3.30: Guess Not

I just don’t understand.

As of today, it’s been three months. THREE friggin’ months.

And we haven’t heard a thing.

04-17-16_9-15-28 PM

I mean, I know sending a letter overseas can take some time. I was ready for a long wait… I kept telling myself I could be patient.

And at first, it wasn’t so bad. The kids were home for summer break, I was working at my internship, Mira and I started dating… There was a lot to keep me busy.

04-17-16_9-18-19 PM

But after about a month or so, that was when I really started to worry.

And it’s only gotten worse ever since.

I keep trying to talk to Tobi about it, but with the football season back on, it’s really hard to find time to talk to him… He’s got practice every day, and games every weekend, so he’s away a lot, of course. And when he is home, he’s always so busy with Jocelyne and Lucas…

04-17-16_10-47-44 PM

I’ve managed to corner him a few times though. I just wanna know what he thinks of this whole thing, y’know? I mean, I can’t be the only one panicking, can I?

Tobi sure likes to make it feel that way.

04-17-16_10-18-26 PM

He’s just so… indifferent about this whole thing. And he keeps giving me the same lines, again and again.

“He probably thinks we’re crazy or something.”

“It’s not like we have any PROOF.”

“Maybe he just doesn’t give a damn.”

“We aren’t any worse off than we were before.”

“Sure it sucks, but maybe we need to just move on.”


04-17-16_10-22-44 PM

He makes me so fucking mad. How can he talk about this like it’s no big deal?! I mean sure, I know he’s been kinda skeptical about this whole thing from the beginning… But back when we sent that letter, I really thought he’d started coming around, y’know?

Guess not.

04-17-16_9-47-12 PM

I swear to God, it’s like the universe hates me or something. First my internship leaves me without a job offer, then Mira and I break it off, and now my Bruder doesn’t give a shit about our real Papa ignoring us. For months.

But… why?! I just don’t get it.

I haven’t met her a lot, but Nora really seems like such a nice woman. I kinda figured Joshua would be the same, y’know? And in every interview I’ve seen, her Bruder sounds so funny and down-to-earth. Kind. Warm. A family man…

The type of guy I’d always imagined my Papa would be.

How can he just ignore us like this?!

04-17-16_9-49-54 PM

Even if he thinks we’re completely batshit crazy, can’t he have the fucking decency to write us back and SAY so?!

What if Tobi’s right? Maybe he really doesn’t give a shit about us…

I don’t even know what to do anymore. I keep thinking maybe we should try writing again, but I don’t have the address memorized, and Tobi just keeps blowing me off every time I mention it.

04-17-16_10-29-46 PM

What the Hell am I supposed to do?!


This sucks.

It really fucking sucks.

04-17-16_9-58-07 PM

33 thoughts on “3.30: Guess Not

  1. *spills water everywhere* Stefan’s right. This really sucks not hearing from Josh for MONTHS and Tobi not making a big deal about the situation. Maybe Josh is either creeped out or just too excited to hear from his biological sons. Another theory: Josh had received the letter and probably had flashbacks to when he was with Mari.

    *grabs book of magic spells and wand* Freezing winds. Cold icy winds. It’s magic time.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Poor Stephan. He’s investing way too much of himself into this bio-dad hunt. He’s obsessed. I wonder why Josh hasn’t answered yet. I don’t think he’ll ignore this forever but I think he’d be a little curious because I’m sure he remembers hooking up with Mari.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes, how could anyone forget Mari? 😉 Hahahaha. And yes, he’s certainly a bit obsessed with this whole thing. Maybe now more than ever. I think it’s because he feels he’s SO close to finally getting what he’s dreamed of, and now is dealing with the frustration of Josh’s silence 😦

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I feel like Stefan has gotten to a point where he’s gotten so worked up about the whole thing that if he ever does meet Josh, it’s bound to be anticlimactic. A stranger, even one that shares his DNA, does not define him and can’t magically “fix” everything in his life. What will he do once he meets Josh and realises that nothing essential has changed?

    Needless to say my outlook is the same as Tobias’s 🙂

    Liked by 4 people

    1. I think you bring up a really interesting point about how Josh cannot magically make everything better for Stefan! Assuming they ever meet at all, of course. Not looking so good right now…


  4. Ok…

    We all know that Stefan has been really needy in this Papa Saga. However, he has officially lost it. Is he really so narrow-minded about the whole thing that he reeeeeeeally can’t see just ONE logical reason why Josh hasn’t responded? Has he not considered Josh’s side of the situation? The man has his own family now! Perhaps he needs time to wrap his head around the situation and then even more time to figure out how he’s gonna explain this to them. And…what if he doesn’t want to reply? That should be ok, but no, Stefan is like banking his whole life on this silly letter! I know it’s not silly to him, but it’s silly to think that suddenly everything is going to be fine because so-called papa is back in your life IF you ever get to meet the man! Come on Stefan. Wake up!

    Darn you, Lucas Ainsworth, for passing on your selfish trait! lol

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Damn, Jess got harsh today XD

      You and ThePlumbob have both brought up the very interesting point about Stefan thinking finding his bio-dad is going to solve all of his problems…. I won’t say much, except hold on to that thought for a while and you’ll see XD

      And yes, Stefan is being pretty selfish by not considering why Josh may be unresponsive to their letter. I think he’s automatically assuming the worst, instead of considering other reasons or trying to put himself in Josh’s shoes…

      Liked by 1 person

  5. How have I missed 3 updates? I’m so sorry for not commenting! Needless to say, I have loved reading these updates, they have been super awesome! ❤


    Come on, Stefan. Accept that Josh has a logical reason not to reply and move on. I can understand that you need this closure, but you really shouldn't be clutching at straws. And you had a gf. That didn't work out. What is it with you and your girl troubles? Is Citizen being mean to you so she can emphasize how messed up you think your life is? (Lol, the effect is working, so carry on! 😀 ) Can I just say, I didn't like this Mira – somehow I knew it wouldn't last.

    Come on, Tobi. Stop being indifferent to your brother and let him see that you care too, just not too much that it is preventing you from moving on! It drives him crazy, and you need to support him at this point in your life! Also, you're expecting another child? Yay!!! And Clara is going through a rebellious streak? How so? Also, what's it like trying to avoid the paparazzi, juggling your games and family? How do you do it?

    OK, questions over. Awesome update! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Well, my dictionary says, “pacifier is a device for an infant to suck or bite on”. And since Stefan is acting like a stubborn baby, I thought this was what he needed. Something to bite on. 😀


        1. Haha he could definitely take a few lessons in maturity from his brother, that’s for sure! I feel for the poor guy though. It would suck to not get an answer… Though maybe Tobi is right that he needs to just accept it and move on!

          Liked by 1 person

      1. Hahaha well “Papa” is just the German word for “Dad” 😛 But in English the word definitely has a “little kid” connotation, so it probably doesn’t help reading it that way XD


      2. I think for me it’s more that the word “papa” carries an emotional value. Attachment. Like, sure, a man you don’t know can technically be your father, but not your dad. The latter is earned, it’s more than just biology. If he just called him a Vater I’d understand that. But papa is taking it all a bit overboard (sort of as he has done with the whole ordeal :))

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Aha, I totally see what you’re saying now (and that is intentional! Except for when they were little, Tobi always says “Vater” while Stefan still says “Papa”). Good catch! And yeah… Stefan is always overboard lmao

          Liked by 1 person

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