It still doesn’t feel real.
My Bruder – my best friend – he’s leaving us.
In less than three weeks, he’s moving to Willow Creek… Across an ocean. Over 8,000 kilometers away.
I guess it hasn’t sunk in yet. Maybe it never will.
Not until he’s gone.
I think the worst part is that he kept the whole thing secret… But why? Why would he do that? We used to tell each other everything. When did that change? It just made everything so much harder – for all of us.
Three nights ago was when he finally told us. And it was horrible. I don’t think any of us really knew what to say. Even Papa and grandpa were shocked. I mean, they were definitely the most understanding, I guess. But I don’t think they were expecting it either.
Anyway, things got ugly pretty quickly. Mama was yelling, the kids were crying, and Stefan just lost it. Screaming, swearing… And then he stormed right out. It was so bad – like a scene from one of vovó’s awful soap operas.
Josh ran after him pretty quickly though. And he must have talked some sense into him, because Stefan came back a few minutes later. And things went a little better the second time around, I guess. Less screaming. Lots of crying….
We talked for a long time. Lettie even had to bring the kids to bed before it was all over.
And speaking of the kids… I think they’re taking this the worst. Maybe even worse than Mama, if you can believe it. They just can’t understand. Lettie and I have been trying so hard. Mama and Papa too. And I know Stefan’s spent a lot of time talking with Clara and the twins about it. But it’s not easy.
And it’s definitely not easy for me either. Every time I think about it, I just feel… mad, I guess. Like Stefan’s abandoning us or something. And I know I shouldn’t feel that way. This job is exactly what my Bruder has always wanted. He’s been unhappy for so long, and this is what he needs to do.
I finally sat down and talked to him last night. “This will be great for you.” I told him. “I know it will be.” And I meant it.
I just wish it could be great for the rest of us too.
Poor Mama. It’s only been a few days, but she still hasn’t really said much. Any time someone tries to talk about Stefan leaving, she changes the subject, or finds some reason to leave the room. It’s almost like she’s in denial or something. Like if we don’t talk about it, it will make it all go away.
But no matter how much Mama pretends, nothing can change the truth. Stefan is leaving. For good.
In just 18 days.