3.35: Dream

I’ve been waiting my entire life for this, and it finally happened. It still doesn’t even feel real.

I did it. I met my Vater.

And it was…

Well, I’m gonna try to start from the beginning.

Tobi and I fucked up. Royally. We know we did. But I guess we kinda didn’t know what to do. I mean, everyone was finally getting used to the idea of us talking to Josh… How the Hell could we tell them he was coming to visit?

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Looking back… I guess we were pretty damn stupid, huh? Did we seriously think waiting was somehow gonna make it better?

Oh God, I still can’t believe Mama. She lost her fucking MIND. I almost felt bad for the kids having to see her like that… She usually controls herself pretty well in front of them…

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But not this time.

If I could go back and do this all over again, there’s so much I’d do differently. But I can’t, of course.

So all Tobi and I could do was move forward, and hope she forgives us (I’m sure she will. She HAS to… Right?)

When we left for the airport this morning, we were pretty damn scared about Mama. She was making all these crazy threats last night about trying to stop us…

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Would she really do it? Would she really try to ruin what might be the most important moment of me and Tobi’s lives?

Thank God we never had to find out. Jonas promised us not to worry – he said he’d make sure everything was fine with Mama. And I guess he delivered, because she never showed. I think Jonas is probably the last person I expected to be so supportive of this whole thing… But I’m so grateful he is.

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Anyway, when we finally got there, it wasn’t too long before we stopped worrying about Mama, or Jonas, or… anyone.

Because there he was.

Our Vater.

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It’s a pretty incredible feeling, meeting someone you’ve been searching for your entire life. For a moment, it was like I was ten years old again…

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It was everything I’d been dreaming of, ever since I was a little kid. So much had led up to that moment.

And it was pretty damn near perfect.

Y’know, except for the fact that I was acting like a total fucking nutcase. I just couldn’t stop smiling like an idiot the whole time. I felt… giddy, almost. Looking back, it might have been a little too forward to run up and hug him like that, but… he didn’t seem to mind.

I was almost afraid that it would feel awkward or something… But hugging him really felt right, y’know? Natural.

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And after waiting so many years to finally do it, I almost didn’t want to let go.

Tobi was a little more reserved about the whole thing, I guess. Which is honestly kinda weird for him. I mean he’s usually Mr. Social while I’m… me.

But instead he hung back and kept pretty quiet while I talked poor Josh’s ear off.

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I don’t get many chances to speak English. I read it all the time on the internet, of course, and hear it almost every time I turn on the TV. But actually speaking it?

Those first couple of phone calls with Josh had been pretty terrifying… And I thought talking to him in person would be even worse. But instead, it was so much easier (though I think I might have even slipped into German a few times without realizing it… I can barely even remember most of what I said, to be honest… I was just so damn excited!).

Josh was almost as quiet as Tobi was… But not in a bad way. More like an “I’m-really-jetlagged-and-kind-of-overwhelmed” sort of way. Which I totally get.

But he smiled a lot too. He looked so happy. And I’ll never forget the first words he said to me (in person, at least).

“Damn it’s good to finally meet you.”

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“You too”, I told him

I don’t think he’ll ever understand how much of an understatement that is.

It wasn’t until we were on the way to Josh’s hotel that I think it really started to hit me that he’s really here. Our Vater.

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And Tuesday morning, we’re heading down to the lab to make it official.

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It’ll take about a week to get the results, and I think Josh is planning on hanging around for a few days afterwards too… We don’t really have a lot of specifics planned out. Just getting to know each other better, y’know? Introducing him to Tobi’s kids. Making up for all that lost time…

God, I still can’t believe this is real.

I almost want someone to pinch me or something… Make sure I’m not dreaming, y’know?

But if I am

I don’t think I’d want anyone to wake me up.

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44 Responses to 3.35: Dream

  1. Simslover163 says:

    So happy for the boys to finally see and meet Josh!

