performance of the play. And the parent who went to the opening night of Joce’s play would sit with Joce and watch the entire video of Luc’s gig.

    any chance you followed all of that, lol? That’s just how my family is. You should hear us order water at restaurants. “Water with lemon please” “I’ll take mine with lemon but no ice” “I’d like no ice no lemon” “I’d like extra ice in the glass and lemon on the side” SMH

    Liked by 3 people

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Hahaha that’s an interesting way of handling things! I did follow 😛

      And yeah, Lena is seriously worried if she’s resorted to talking to Joce haha we’ll see what happens from here…

      Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Oh, and not that it will sway you haha but I did throw out one more piece of reasoning for why this way was most fair in response to JoieWilder (a few comments above yours I think!)

      Liked by 1 person

  6. julyvee94 says:

    Great chapter! And omg huge appreciation for that standing Ovation screenshot it must have been super hard! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Spottydog714 says:

    I would have come, Joce, if I could jump through the screen… 😉

    No, seriously, Lena is such a good friend. Clara is lucky to have her.

    *hugs Joce* That must be so disappointing and upsetting although at least you performed. I was ill when the performance happened I wazs in 1/3 performances and when I did, Fat Stan (Fat Sam’s twin if you know the original Bugsy Malone) had a runny nose :p ! I’m #TeamOptimistic today.

    That clapping screenshot must have taken so long to set up! I admire your dedication to the pictures in this story. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  8. kaffepigen says:

    For a moment there I thought Lena would come clean to Joce about Clara and her boyfriend. Hmm but maybe she thought that would be to misuse her trust. But I still think that would have helped Clara a great deal more in the long run. I feel sad for Joce about her parents favoring Luc all the time, but still, her play is for 3 days, his performace is only one right. But I do understand how it is to feel overlooked and overshadowed by your brother. Right now she needs to look at the positive side of things to not go crazy 😛

    Liked by 2 people

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Yeah, I think Lena didn’t tell the WHOLE truth because of exactly what you said — not wanting to break trust. But she did take a small step toward doing the right thing!

      And yeah, I feel bad for Joce too, since she is feeling really disappointed and taking this very personally. But like you said, her family has two more chances to see her, only one to see Luc (plus he’s already missing out on having Joce there 😦 She will have her entire family there for her play the next day! So I feel like Luc is already getting the short end of the stick compared to Jocelyne haha)

      Liked by 1 person

      • kaffepigen says:

        I completely agree. K think they did the right thing. I don’t have a twin brother or sister either but i do have 4 older brothers i’ve sometimes had to compete with in different surcumstances.

        Liked by 1 person

  9. Tizy says:

    Aweee poor joce!
    I can relate to her!

    Anyway Jocelyn you need to grow a pair and help your tante fixing this mess.
    Because it’s proven we can’t count on Toby or on mari/Jonas

    Do we need to call Stefan back home???

    Like

  10. NessyRosy says:

    Joce looked gorgeous in her outfit for the play. I love those pictures so much, it would’ve taken quite some time to take them ❤ I feel for her not having anyone there for her at the play, I want to give her a big hug. Fingers crossed the family make it to her final performance without TOO much drama 😉

    I'm glad that Lena said something, but she really should have gone to Mari or Jonas. However, I can understand her not wanting to betray her friend and also probably not knowing, or having, the right words to say. Joce must be so confused, exhausted and down at the moment with all the stuff around her. I know I'd feel very drained if I was her. It's a shame that Lena was too cryptic in her concern, but hopefully Joce will be able to find out and let someone know. She is such a caring sim…ahem…I mean individual 😛

    Liked by 1 person

  11. maladi777 says:

    I think I’m really starting to like Lena. Really really. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  12. azzywoods says:

    Awww…I get why they skipped, but I still feel bad. And I’m glad that Lena said SOMETHING…

    Liked by 2 people

  13. theplumbob says:

    Aww poor Joce! I’m gonna jump on the bandwagon here and say that the family definitely should have split up, some fo them going to Luc’s gig and some of them to Joce’s play. Sure, Joce will have multiple performances, but by that logic, Luc will probably have other concerts in the future too, won’t he? Only one of them is the first time.

    I get that Luc’s gig is a proper one, whereas Joce’s is just a school play, but it’s not like you can really compare the two. The thing is, the way the family handled the situation is diminishing Joce’s achievement.

    This may seem like a silly example, but growing up, I always had really good grades. So did my cousin, who is 3 years younger, but every year, when we got our final report cards, the family overlooked his success because I’d already done it. Got straight As? No big deal, you cousin had straight As last year too! (It seems like a silly thing. But my cousin hasn’t spoken to me in 10 years.)

    What I’m get at is that you shouldn’t make your child feel like their accomplishment doesn’t matter in comparison to their siblings, which is definitely what they did here. The opening performance is way more important than the following two, because that’s when Joce would have been most nervous and needed most support. Saying that Luc’s performance was a once-in-a-lifetime experience doesn’t mean Joce’s wasn’t. It’s like comparing apples and oranges.

    Oops. Didn’t mean to write a book here 😀

    Liked by 3 people

  14. silentwolfy101 says:

    Hehe, going on the bandwagon, it wasn’t fair to all go to the same performance — some should have gone to Joce’s performace. 😦 But, at least she had all of us here! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  15. lisabeesims says:

    My heart is sad for Joce .. the family could have divided and conquered .. someone there for each 😦 (I do love Rae’s venue too)

    Like

  16. CitizenErased14 says:

    Hahahaha yours is a very common opinion, so no worries! My personal (and very unpopular) opinion is that it’s actually more unfair to Luc, in the end (even the way things are now!) as Joce’s entire family (including Luc) get to see her play (just not the opening show). Lucas already is missing out on his twin being there… Missing out on his sister AND a parent seems sad and unfair to me haha. I am not a parent either, so maybe I don’t get it (I also did theater at school and my parents never went to every performance and it never bothered me. But I’m not Joce! :P)

    Like

  17. Bethan says:

    So much love for all the kids! Each going through their struggles – I really hope it works out for them, especially Clara – what happened to her is so devastating, and I hope she gets the help she needs and comes to realise what that guy did to her; really glad she has Lena there for her. 😦 On a lighter note, totally shipping Lena and Joce rn. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Hahahaha now THAT is a unique ship 😛 I’m so glad you’re rooting for all the kids right now… Tough times all around :-/ Thanks for reading!

      Like

  18. aww por joce i loved te stage and dressing room

    Liked by 1 person

  19. theceltygirly says:

    Nobody at opening night! That’s actually a really sad thing when that happens. I’ve been in a handful of shows, and it’s disappointing when nobody is there for opening night, especially when it’s your first big lead! I mean they’re going eventually, but that is always really disappointing. Especially since she always feels last. Third wheel to friends, third wheel to Luc and Clara. Never in the spotlight, but still a star.

    Liked by 1 person

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