3.38: Once and For All

I can’t believe that this week’s gone by so fast.

Or that I’m somehow still standing after all of it.

Practice, games, the kids, Colette… That’s already hard enough to juggle as-is. But with Josh here, it’s been, well… Even more crazy than usual, I guess.

But so worth it.

Josh really is an awesome guy. He’s so nice, he’s got a great sense of humor, and he’s really good with my kids – even if Stefan and I have to act as interpreters between them.

I don’t know if I’ll ever feel comfortable calling him my Papa… But I definitely think I can call him a friend. And that’s good enough for me.

Still… It was kind of exciting to get the test results back. Not that it was a huge surprise or anything. But it gave us the real answer we’d been waiting for, once and for all.

Stefan was pretty much beside himself over the whole thing. And I was happy too. But… it felt a little weird at the same time, I guess.

Especially when we told Mama and Papa.

I don’t think they were surprised either, of course. But it still felt so… final, now that we’ve got the test to back it up. And it was really awkward having to tell them.

Papa just smiled. I know this has been hard on him… But he knows how I feel. We had a long talk about it a few days after Josh got here.

Josh may be my Vater. But Jonas is my Papa. Nothing will ever change that, no matter what.

I wish Stefan could see that too.

Oh well.

Anyway, Mama was the one I was really worried about. She was quiet for a long time. It was like she couldn’t find the right words or something. And I wasn’t sure whether she was gonna start screaming or crying…

But she didn’t do either.

She got to her feet, looked at both of us, and just said “I’m so happy for you.” She even almost smiled.

And even if it didn’t exactly sound like she meant it, I really think she did.

Telling her how we planned to celebrate, well… That didn’t go quite as smoothly.

Josh is leaving in three days (well, four technically, but his flight is so early that I don’t really count the fourth). And we still haven’t gotten the whole family together to meet him. So we invited him over for dinner tomorrow night.

And I wish I could say he was excited about the idea, but…

Let’s just say it took a little convincing.

And as for Mama, well… She didn’t completely explode, at least. But she’s definitely not happy.

I knew this was a bad idea. I shouldn’t have let Stefan talk me into it. But it’s too late now.

I guess all I can do is hope it isn’t a complete disaster…