4.6: Train Wreck

clarabanner

Alright guys, time to mix things up a little.

So my nephew Lucas’ band FINALLY lined up their first “gig” the other night (you’ll understand the reason for the quotes in a minute), and I kinda promised him I’d write a review on my blog…

I know, I know. I’m way too nice. But with one brother halfway across the world and the other always treating me like I’m his freaking kid instead of his sister, my niece and nephews are basically the closest things to siblings I have. Might as well throw ‘em a bone from time to time, right?

So Lucas, this one’s for you (brace yourself, buddy).

Now, I’ve gotta admit. I was pretty damn skeptical going into this whole thing. Sure, Lucas is pretty decent with a guitar, and my mom taught Florian everything he knows, so obviously he’s good too. But playing on their own is one thing. Could they really pull off this whole “band” thing? (Spoiler alert: No).

I didn’t wanna show up there on my own like some social reject, so I promised Lena I’d binge-watch those god awful Lord of the Rings movies with her again (ugh) if she’d let me drag her along. Of course she said yes. (Take notes, kids. Bribery always works.)

06-22-16_10-54-07 PM

Smiling through the pain

Jocelyne came too, but her friends were off on some date night or something and couldn’t make it, so she just tagged along with me and Lena (oh joy). My brother and sister-in-law really wanted to go, but Lucas wouldn’t let him. (Smart move. It’s bad enough embarrassing yourself in front of your aunt and sister. No need to subject your parents to that kind of torture too.)

So the three of us headed downtown to Lucas’ first “gig”…

In the corner of a coffee shop…

At 7pm on a Tuesday night.

Oh yeah, it was just as horrible as it sounds.

The auditory slaughter begins

The auditory slaughter begins

So first off, their singer was TOTALLY scared shitless, and he sure sucked at hiding that fact from the rest of us. Seriously? There were, what? Six, maybe seven people in the crowd? And he choked that easily? Time to grow a pair, dude.

And he wasn’t the only disaster. The drummer sounded like he was rushing through the whole thing… Did no one ever teach this guy to count? It was basically a train wreck. Though I wonder if maybe part of the problem was he couldn’t hear. I don’t know if the café messed with their speaker system or what, but you could barely hear Lucas or Florian… and they would have probably been the only good part of that shit-show!

Our only hope

Our only hope

So yeah. They played about five songs before they finally put us all out of our misery and gave up. I’m pretty sure that polite applause at the end was out of gratitude for ending our suffering more than anything else.

Cute, Lena. Cute.

Cute, Lena. Cute.

Now, with all that being said… The night didn’t completely suck. I at least managed to find some people to talk to (besides Lena) who weren’t 100% lame. That’s something, right?

And you know what? So what if Lucas’ band totally blows right now? Everyone has to start somewhere, don’t they? The talent’s there. That much I’ll admit. They’ve just gotta get their shit together.

So if you ever find yourself with the opportunity to check out an Epileptic Lullaby gig (oh God, that name), I say go for it.

Then maybe someday when these guys are selling out Windenburg Stadium you’ll be able to say you saw them way back when they sucked ass.

Or, y’know, when they fade away into obscurity you can proudly say you witnessed the horrible downward spiral firsthand.

Hopefully it’s the first option.

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52 Responses to 4.6: Train Wreck

  1. julyvee94 says:

    LOL! I love Clara’s blog, her voice is amazing. Poor Lucas though.
    (spoiler alert: no) lmao that cracked me up most

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Thank you! Clara is most definitely the most fun voice I’ve written yet in this legacy haha. And yeah, Lucas’ first gig wasn’t exactly great… But hopefully it’s just the beginning and great things will come? Haha

      Liked by 1 person

  2. audreyfld says:

    Well, she pulls no punches! Gotta love her. I know we will all look forward to her blog. Very entertaining.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. kaffepigen says:

    I would totally get stage fright too just by that number haha ×) it’s too bad they didn’t do well. But they are just starting out. I bet they just gotta get used to other people listening to them.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Jes2G says:

    LOL

    (Spoiler alert: No) Hilarious. And that name? Man, that IS terrible! I’m having an episode just thinking about it! 😛 So much for throwing him a bone. Geez! That was fun though.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Simslover163 says:

    I’m so #TeamClara! Her voice is just so fantastic!

