Month: April 2016

3.30: Guess Not

I just don’t understand.

As of today, it’s been three months. THREE friggin’ months.

And we haven’t heard a thing.

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I mean, I know sending a letter overseas can take some time. I was ready for a long wait… I kept telling myself I could be patient.

And at first, it wasn’t so bad. The kids were home for summer break, I was working at my internship, Mira and I started dating… There was a lot to keep me busy.

04-17-16_9-18-19 PM

But after about a month or so, that was when I really started to worry.

And it’s only gotten worse ever since.

I keep trying to talk to Tobi about it, but with the football season back on, it’s really hard to find time to talk to him… He’s got practice every day, and games every weekend, so he’s away a lot, of course. And when he is home, he’s always so busy with Jocelyne and Lucas…

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I’ve managed to corner him a few times though. I just wanna know what he thinks of this whole thing, y’know? I mean, I can’t be the only one panicking, can I?

Tobi sure likes to make it feel that way.

04-17-16_10-18-26 PM

He’s just so… indifferent about this whole thing. And he keeps giving me the same lines, again and again.

“He probably thinks we’re crazy or something.”

“It’s not like we have any PROOF.”

“Maybe he just doesn’t give a damn.”

“We aren’t any worse off than we were before.”

“Sure it sucks, but maybe we need to just move on.”

Seriously?

04-17-16_10-22-44 PM

He makes me so fucking mad. How can he talk about this like it’s no big deal?! I mean sure, I know he’s been kinda skeptical about this whole thing from the beginning… But back when we sent that letter, I really thought he’d started coming around, y’know?

Guess not.

04-17-16_9-47-12 PM

I swear to God, it’s like the universe hates me or something. First my internship leaves me without a job offer, then Mira and I break it off, and now my Bruder doesn’t give a shit about our real Papa ignoring us. For months.

But… why?! I just don’t get it.

I haven’t met her a lot, but Nora really seems like such a nice woman. I kinda figured Joshua would be the same, y’know? And in every interview I’ve seen, her Bruder sounds so funny and down-to-earth. Kind. Warm. A family man…

The type of guy I’d always imagined my Papa would be.

How can he just ignore us like this?!

04-17-16_9-49-54 PM

Even if he thinks we’re completely batshit crazy, can’t he have the fucking decency to write us back and SAY so?!

What if Tobi’s right? Maybe he really doesn’t give a shit about us…

I don’t even know what to do anymore. I keep thinking maybe we should try writing again, but I don’t have the address memorized, and Tobi just keeps blowing me off every time I mention it.

04-17-16_10-29-46 PM

What the Hell am I supposed to do?!

Fuck.

This sucks.

It really fucking sucks.

04-17-16_9-58-07 PM

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Interlude: Dear Mr. Yuen

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Interlude: Hi Nora

Note: You will have to click on the screenshots with text in order view them full size and be able to read them. Apologies to people who are on mobile… It will be a bit trickier for you to read, sorry! Enjoy!

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Thank you JoieWilder for penning Nora’s email in this chapter!

3.28: Has to Be

Is it really possible that the answer I’ve been searching for my WHOLE life has been on a little 6x9cm card this whole time?

I wonder how many years this has been right under our noses…

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I gave up hoping that I’d find my real Papa a long time ago, ever since Mama told me the truth. And I guess, hard as it was, I just learned to accept it. I’d never find him. It was impossible. Hopeless.

And I would just have to deal with that.

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But when I looked at that card… I felt something. Something I’d never felt before.

And when I confronted Tobi about it, I could see in his eyes that he did, too. Why else would he have kept that old thing? He got rid of the rest of his baseball cards years ago…

I just can’t believe he kept this from me. He keeps trying to play it off as not a big deal. He’s saying it’s all in my head.

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And at first, I almost believed him. I mean, it would be CRAZY, right?

But… I’ve kinda been doing some research on this guy. This Joshua Yuen. Could he really be my Vater?

I mean obviously the first clue is his face. Right here on this card.

His hair’s the exact same shade as Tobi’s. Skin too. And according to his stats, Joshua is 6’4”. Tobi’s just an inch or two shy of that. And he’s always been the tallest one in the family…

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And as for myself, well, I’ve been studying my face in the mirror more than I think I ever have. If anyone saw me, they’d probably think I’m vain as Hell. But the more I look, the more I see it. We have the same mouth. The same smile. Almost the same nose, too.

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I’ve been looking up some of his interviews online too. And his voice… It’s really deep. Warm, y’know?

Like mine.

And speaking of interviews… Well, I think I finally found it – the one thing that makes me SURE it’s him. It HAS to be.

Grandpa was able to help me dig up some old paper copies of some American newspapers down at the archives. I just made up some bogus excuse about researching for my dissertation… Worked like a charm.

