4.15: Sick

I never thought I’d say this, but I am really sick of being in this house right now. And to be completely honest, I’m getting sick of my family too.

Not all of them, of course. I mean, Gus is just as adorable as always, my Oma and Opa are fine, and my bis-vovó too. They’re the ones I can deal with right now.

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But other than that… There’s just so much drama right now. It’s really starting to get to me.

I guess out of everyone, Luc isn’t so bad. He’s just so obsessed with his band, as always. But even they have drama right now. There was some kind of big fight and they ended up kicking their drummer out. Now they’re scrambling to find a new one before their gig next week.

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I’ve tried talking to my Bruder a few times about the whole Clara situation, but he just won’t listen. “You already talked to Papa about it,” he keeps saying, “what else can you do?”

The answer is… I have no idea.

But I’m getting worried.

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Clara’s still sneaking off to see this Julian guy. That’s bad enough. But the past couple days, she’s been acting even weirder than usual. Hiding away in her room even more than she used to, if you can believe it. Super defensive about EVERYTHING. Way meaner than she usually is.

I feel like if I even look at her the wrong way, she’s gonna flip out at me.

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And I’m pretty sure I heard her crying in her room last night.

Even my Oma and Opa have noticed something’s up, but whenever they try, she won’t talk to them. Typical Clara.

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And it’s not like I can tell them what I know… I mean, I don’t even know for sure if this has anything to do with that creepy boyfriend of hers. And I don’t think she’d ever forgive me if I told her Mama and Papa about him. It was bad enough that I told MY Papa. Clara definitely didn’t like that.

And speaking of Papa… I’m still so surprised he didn’t do anything about it. It just doesn’t make any sense. How can he let her do this?!

All he told me was that he talked to her. And when I asked him what we were going to do about it, he said “Nothing. Clara’s fine. Let it be.”

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I almost couldn’t believe he was serious about this. But I guess he is… Because he never brought it up again.

Part of me really wants to tell him that I’m worried about Clara again, but he’s barely even around anymore for me to talk to. I guess it isn’t a huge surprise – Papa’s always been kind of obsessed with his job, for almost as long as I can remember. But I think this is different.

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He goes out with his teammates all the time after practice. And I’m not a little kid anymore – I know exactly what “going out” means. Drinking. Which isn’t exactly like my Papa. I mean sure, every adult likes going to a bar every now and then, don’t they? But he’s been going a few times a week for a while now. Plus he’s got all his practices and games (and sometimes he even has to travel for those)… We barely see him anymore.

And when he is around, things with maman seem like they’re worse than ever. It’s like they don’t even look at each other anymore. It’s been really weird between them for a while, but this is worse than I’ve ever seen it. And I’m kind of scared… I mean, what if they get a divorce or something?

07-07-16_5-30-55 PM

I’ve tried talking to maman about it, and she keeps promising me everything’s fine. And I’ve overheard Oma and bis-vovó trying to talk to her too, and she tells them the exact same thing she tells me.

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But you know what?

She’s a really bad liar.

I just hate having to deal with all this stress and drama. I’m supposed to be focusing on the play right now. I should be having fun with my friends. But instead, I’m just worrying all the time about my family and all their stupid problems.

07-07-16_3-31-47 PM

Like I said way back when I first started this journal, I’m probably one of the most boring people you could ever meet.

I gust I just wish the rest of my family could be boring too.

07-07-16_3-46-52 PM


48 thoughts on “4.15: Sick

  1. Colette sounds like she’s in denial.

    Almost like she has a feeling something’s going on with Tobi, but she’s choosing to ignore it.

    Yeah, sounds like there may be a divorce on the horizon. 😦


    1. Joce gratefully accepts your hug haha she could use one right now! (Actually, the whole family could, really. Group hug? Haha)


  2. Aw Jocelyne is taking this hard. I feel kinda bad for her. She’s only, what, 16? She shouldn’t be worrying about her parents. It should be the other way around.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I feel bad for Jocelyne. It sucks seeing so many problems and not having the slightest idea how to fix them. Almost this whole family is a mess.

    Maaannn! I wish I could hear Mari’s thoughts on the mess her family is getting themselves into. I wonder how she’d feel about watching Clara appear to repeat some of her mistakes.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahaha yeah, I took Mari’s POV away right when the juicy stuff was going on! XD I imagine she spends a lot of her free time worrying about Tobi and Colette. I picture lots of journals that are more or less panicked ramblings wondering what to do. As we’ve seen in this chapter, she’s tried talking to Colette (and I imagine Jonas has tried talking to Tobi “off-screen” too) and they just keep saying “it’s fine”. So if they aren’t willing to talk about it, there really isn’t anything anyone can do to help, unfortunately :-/

      As for Clara, she and Jonas are definitely concerned about her too — especially this new moodiness and crying. Of course, since Clara is a hormonal teenage girl, I don’t think there are any huge alarms sounding for Mari just yet. But she’s probably keeping a bit of a closer eye on Clara than usual (meaning Clara has to be extra sneaky to get away to see Julian!)

      Sorry I wrote so much haha I just thought I’d give you a bit of an insight on what we don’t get to see with Mari right now 🙂 (As for if Mari actually knew what was going on… who knows? It could go many directions, I think haha)

      Thanks for reading and commenting, Cece!

