Interlude: Baby Steps

Mari tried her best to stifle a yawn as she headed up the long staircase. It was barely four in the afternoon, and she already felt like she was ready for bed.

05-21-16_9-42-39 PM

Things had been so crazy lately, both at work and at home. Her piano students were busy preparing for their upcoming concert, there was a new production starting down at the theater, Clara’s dance recital was in less than a week, Colette was getting ready to go back to work, Jonas was up for a big promotion, Stefan was scrambling to find a job, and Tobi was still making headlines for helping the national team quailfy for the World Cup for the first time in years.

Mari’s head was spinning just thinking about it. Not to mention the new baby… And having Josh here…

05-21-16_9-49-42 PM

An unpleasant sensation crept into her stomach at the thought. With every visit, she kept hoping that things would get easier. But they never did.

Mari did her best to chase the unpleasant thought from her mind as she headed toward Tobi and Colette’s bedroom. Her daughter-in-law had been working on lesson plans when Mari arrived home from rehearsal just a few minutes before. “Would you mind peeking in on Gus for me?” She’d asked. “I think his nap’s just about over.”

05-21-16_9-21-49 PM

She was more than happy to, of course. Her new grandson’s sweet little face was exactly the thing she needed after the day she’d had. Hell, after the MONTH I’ve had. Mari almost laughed as she opened the bedroom door.

05-21-16_9-51-07 PM 05-21-16_9-52-30 PM 05-21-16_9-53-22 PM

Fuck.

Mari knew that Tobi and Stefan were having Josh over that afternoon, but she’d assumed he was still out back making snowmen with the kids.

She quickly forced a smile, as she always did when she was forced to interact with her sons’ biological father. “Sorry.” Mari said kindly. “I didn’t realize you were in here… I was just checking in on Augg— Gus.” Her eyes darted toward her gurgling grandson for a moment. “But it looks like you’ve got it covered.”

05-21-16_10-06-13 PM

The woman backed toward the door as she spoke, eager to make her escape. Oh God, this is the first time we’ve been alone together since… Mari did not want to think about the last time. It was too unpleasant. Too painful. Too embarrassing to remember that night at the hotel all those months ago.

Josh glanced over his shoulder. “Mari, wait.” He returned the baby to his crib and turned to face her. “We can’t keep going like this. You and I – we need to talk.”

05-21-16_10-12-22 PM

Oh God, why is he doing this?! Her smile faltered slightly. “W-what’s there to talk about?” She stammered. “And you’re staying for dinner anyway, aren’t you?” Her voice was almost hopeful. “We can talk then.” Mari knew full-well that he was not referring to their usual uncomfortable small-talk. But she had to try. Can’t this guy take a fucking hint?

“I was a jackass – a royal asshat.” He crossed the room, coming closer to her. “I never was able to apologize to you personally for what happened. I know Jonas passed my apology on to you, but I did want the chance to actually say I’m sorry to you.”

05-21-16_10-16-11 PM

Asshat’?! For a moment, Mari almost laughed. That’s a new one… She hesitated before replying. “Thanks.” She said at last. “But, to be fair, you were absolutely right. I was being a bitch.” Mari shrugged slightly, and found herself no longer able to meet his gaze. “And I’m the one who’s sorry.”

Her cheeks grew warm as the words passed her lips. God, why was that so fucking hard to say? Mari stared at the floor as she waited anxiously for Josh’s reply, wishing she were standing in that room with anyone but him.

05-21-16_10-21-00 PM

Josh snorted softly and smiled crookedly. “Why don’t we just split the difference and call us both sorry?”

Mari lifted her gaze at the sound of his laugh. Is he seriously SMILING right now? She shook her head slowly. “Why are you being like this?” Mari fought not to raise her voice in frustration. “I mean, you make it sound like everything’s okay now. Like it’s that easy to fix this fucking mess.” A small sigh escaped her lips. “But it’s not. Look, I’m glad we both apologized, okay? I really am. But can we stop pretending things will ever be normal? Because I’m sorry, Josh. But they won’t be. They can’t.”

05-21-16_10-28-02 PM

He sighed softly. “But why? Why does it have to be hard, Mari? Why can’t we try to get along? Not be civil and make awkward small talk – actually get along. Like regular people.”

