Okay, all this shopping around for fancy clothes is giving me PTSD flashbacks to when Mama and Jonas got married.
No, but seriously. I really hate this… The things I do for my Bruder, huh?
But I guess it could be worse. At least I don’t have to wear a real tux or anything. Oh God, could you imagine?
Lucky for me, Tobi and Colette aren’t having a real wedding… Just a trip to town hall to sign the paperwork and a quick little ceremony in the backyard. They still seem really excited about it though. It’s pretty much all anyone’s been talking about in this house for weeks (well, that and how cute the babies are).
And speaking of the babies… Yeah, they’re actually pretty damn cute. Even my new little Schwester… Halb-Schwester, I mean. Still, it’s kinda hard not to feel kind of… Weird when I see Mama holding her. But I try not to let it bother me. And most of the time, it works.
And as for Jonas… Well, you’d think finally having his own kid would make him lay off and stop trying to be my Papa. But you’d be wrong. I mean, he’s actually kinda cool most of the time… Definitely less annoying than back when I was a little kid. But sometimes, he still…
Katrina’s been acting really weird lately. Checking out other guys and stuff. And it’s pretty damn annoying… But what’s even more annoying is Jonas. One comment about it at dinner one night, and he won’t leave me alone! He keeps hounding me about it, and trying to give me all this stupid girl advice.
Whatever. If I want girl advice, I’ll ask grandpa. Or maybe even Tobi. I mean damn, he’s getting married in two weeks. I guess he must know what he’s doing (well, minus the knocking-up-his-girlfriend part).
And speaking of which… Look, don’t ever tell Tobi I said this, but I’m really proud of him for doing the right thing with Colette. Sticking together, getting married… Being a good Papa, y’know? Jocelyne and Lucas really don’t know how good they have it.
I can’t help but think of how different our lives might have been if our Papa had done that too, y’know? But I guess I’ll never know… It’s way too late for that.
But… it’s not too late to finally have that talk with Mama. I mean, now that the babies are born and the wedding’s gonna be out of the way… I think I’m ready. I need her to stop being afraid. I need her to just tell me the truth.
I need to know who my Papa is.