    It’s really cool that you can incorporate cars in TS4 with CC. I wish TS4 can bring cars back!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Spottydog714 says:

    Hehehe The feels! The feels! I am so happy for you Stefan! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. audreyfld says:

    Ugh. I am happy they are meeting Josh, but I am appalled at how Stefan is behaving. He doesn’t know Josh yet he idolizes him. Can’t he see how much his reaction is hurting the two people that have loved and nurtured him his entire life. He might as well be flipping off Mari and Jonas and telling them the last 20+ years meant nothing. I feel very sorry for them.

    Tobias gets it and feels guilty. Why else would he hang back. He knows the way they went about this was completely wrong and they have deeply hurt the people that love them the most.

    I hope Josh doesn’t get caught up in Stefans uphoria and puts himself in Mari and Jonas’s place and sets Stefan straight. I can see Stefan wanting to return to the States with Josh because now he is “complete”. Blah. I kinda want this to happen so that Josh, being a truly stand up guy, tells him that he can come because he can’t stop him, but Stefan cannot live with him and his family and in fact he would prefer he didn’t come at all. Josh should tell Stefan he needs to stay here and repair his relationship with his real family. Grow up Stefan.

    Sorry about my rant – almost done.

    Now on to Mari. Mari overeacted but she always does. What I don’t like about her reaction is that she always feels sorry for herself instead of who this whole situation has really hurt the most, Jonas. Sweet Jonas who tries so hard to keep the peace and puts up with Mari’s low self esteem. He truly loves her and her boys unconditionally. If her anger was because they were hurting Jonas, I would be go Mari all the way. I get she is afraid of losing them, but it’s her own fault they snuck around. They know how easy she goes into a rage.

    Yes, I am back from vacation! Great job with the story! Loving it!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Even though I don’t agree with your opinions, I appreciate how unique your perspective always is! 🙂

      I won’t do a giant reply trying to justify or explain my characters haha. Everyone can have their own opinion (including the author haha)!

      Glad you are enjoying 🙂 Thanks for reading!


      • audreyfld says:

        I didn’t expect that. I totally love the story and how you have hooked all of us!! We always look forward to your updates and never know what to expect. 🙂 You don’t need to justify anything. It makes the characters unique and believable and adds to the drama.


    • theplumbob says:

      I totally get where you’re coming from, but this is Stefan. He’s been bigging up this moment for pretty mich his entire life, and he even admits that he feels like reverting back to when he was a child. I wouldn’t expect him to act any different about it all.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Senna says:

    I hope Jonas doesn’t start feeling threatened because of this. :/

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Jonas has many mixed feelings about this… It’ll be a while before we get his perspective, unfortunately! But his feelings are about 85% positive haha 🙂 Because he’s awesome and understanding

      Liked by 1 person

  5. raerei says:

    That little Stefan picture hugging his Vater….omg.

    I’m not sure the boys did the right or wrong thing, I mean it probably seemed like telling her after the fact meant Mari couldn’t stop it really and they probably knew she’d freak…but maybe telling her earlier would have let her adjust to the idea. But yeah, they went with “beg forgiveness”, which seems to have worked out, for now.

    Liked by 3 people

  6. Jes2G says:

    “Congrats, kids,” she said as she begins stocking up on Twizzlers for the next few chapters.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Senna says:

    Uh… Hope you don’t mind I’m nominating you for the Spirit Animal Award (Chances are you have been already)

    Spirit Animal Blog Award Acceptance Rules:

    1.) Thank the blogger who nominated you, and link back to their page.

    2.) Post the award picture on your blog.

    3.) Write a short paragraph about yourself and what your blog means to you.

    4.) If you could be any animal, what would it be?

    5.) Pick and notify ten nominees.

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      That’s so kind of you! Thanks!!! 🙂 I’ve been nominated a few times recently. I gonna have to do a giant post about it soon! Thanks again!!! I appreciate it 🙂


  8. sonniejj says:

    Oh I’m just so happy for Stefan! I really hope this gives him some piece of mind. I feel like he’s needed that for the past two decades.

