I just don’t understand.
As of today, it’s been three months. THREE friggin’ months.
And we haven’t heard a thing.
I mean, I know sending a letter overseas can take some time. I was ready for a long wait… I kept telling myself I could be patient.
And at first, it wasn’t so bad. The kids were home for summer break, I was working at my internship, Mira and I started dating… There was a lot to keep me busy.
But after about a month or so, that was when I really started to worry.
And it’s only gotten worse ever since.
I keep trying to talk to Tobi about it, but with the football season back on, it’s really hard to find time to talk to him… He’s got practice every day, and games every weekend, so he’s away a lot, of course. And when he is home, he’s always so busy with Jocelyne and Lucas…
I’ve managed to corner him a few times though. I just wanna know what he thinks of this whole thing, y’know? I mean, I can’t be the only one panicking, can I?
Tobi sure likes to make it feel that way.
He’s just so… indifferent about this whole thing. And he keeps giving me the same lines, again and again.
“He probably thinks we’re crazy or something.”
“It’s not like we have any PROOF.”
“Maybe he just doesn’t give a damn.”
“We aren’t any worse off than we were before.”
“Sure it sucks, but maybe we need to just move on.”
He makes me so fucking mad. How can he talk about this like it’s no big deal?! I mean sure, I know he’s been kinda skeptical about this whole thing from the beginning… But back when we sent that letter, I really thought he’d started coming around, y’know?
I swear to God, it’s like the universe hates me or something. First my internship leaves me without a job offer, then Mira and I break it off, and now my Bruder doesn’t give a shit about our real Papa ignoring us. For months.
But… why?! I just don’t get it.
I haven’t met her a lot, but Nora really seems like such a nice woman. I kinda figured Joshua would be the same, y’know? And in every interview I’ve seen, her Bruder sounds so funny and down-to-earth. Kind. Warm. A family man…
The type of guy I’d always imagined my Papa would be.
How can he just ignore us like this?!
Even if he thinks we’re completely batshit crazy, can’t he have the fucking decency to write us back and SAY so?!
What if Tobi’s right? Maybe he really doesn’t give a shit about us…
I don’t even know what to do anymore. I keep thinking maybe we should try writing again, but I don’t have the address memorized, and Tobi just keeps blowing me off every time I mention it.
What the Hell am I supposed to do?!
It really fucking sucks.