3.42: Changing

It’s crazy how much can change in just a few months.

For better and for worse.

I know it’s been a while since I’ve really written anything. Just too crazy, like it usually is this time of year. Add in baby Gus, visits from Josh, and getting ready for the World Cup, and… Yeah, I was lucky to find time to breathe, let alone write.

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But now it feels like I’ve got nothing but time, ever since we totally BLEW IT in the first fucking round.

Shit. It still hurts like Hell. I can’t remember the last time I’ve felt so goddamn miserable. Ever. I mean, who knows when I’ll ever get a chance at the World Cup again? I just can’t believe we fucked it all up…

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Anyway, between my sulking and Stefan’s (can you believe he’s still working part time down at the pharmacy? He just can’t catch a break, I guess), I think everyone’s really looking forward to getting rid of us for a couple of weeks.

That’s the one silver lining, I guess – with my team out of the finals and Stefan’s job offer falling through, we were able to push our trip forward a little bit. This time next week, we’ll be in Willow Creek with Josh and his family.

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I’m definitely looking forward to it. It’ll be nice to take my mind off all the shit going on here at home, and to finally meet Josh’s family – my family too, I guess. I’m really excited to meet everyone in person… And to travel to the US for the first time.

And you might think Mama would be losing her mind about this whole thing, but she’s actually handling it pretty well, all things considered. I mean, Stefan and I have never gone so far from home before, so she’s kinda freaking out about that, I guess. No matter how many times we tell her not to worry.

“You’re my babies.” She keeps saying. “I’ll always worry.”

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But I think she knows we’ll be in good hands. Remember what I said about things changing?

I’m not sure exactly when it happened, but… well, I never thought I’d say this, but Mama and Josh are… I’m not sure if you can really call them “friends”, exactly. But it’s incredible. I mean, if you’d ever told me back when this all started that things would ever be like this… I probably would have asked you to get your head checked out or something.

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Anyway, I’m just so relieved to see Mama happy again. I was afraid we were losing her, for a while. But ever since Christmas, things have been getting better and better for her. And when things are better for Mama, well, they’re better for all of us.

Or at least… almost all of us.

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Nothing’s ever easy – I learned that a long time ago. So while Mama’s been getting better, Stefan’s been getting, well… worse, I guess.

Ever since we were kids, Stefan’s been… I’m not sure how to describe it. “Unhappy” just doesn’t feel right. I mean, my Bruder laughs and smiles all the time, and tells all kinds of lame jokes, just like Mama and Jonas. He’s fun. He’s upbeat. He always has been.

But underneath it all… I don’t know. I guess I thought finding Josh would have made it better, y’know? And at first, it seemed like it did. But now I’m not so sure.

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Maybe I’m looking too much into it. Maybe it’s my own shitty mood talking. I dunno.

I just really hope things get better after we visit Josh.

For both of us.

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37 Responses to 3.42: Changing

  1. sonniejj says:

    Oh no… Now I’m really starting to worry about Stefan. I mean, Tobi has it tough too, but at least he has a wife to support him and children he loves. And his career is going better than Stefan’s, despite not winning the World Cup.

    Gosh, you just can’t let that family catch a break, can you :p #TeamIsecretlylovethedrama

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Yeah, Stefan is in a weird place right now I think 😦 And no… They never get a break from me XD #TeamImGladYouLoveIt 😛

      Like

  2. Simslover163 says:

    Stefan, you’ll always have my sympathy. Tobi does have it tough too, but having Colette and his children by his side really makes him feel great. I wish you the best in the World Cup, Tobi! Even if you don’t win, you’re still a great soccer player! 🙂 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Hahaha well Tobi did lose already 😦 His team was eliminated in the first round. Poor guy. 😦 Bt yeah, at least he has Colette and his kids! Poor Stefan doesn’t have that kind of support system to help him through 😦

      Liked by 1 person

  3. kaffepigen says:

    Aw he missed the world cup, how sad for him and his team. I’m sure they’ll get a second chance in some years though. Abiut Stefan. I already shared my thoughts about him in a previous chapter and i stand by my words 😉

    I hope they get a great vacation at Josh’s family. They so much deserve it!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. audreyfld says:

    I hope they enjoy the trip to the US. Maybe Stefan will find love there. He desperately needs someone to love him. If he does, maybe he will bring her/him(?) back with him. Hmmmm….maybe that is why he hasn’t been able to maintain a relationship and can’t find himself. :p

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      I hope they enjoy it too! And it would be so lovely if Stefan found someone. Or maybe even better, found HIMSELF! He is so lost. *hugs Stefan*

      Like

  5. Jes2G says:

    “You’re my babies.” She keeps saying. “I’ll always worry.”