    Poor Lucas! It’s sad that his band didn’t get off to a good start! (spoiler alert: no) had me laughing! xD I hope his band will do better! Question: Are we ever going to hear his POV?

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Thank you! I love writing Clara’s blog haha.

      As for Lucas’ POV, we won’t ever hear from him directly, but there will be a few interludes this generation from his point of view, so we will be inside his head a bit, but in third-person 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  6. azzywoods says:

    Poor Lucas and band. Everyone’s gotta start somewhere though. I really enjoy Clara’s voice.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Well failures always come before success: JK Rowling, “Maud” author Of Green gables, Walt Disney, the Beatles. Do I have to say more?

    Liked by 1 person

  8. NessyRosy says:

    LMAO! I love reading Clara’s Blog – it’s always so refreshing and straight up. I wonder how Lucas would feel about it, although I’m guessing she’s the type who said everything in the blog straight to his face 😉 You can see the love she has for him though ❤ She just doesn't have much faith (putting it mildly) in his other band mates, unless they get some serious training XD I also adored Lena's pose on the last screenshot – it had me LOL!

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Thanks!!! 😀 Yeah, Clara has faith in Lucas and Florian’s abilities… Everyone else, not so much 😛 Something tells me Lucas was not thrilled with this review, but also is realizing he should have known what he was signing up for when he asked for that review XD

      Like

  9. Spottydog714 says:

    Hahaha Clara, this upload made me like you a tiny bit more!

    And hey, I’m sure they weren’t that bad. At least you liked you nephew though!

    Also, does that mean #TeamJei sails?

    Liked by 1 person

  10. raerei says:

    Awesome, awesome Clara!! I’m sure they weren’t as bad as you said. It was probably just the sound.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. sonniejj says:

    Oh those poor boys, I don’t know if it’s more funny or cringe-worthy lol.
    I hope they keep going though. Even the biggest stars had to start somewhere right 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Hahaha I think it’s a bit of both… Amusing but cringe-y hehehe. Hopefully their next gigs will go better!

      Like

  12. alphabetagama8 says:

    I love how Clara writes! So sarcastic, honest and amazing! I also love her friend, totally “suits” Clara!
    Shame that Lucas’s band isn’t starting off well but after all if it was all rainbows and sunshine that wouldn’t be realistic, or funny…
    Thank you for this amazing post!
    😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      I’m so glad you are enjoying Clara! I adore arriving her ^_^ Thank you 🙂 (and let’s hope for a brighter future for Lucas’ band haha)

      Like

  13. JoieWilder says:

    Clara is like my favorite character ever. ❤ I love her style. It's so unique and honest.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. lisabeesims says:

    I toured as the Manager of a rock band for about 10 years. My favorite band in all that time was a horrible but haven’t named forever eternal. They did a song called enemy aenonome .. I am going to have to look up how to spell that one. I am referring to the little spikey sea creature. I can still sing that horrid little ditty even to this day lol.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. lisabeesims says:

    But they were the sweetest boys I think we met on the road too

    Liked by 1 person

  16. maladi777 says:

    This was hilarious.
    I’m not sure if Luc is going to be happy about what she wrote though. 😀
    The part about scared singer killed me. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  17. I would love to hear his response to this review, lmao! In sure it wasn’t that bad, but I believe there’s room for improvement.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. RemïNarrow says:

    I love Clara’s reasoning at the end! It’s hilarious 😝 😂 And hell I seriously wanna hear what Luc has to say about this beautiful review his tante wrote for him!

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Hahahahahaha I’m glad you enjoyed this one 😛 Poor Lucas… I imagine he was not happy, but also blamed himself more than anything — he should have known what he was getting into when he asked her to write this review! LMAO

      Liked by 1 person

  19. Zygi says:

    the guy behind Lena looks a bit like Clara’s boyfriend or he may have only similar clothes ^^
    I love so much to read your story 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      This is a very interesting comment! 🙂 And I’m so glad you enjoy my story so much. Thank you for reading! ^_^

      Like

  20. theplumbob says:

    Haha Cara is so funny! But good point about the small crowd, especially since her, Lena and Joce were pretty much half the audience 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  21. JLBDreams16 says:

    I really like Clara and her blog!

    Like

  22. theceltygirly says:

    I love her so freaking much XD

    Liked by 1 person

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