I almost forgot just how much I love babies.
Their sweet little gurgles. The softness of their skin. The way they smell.
I still remember when my boys were this small. Those sweet little babies saved my life. And when I look at them now… I can’t believe how fast the time has gone. Stefan’s already looking at universities. Tobi’s a father. How the Hell did they grow up so fast?
Every time I look at my beautiful Clara, I just keep thinking the same thing – Never get older. Just stay this way forever.
Yeah right. If only.
I know this can’t last forever… Soon enough she’ll be walking, and talking… And so will my little grandbabies.
Shit. I still can’t believe I’m a friggin’ grandmother. I’m not even forty!
Jonas won’t stop teasing me about it. We were talking about it last night before bed, and he just gives me one of his stupid smiles and tells me I’m a “GILF”.
I was almost afraid to ask what it meant, at first. But he was pretty damn eager to show me. And… yeah. Now I get it.
I love that fucking weirdo so much.
And when I think of how much fun we have together, how amazing our marriage is… I just keep praying Tobi and Colette will have what we have someday.
And it all starts tomorrow…
I hate to say it, but I almost feel sick thinking about it. I’m so happy for both of them. Really, I am. But…
I still don’t think I can handle knowing that Diego is officially going to be part of my grandchildren’s lives. My son’s life. My life…
I think I’ve barely spoken ten words to him since this whole thing started. And he won’t even try to look at me anymore.
But I just don’t know how much longer we can keep this up, y’know?
Something’s gotta give.
And I’m terrified to find out what will happen when it does.