      Liked by 1 person

    1. It means great-grandmother in Portuguese. Everyone in the family still calls Jade by Portuguese family terms (just like how Joce calls Colette “maman” instead of “Mama” 🙂 )


  4. Clara crying? I can’t help but wonder what the heck is that about? And poor Jocelyn, no one to talk to and knowing that things are all messed up. And Tobi! Ugh. I hope things with Anna will stop very soon! I love him, but he is hurting his family and I really hope I don’t have to change my mind about him cause he is so sexy. I am so trying to have faith he will get his crap together and fix his mess before it’s too late. Maybe that is what is upsetting Clara, she hoped he would stop seeing Anna but hasn’t. Or perhaps her little secret is starting to pressure her for more than she is willing to give. I feel like Jocelyn… *sigh*

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ooh yay, you’re the first one to mention Clara crying 😛 We’ll know more about that in a few days 😉 And yeah, it’s like Tobi is digging himself deeper and deeper into a hole. If he doesn’t start climbing his way out soon, it might be too late! :-/


    1. At first I thought Juliwn might’ve dumped her, but then Citizen mentioned something in the comments about Clara sneaking out to see him, so this was the first thing to pop in my head as well… Hmmm….

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Aww… Joce *hugs* You’re not boring. You’re calm and the voice of reason around here. You’re actually the one Rosebrook I can talk to without becoming exasperated. That’s a good thing, believe me.

    Can we have a Gus chapter please? Just a little one. XD

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I feel bad for Joce. She wants to be a carefree kid but she can’t bc of her family’s drama. Clara’s extra moody? Clara’s CRYING? I really hope she’s not pregnant. The better thing would be a scenario where he pressured her to do something she doesn’t want to do, so they broke up. Tobi REALLY? I am not happy with him. He knows this thing w/ Anna is wrong, or he wouldn’t be prioritising keeping it a secret over sorting out Clara’s situation.

    I really think Joce is the most reasonable of them all. But she HAS to get into drama soon… it’s A2A!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I feel bad for her too… She’s getting all caught up in this drama! (She will have her own in good time. Don’t worry hehe :P) And we’ll find out soon what’s happening with Clara, I promise.

      And yeah… Tobi’s still being super dumb haha.


  7. Poor Jocelyn. You tried to help Clara and you can’t affect to your parents situation. Oh no. It sounds like Tobi is seeing Anna even more than before! And I really hope that Clara isn’t pregnant.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Long time no see! Hi Hemera! 😀 And yeah, things are really bad in general for the whole family right now. Poor Jocelyne , caught in the middle of it all! 😦


  8. Oh Joce, I too wish every family could be as boring as you and me. Just read books? Outside and get away from it all. I could recommend a few thousand?

    That being said – it feels like we are nearing a tipping point – things are starting to get too stressful for all involved to continue this way without breaking soon. I just hope it breaks out okay. #teamOptimism … hopes!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Awwwwwwww, poor Josie. I’d say go out and look for some trouble, but that won’t help with anything. 😦 I just hope that the truth about everything is revealed here soon. 😦

    Sometimes, I just want to take a knife and cut them open and let the truth pour out of all of them, so they can see exactly what’s going on. That would make life so much easier…

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I’m waiting for Tobi’s good trait to come and kick in!! I mean going out with friends more and more!? That better not mean he’s still “with” Anna!
    Even tho I’m repeating some questions above (I always arrive late..time difference ughh), Clara crying!? Never thought I’d hear those two words together! 😜
    We need more Auggy in this family 😔…
    Good chapter and of course love the shots (especially the one where all the kids r doing their homework 💗).

    Liked by 2 people

    1. The good trait is still there… Somewhere 😛 I promise! Haha We’ll find out tomorrow what’s going on with Tobi! And yes, crying Clara! 😮

      And I promise more Auggy will come when he’s a teen hehehe. And I’m glad you liked my screenshots 😀


  11. Jocelyn remember me for some reason Lisa simpson, like, she is more calm and don’t have as many problems as most of her family, I hope her family don’t “forgot” about her, because it’s the classic thing, Clara is rebel so they will look for her more, and Luc has has band thing, while Jocelyn is “good” and the parents and family don’t need to watch the “good” kid, because they know it will not do anything wrong…but if this continues, sometime, she will explode, making more damage even then Clara…
    (First coment! (≧◡≦) )

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ahh! Hi! I’m so excited to see a new commenter 😀 Thanks for reading my story!

      I totally get the Lisa comparison hahaha She’s the “good”/”boring” kid, so she could definitely be easily overlooked by her family, which wouldn’t be good… :-/

      There’s still a lot of this gen left, so anything could happen!

      Thanks again for reading and commenting 😀


  12. Joce is very perceptive. It’s a shame she can’t gather everyone around and just tell them how she truly feels 😦 That wouldn’t go very well in this family 😛

    I had a feeling Toby would tell her to not worry about Clara’s situation. Hmm..that’s certainly suspicious. I hope things work out… *fingers crossed*

    Question: Florian was the drummer, right? So Luc kicked him out of the band just because his mate was worried about the guy Clara is dating? If that’s the case, why? Luc should be just as concerned!

    Great chapter. I want to give everyone a bug hug *hugs everyone*

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Florian was the keyboard player, no worries! He’s still in the band! ^_^ And everyone would totally appreciate your hug right now haha they need it 😦


  13. Jocelyne has a good heart, just wanting to do what’s right for everyone else. Take some time to make yourself happy too 🙂
    And, Clara, she just has some issues that she refuses to acknowledge and work with. All of this misguided anger and rebellion.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. So true about Jocelyne! She’s always so worried about everyone else.

      And Clara definitely has some anger and rebellion issues!


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