    I think it’s understandable that Tobi is still holding back a bit. And for Josh to be a bit overwhelmed as well. I really hope that they’ll be able to maintain a good relationship even after he goes back 🙂

    As for Mari… Hopefully she can put her own issues aside. It won’t be easy, but I’m trying to expect the best of her. #Teamoptimism lol

    Liked by 2 people

  9. kaffepigen says:

    Apparently I had a connection error on my phone when trying to comment, so i’ll try again here on the computer 😛

    I loved the happiness of this chapter. It was obvious how much this meant to, at least, Stefan, though I’m sure even though Tobi kept himself a bit distant, he too was very grateful of Josh’s visit. I think he stayed a little to the side for Stefan’s sake, because he knew he was so full of joy and this was his lifelong dream.

    I wondered how you got them into the car, but I think i’ve got it. You used bb.moveobjects right? And then when they sat down you moved them into the car? I just thought you couldn’t move sims in ts4 by that way, but i can’t think of any other way. ?

    I hope Mari won’t try to ruin this moment for them. I’m sure she doesn’t intend to exactly ruin it for them, but she might end up doing it anyway because of how she feel about this. If there’s a confrontation between her and Josh, I fear he might leave early and that would kill Stefan! Mari, please behave for the sake of your children!!! Please, please please!

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Glad you enjoyed the chapter! 🙂

      For the car, what I did was position them first, then move the car “on top” of them with moveobjects 🙂 I used the pose player to have them do seated poses ^_^

      And as for Mari, I don’t think she’d ever honestly set out to ruin it for them. She does understand how important this is for them. But she’s hurting a LOT so… Your fear of a confrontation with Josh may come true at some point… 😛

      Liked by 1 person

      • kaffepigen says:

        That about the car was brilliant! I would never have thought of that myself 😛

        And I do hope Mari keeps herself in the background a bit so she doesn’t confront Josh up front, but you never know 😛 Well, you do, but we dont!

        Liked by 1 person

  10. Well, I am happy for Stefan, even if he is steam-rolling his brother a bit! Poor Mari…*bittersweet feels*

    Liked by 1 person

  11. lisabeesims says:

    ❤ a happy one ❤


  12. silentwolfy101 says:

    I almost feel like it’s too good to be true… For one of your stories, anyways. Either way, I’ll still hope!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Derubelle says:

    “And Tuesday morning, we’re heading down to the lab to make it official” that right there…i read it w extra squinty suspicious eyes..a testament to my mistrust in the wonderful writer that you are.. a G.R.R.M of sims literature..Thst meaning that I loce you and your writing…but I don’t trust you..not one bit missy haha

    Liked by 1 person

  14. crstasse says:

    I think Stefan has always had trouble with finding his own identity and that it was tied a lot up in finding his real father. This was very important to him and I really enjoyed the reunion. I can understand Toby being more reserved because unlike Stefan he really didn’t desire to find his real father and saw Jonas as his father. The two boys are very different. Keeps the story interesting.
    Great writing as always and I miss cars too in the Sims4! I love the way you put so much thought and care into your images. It just adds so much more to the story.

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Thank you so much for your comment! And thank you so much for your compliment on my screenshots too 🙂 I spend a lot of time on them, but I feel the results make it well worth it! ^_^


  15. JLBDreams16 says:

    Great chapter! That little touch of showing Stephan as a kid when he said he felt like a kid brought a tear to my eye. I’m happy for them all and hope Josh’s visit goes reasonably well. That was a nice car you found!

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Thank you! Doing those screenshots made me kind of emotional hahaha I’m glad you liked them! (And yeah, famous soccer star Tobi gets a fancy convertible Hehehehe I love finding good cc!)

      Liked by 1 person

  16. Virtualee says:

    Isn’t it precious!! SIGH

    Liked by 1 person

  17. CitizenErased14 says:

    Hahaha yes, Tobi rides in style 😉


  18. I’m glad stefan is finally getting what he wanted! I just hope it remains what he wants.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. theceltygirly says:

    I’m smiling and got chills at the cute pictures of Stefan as a child!!! I love it so much ❤ Best chapter, greatest chapter, happiest chapter. Thumbs up all around 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  20. msmarvel98 says:

    Please tell me the paternity test will be fine. Stefan doesn’t need any heartbreak right now, he’s so happy ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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