    This is the truth. I told my mom I wanted to go to the beach by myself, and she caused a stink. I said, “I’m 34 years old, and I live alone. I live alone in Atlanta. With all this crazy traffic around here, I take my life into my own hands every day getting on the road, but despite all of that you’re concerned about me driving 7 hours by myself??” I laughed.

    Liked by 3 people

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Hahahaha that is very cute/sweet! My mom used to be the same, until I started traveling a lot to concerts around the country/world XD Now she pretty much accepts it, but panics the whole time and expects constant phone calls to assure her I’m okay XD

      Liked by 1 person

  6. theplumbob says:

    Hopefully Stefan will meet a nice girl in the US that will lift his spirits haha

    Liked by 2 people

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Lol! You are the second one to suggest this XD But the question is, can a girl really be enough to solve his problems? *dramatic music*

      Liked by 1 person

      • theplumbob says:

        Solve his problems? Definitely not! It would be a distraction though haha and perhaps a bit more age appropriate than obsessing about daddy 😛 In the long run though, it would just be putting off addressing the real issue for that extra bit longer. But some people are like that.

        Liked by 3 people

  7. silentwolfy101 says:

    So many feels… So many…

    Tobi, I’m so sorry that it all fell through. But hey, at least you’re going on your trip!

    Stefan… 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Yogiwonks says:

    I have no reason to but I wonder if Stefan will want to stay in the USA.
    Maybe he just needs a change of scenery to find himself.
    I’m proud of Mari.
    It takes much strength to get over yourself.
    I’m excited for the next update.
    Thank you for posting so often!

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      That’s a good question/thought. Stefan definitely needs to find himself. Perhaps you’re right, maybe he needs a change of scenery?

      And I’m glad you’re proud of Mari. I am too 🙂 And I’m glad you enjoy my frequent updates! I love writing this story ^_^ Thank you so much for reading!

      Like

  9. peacesign101 says:

    I wonder what Stefan feels like to be brothers with Tobi. I mean Tobi has a wife, 3 kids and his dream career. On the other hand, Stefan is working part time as a pharmacist and hasn’t had a serious girlfriend in a while (or has he?). Does Stefan ever compare himself with Tobi like that?

    And what’s missing? It bums me out that Stefan isn’t at his best right now. It’s like a puzzle. Half of its worked out, but you don’t what to do what the other pieces in order to make it complete.

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Oooh you are asking some very good questions! All I can say is keep those thoughts in mind when we get to tomorrow (Saturday’s) chapter 😉 Thank you so much for reading!

      Liked by 1 person

  10. JLBDreams16 says:

    Poor Stephan. I hope he’s not slipping into a depression. He’s got to stop pinning his happiness as dependent on others.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Spottydog714 says:

    All caught up! Stefan could do with a girlfriend right about now. And not some fling like he had with Mira. Mira? Was that her name? And Stefan, it’s okay. The readers all love you! Citizen will give you your happiness when Gen 5 is starting, at the very least. 😀 Till then, we are all rooting for you! 🙂 Love the update! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Hang in there Tobi! 😦 poor Stefan…he’ll find what he needs! Unless Amanda is at the reins…then he totally won’t.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Stefan, Stefan, Stefan… Some people just can’t be happy, can they? I’m thinking I should send over a business card for my therapist Sim. Even though Mari doesn’t really need a therapist so much anymore, Stefan could certainly use some help working through his issues.

    I don’t know why I’m always suggesting therapy for your Sims, lol. They’re really not that bad. I just want happy endings for everyone and mental health is so important.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Oh Stefan, you put too much of your hope into one person. You need to love yourself, too.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. theceltygirly says:

    Stefan 😦
    I think like thymelesslegacies up there said, he probably put all of his happiness in Josh, but you can’t rely on a person to be your happiness. We have to be our own happiness. He just has a sucky go of things with a super successful brother.

    Liked by 1 person

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