4.15: Sick

I never thought I’d say this, but I am really sick of being in this house right now. And to be completely honest, I’m getting sick of my family too.

Not all of them, of course. I mean, Gus is just as adorable as always, my Oma and Opa are fine, and my bis-vovó too. They’re the ones I can deal with right now.

But other than that… There’s just so much drama right now. It’s really starting to get to me.

I guess out of everyone, Luc isn’t so bad. He’s just so obsessed with his band, as always. But even they have drama right now. There was some kind of big fight and they ended up kicking their drummer out. Now they’re scrambling to find a new one before their gig next week.

I’ve tried talking to my Bruder a few times about the whole Clara situation, but he just won’t listen. “You already talked to Papa about it,” he keeps saying, “what else can you do?”

The answer is… I have no idea.

But I’m getting worried.

Clara’s still sneaking off to see this Julian guy. That’s bad enough. But the past couple days, she’s been acting even weirder than usual. Hiding away in her room even more than she used to, if you can believe it. Super defensive about EVERYTHING. Way meaner than she usually is.

I feel like if I even look at her the wrong way, she’s gonna flip out at me.

And I’m pretty sure I heard her crying in her room last night.

Even my Oma and Opa have noticed something’s up, but whenever they try, she won’t talk to them. Typical Clara.

And it’s not like I can tell them what I know… I mean, I don’t even know for sure if this has anything to do with that creepy boyfriend of hers. And I don’t think she’d ever forgive me if I told her Mama and Papa about him. It was bad enough that I told MY Papa. Clara definitely didn’t like that.

And speaking of Papa… I’m still so surprised he didn’t do anything about it. It just doesn’t make any sense. How can he let her do this?!

All he told me was that he talked to her. And when I asked him what we were going to do about it, he said “Nothing. Clara’s fine. Let it be.”

I almost couldn’t believe he was serious about this. But I guess he is… Because he never brought it up again.

Part of me really wants to tell him that I’m worried about Clara again, but he’s barely even around anymore for me to talk to. I guess it isn’t a huge surprise – Papa’s always been kind of obsessed with his job, for almost as long as I can remember. But I think this is different.

He goes out with his teammates all the time after practice. And I’m not a little kid anymore – I know exactly what “going out” means. Drinking. Which isn’t exactly like my Papa. I mean sure, every adult likes going to a bar every now and then, don’t they? But he’s been going a few times a week for a while now. Plus he’s got all his practices and games (and sometimes he even has to travel for those)… We barely see him anymore.

And when he is around, things with maman seem like they’re worse than ever. It’s like they don’t even look at each other anymore. It’s been really weird between them for a while, but this is worse than I’ve ever seen it. And I’m kind of scared… I mean, what if they get a divorce or something?

I’ve tried talking to maman about it, and she keeps promising me everything’s fine. And I’ve overheard Oma and bis-vovó trying to talk to her too, and she tells them the exact same thing she tells me.

But you know what?

She’s a really bad liar.

I just hate having to deal with all this stress and drama. I’m supposed to be focusing on the play right now. I should be having fun with my friends. But instead, I’m just worrying all the time about my family and all their stupid problems.

Like I said way back when I first started this journal, I’m probably one of the most boring people you could ever meet.

I gust I just wish the rest of my family could be boring too.