Y’know, I really thought that for once in my life, I could feel happy and excited about having a baby.
And I always thought becoming a grandmother would be one of the best experiences of my life…
And that it wouldn’t happen for another ten years or so.
Just shows how wrong I was, I guess.
Everything has gone to shit in this family. Everything. I’m not even sure Dr. Durand can help with this one.
It’s crazy how much can change in just a few months.
Jonas and I were so damn happy when we first found out about the baby. It was a long time coming – for both of us. Jonas has always wanted kids. And he’s been an amazing father to both of my boys, but… I know how much he wanted a child of his own. And last year, he told me he finally felt ready.
And that’s when I realized that I was ready for it too.
Back when I had the boys… That was such a horrible time in my life. I wasn’t… me. And I fucked up so much – before and after they were born. Even now, I don’t think I’ve completely forgiven myself for it. Maybe I never will.
But I finally feel like I’m in a place where I can do this thing right – Have a child with the love of my life. Be the best mother I can be.
Jonas and I both knew there’d be some backlash – especially from Stefan. We knew it wouldn’t be easy, but we prepared ourselves for the worst. And we knew we’d be able to get us all through it, just like we always do.
Except it turns out that wasn’t the worst.
Far from it.
I wonder if this is how mãe and dad felt when they found out I was having the boys… Shocked. Sick. And just so sad.
Hadn’t Jonas and I taught Tobi better than that? How could he have been so careless?! I just can’t believe that one of my babies… My little boy, he…
Well, I guess he’s not a little boy anymore.
I’m still trying to wrap my head around this whole thing… And failing pretty miserably. These damn hormones aren’t helping. And neither is being in this stuffy old rental house.
We moved out last week, and we’ll be here until after the babies are born. Dad and mãe have been saving up for some renovations for a while now – adding some extra rooms, and giving the whole house a pretty big makeover. It’s a plan they’ve been working on for the past couple of years… They just thought they had more time before it’d be necessary.
Jonas and I just figured we’d use Gabriela’s old room for the baby, but now…
Well, now we’re gonna need a lot more room.
Especially with Colette coming to stay.
God, I still can’t believe this is real.
I just about had a heart attack when Tobi told us. Yes, told us. He didn’t even ask.
He sat all of us down and told us flat out – Colette’s coming to live with us. As if that’s his decision to make!
At first, I actually thought he was joking. Wishful thinking, I guess.
But he was quick to make sure we knew how serious he really was – And what the alternative would be if we said no.
There’s no way one of my babies is leaving the damn country. Over my dead body.
But he really has his heart set on being with her. So that really only left us with one option.
And, once I calmed down…
I actually felt pretty damn proud.
How many sixteen year olds would be mature enough to make that kind of decision? How many teenage boys would support their girlfriend the way he has?
It’s just… I wish it was anyone but her.
Or really… Anyone else’s daughter but Diego’s.
Jonas and I knew we had to talk to Colette’s parents about this whole mess. There was no other way around it. But how the Hell was I ever gonna get the courage to pick up that phone?
Thank God for Jonas. He stepped right in and took care of it. He was the brave one where I was a coward. Strong where I was weak. Just like he’s always been.
But I know it wasn’t easy for him, either.
There was a lot of heated back-and-forth for a few days.
And lots of tears… from all of us.
But now it’s decided – Colette’s coming to stay with us… indefinitely.
She’ll be here in two weeks.
With her parents.
Both of them.