“Because I’m not a regular person, Josh!” This time, Mari was not quite as successful in controlling her volume. She closed her eyes for a moment, and took a deep breath before continuing. “I have been fighting for years to be one. And for a long time, I thought I finally was. Regular. Normal. Happy.” She let out a short, bitter laugh. “But from the moment you walked into my sons’ lives, you’ve been reminding me that I’m not.” She paused. “And I know now that it’s not your fault, okay? It’s mine.”

05-21-16_10-31-01 PM

“I understand that,” he replied earnestly. “But I’ve heard a lot about you, Mari. From Jonas and Tobi and Stefan. And from what I’ve heard, you really sound like someone I’d like to be friends with. I understand that I’m a complication in your life, and a reminder of things you’d rather forget. I just think that you’re someone I’d like to actually know.”

05-21-16_10-34-35 PM

Mari did not speak for a long time as she took in his words. How can he say that? Why the Hell would anyone ever WANT to know me? She wondered, incredulous. Doesn’t he know what I’m like? Doesn’t he know I’m –

She closed her eyes, and took three slow, deep breaths. No. She told herself firmly. Stop.

05-21-16_10-37-14 PM

At last, she found her voice. “Look.” Mari’s voice was soft. “You’re a nice guy.  I didn’t want to let myself see that before. I was too busy convincing myself you were trying to swoop in and fuck up my family or something.” She shook her head. “But I know you aren’t. And I really appreciate how kind you’ve been to my boys… My whole family, really. But this is still so damn hard for me. I don’t think you’ll ever understand how much this whole thing just… kills me.” Her eyes stung sharply for a moment. Mari did her best to blink her tears away before continuing.

05-21-16_10-38-09 PM

“I know how much it would mean to the boys if we could be friends. And who knows? Maybe someday…” Mari shrugged, leaving the thought unfinished. Yeah right. She thought secretly. “But not now.”

Josh nodded slowly. “Yeah, I get that. Baby steps, right?” He smiled a little and offered his hand to her. “If we can’t be friends, maybe friend-adjacent.”

05-21-16_10-41-59 PM

He’s really trying. Mari realized, staring down at his outstretched hand. Maybe he really is serious about this ‘getting along’ thing… But what about her?

Am I ready? She asked herself uncertainly. Can I really do this?

His hand was rough and warm in hers.

05-21-16_10-56-41 PM05-21-16_6-41-33 PM05-21-16_11-28-38 PM05-21-16_11-31-08 PM05-21-16_11-36-02 PM05-21-16_11-36-45 PM05-21-16_11-38-01 PM05-21-16_11-38-44 PM05-21-16_11-48-51 PM05-21-16_11-49-06 PM05-21-16_11-51-27 PM05-21-16_11-51-44 PM

—————————————————–

Thank you to JoieWilder for writing all of Josh’s dialogue and actions in this chapter.

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57 Responses to Interlude: Baby Steps

  1. Simslover163 says:

    😊😊😊😊😊 Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. 😊😊😊😊😊

    This is a moment to cherish and remember! I was also part of #TeamBabySteps. Glad Mari and Josh were able to have this chat and compromise. Cookies for all! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Senna says:

    “It was barely four in the afternoon, and she already felt like she was ready for bed.”

    I know that feeling all too well, Mari. :/

    And…At least progress is being made.

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Hugs to you Senna! Those days can be rough 😦

      And yes, this was a big step for Mari. She and Josh finally have some sort of resolution 🙂 Even if things aren’t quite perfect yet.

      Like

  3. silentwolfy101 says:

    Mari, you are ready. You can do this.

    “You’ve just gotta put one foot in front of the other.” ~Don’t know where it’s from, but my best friend used to say it all the time when we were at school, more angrily at the freshman who just stood there in the middle of the hallway than anything else.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Jes2G says:

    Friend adjacent? LOL, cornball.

    Very nice win for #TeamBabySteps

    Liked by 1 person

  5. theplumbob says:

    Loved this! I feel like these two could have had such a could synergy had the circumstances been different. This was like a little obscured peak into an alternate universe where these two ended up having a relationship. I still demand Mari and Josh fanfiction! Not that I know what that would even be called – Jori could jsut be Mari and Jonas… Mash? 😀 😀

    Liked by 2 people

    • raerei says:

      I vote for Mash fabrication!!

      Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Mash! I love it LMAO! This was a big step for them, and I think they really have the potential to be friends one day 🙂 It won’t happen overnight, of course, but they are headed that way, I think!

      Future Gen 4 chapters where they are friendly together will probably be the closest we ever get to Mash fanfic, unfortunately 😛 But I do think they could have been an interesting couple in an alternate universe!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. raerei says:

    Soooo, the boys found their father, Mari and Josh are semi happy in the same room, there a brand new baby….

    Why do I feel this sense of impending doom? Where’s that other shoe? We never stay happy for long….

    Liked by 3 people

  7. RemïNarrow says:

    Yess Mari! You go, girl!
    When she first refused to talk to Josh, I was like No! Running away from your problems is not the right thing to do! Stay there, talk to him, listen to what he has to say. And she did! So proud of you, Mari! 😄 And so glad, all the awkwardness between them is going to finally end soon🙌

    Liked by 1 person

  8. EddieSims says:

    That’s right Mari! All you need to start is a few baby steps and then you’ll be running in no time. It also seems like Mari and Collette’s mother were getting along better in the last chapter when Gus was born. I think raerei is right, when is the other shoe gonna fall off? LOL.

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Hahaha Mari is making strides for sure! 😀 And yes, Amelie has warmed up a lot to the family too! Everything gets better with time 🙂 And now Josh and Mari can be added to the list XD

      Hopefully the happiness will last? 🙂 (lol jk it’s me writing this)

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Derubelle says:

    Reading this on the bus with bad interner so not all pictures loading but still an awesome chapter ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Aw, try to look again later if you can! The ending of this chapter is all pictures, no words. ^_^ I’m glad you enjoyed it though! Thanks for reading!

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Amber says:

    Yay, hopefully they’ll stop being so awkward now lol #TeamBabySteps

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Farbkleckswelten says:

    There we go! See Mari, it may not be easy but you can do it. Just take your time!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. audreyfld says:

    I love the way you both write the dialogue for your own characters. It makes it so much more unpredictable! Yay for a “maybe friend-adjacent” whatever the heck that is! lol….

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Hahaha Josh was being ridiculous XD Basically almost-friends, I think is what he means 😛 Which… Is kinda what they are right now! Yay for #TeamBabySteps ! (And thank you for reading!)

      Like

  13. NoaLyn says:

    Aww I’m having tears in my eyes right now (not good because I’m at work xD)! I’m so glad that they are finally trying. And I love that Josh doesn’t just give up but understands that with Mari you have to take baby steps! Really beautiful chapter 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Thank you so much! I’m so glad you loved this chapter ^_^ (sorry about the tears at work though… :P). Thank you so much for reading 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  14. lisabeesims says:

    OH that second shot of Josh w/ the baby and mari walking in on them .. wow it shouted out … I am glad they seemed to bury the hatchet and not in each other ..

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Thank you! 🙂 The shots for this chapter were a bit tricker to get than I thought they’d be. I’m glad you liked that one! And yes, I’m glad they’re working things out like this 🙂 Feels so good to write it ^_^

      Liked by 1 person

  15. O'jenn says:

    #TeamHandshake has been born of this.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. I really love how your story gets the people going! If I’m catching up from being a few days behind, it takes me as long to read the comments as it does the post. You’re such a talented writer.

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      You’re making me blush over here hahaha I do love all the feedback I get on this story. I feel very lucky to have so many wonderful people reading my story. Including you! ^_^ I love seeing you catch up! (And hearing that your disastrous combination of wine and laptop has been somewhat resolved!)

      Liked by 1 person

  17. CitizenErased14 says:

    Haha yes! ^_^

    Like

  18. I’m baaaaaack! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  19. EmmaLeeXOXO_C says:

    Awww this was beautiful! I’m so happy they both took responsibility for their actions and apologized!

    Liked by 1 person

  20. theceltygirly says:

    Oi, I’m having an insomnia-like episode again, so I’m binge reading some more XD
    I use the term asshat :3
    I like the happiness right now 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  21. I think I don’t understand what is her problem. I mean, she found a way to forgive Diego, that colossal piece of ass (back then). But she couldn’t speak to Josh for months because…? She certainly couldn’t think he was actually gonna steal the boys. 😀

    Like

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