And look what I found. It’s from an old interview, from about 18 years ago…

newspaper

I think I’ve re-read that interview about a hundred times, putting it all together.

He said he was in Windenburg during the summer, six years before this interview… That’s the summer right before Tobi and I were born. Our birthday’s in May. So that would mean that sometime in August, Mama would have had to…

Well, I don’t wanna think about it too much. But you know what I’m saying.

And “not in the best place”? “Young love gone wrong”? It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what that could mean. I mean, back when Katrina dumped me, it was awful. And I definitely did some things I’m not proud of…

Anyway, it all fits. All of it.

I really don’t think I can believe it. I mean holy shit. I’ve been dreaming of finding my Papa for about as long as I can remember. And now, after all these years… I think I’ve finally done it.

It has to be him.

It has to be.

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Thanks to JoieWilder for writing the interview!

3.27: Hook, Line, & Sinker

Note: Nudity warning! We get some “Tobi tushy” in this one! XD after describing a particular moment in this chapter, I couldn’t help but take a screenshot of it… 😛

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I don’t think I can decide who I’m more annoyed with right now – Stefan or the kids.

It’s a tough call.

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I guess I should cut the kiddos a little more slack. I mean, they’re only six. But they really should know better than to go barging into our room like that.

We’ve been getting even more strict about it lately, ever since Lucas walked in on Lettie and I when we were, well… in kind of a, um… compromising position…

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Thank God he’s still too young to really know what he was seeing. But still.

So now we are ALL about knocking on doors and staying out of bedrooms without permission. And they’ve been doing a pretty good job of it, until today…

I just can’t believe they had to go and make it worse by finding that stupid old baseball card.

And now Stefan’s blowing this whole thing out of proportion. As always.

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He’s making all these dumb accusations – that I “hid” the card from him, and should have shown him years ago. He’s acting like this is some horrific betrayal or something.

Yeah, whatever.

This is exactly why I never showed it to him in the first place.

I mean sure, I can see a little resemblance there. I think I spent longer than I’d like to admit studying this guy’s face back when I first found the card. I was kinda… drawn to it, y’know? I’m not quite sure what made me keep it. I always told myself it was because it was Nora’s Bruder, but…

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I dunno. It was all just some stupid fantasy, I guess. I almost fell for it… And now Stefan definitely has – hook, line, and sinker.

But I know now that it was all just wishful thinking – like that stupid game me and Stefan used to play when we were kids. I still remember how I used to dream that my Papa was a pirate, or a superhero… So damn stupid. And I’m not about to add “celebrity athlete” to the list.

I gave up on finding my biological Vater a long time ago. I mean, we don’t even know where to start anyway. And we already have a Papa. Jonas has done so much for us. He’s always loved us like we’re his own kids. Hell, as far as I’m concerned, we are his kids.

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Why would I need anything more than that?

But I guess it’ll never be enough for Stefan. And now he just won’t shut up about this Yuen guy. Ridiculous. It’s not like this is the only blonde white guy in the world with a smile that vaguely looks like Stefan’s.

He’s just seeing what he wants to see.

Stefan needs to learn to just let it go. Leave it alone, y’know? But this is my Bruder, so I know he won’t. Not until he ends up disappointed… Again.

And I’m not looking forward to dealing with what’ll happen when he does.

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Interlude: Hide and Seek

Note: Before continuing the story, I wanted to let everyone know that one of my amazing friends, ra3rei, did something really wonderful and wrote a short story about Diego to give him further closure after his conversation with Mari 🙂 It is amazing, and is 100% “canon” in the A2A universe ^_^

There is actually quite a time jump between our last chapter and this one (surprise! :P) and her story takes place in-between, so now would be a perfect time to pause and read it if you can! ^_^

Thanks guys! On with the story!

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“Come on! Onkel Stefan will NEVER find us in here.” Lucas beckoned his sister and Clara closer to the bedroom door.

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Mari and Jonas were both working that day, so Stefan had agreed to watch the children while Tobi brought Colette for her latest ultrasound. It had not taken long for the three of them to rope Stefan into a game of hide and seek.

Jocelyne could distantly hear her uncle’s voice at the bottom of the stairs as he continued counting. He’d promised he’d give them extra time to hide this round… But Jocelyne wasn’t sure how much extra. And he was already past 30…

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She raced forward eagerly to join her brother, then hesitated, biting her lip uncertainly. “Luc… That’s maman and Papa’s room… We aren’t allowed if they aren’t here.” Jocelyne shook her head slowly as she spoke.

The little boy nodded. “Exactly. Onkel Stefan knows we aren’t ‘posed to… So he won’t ever think of lookin’ in here.” Lucas replied happily.

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Jocelyne said nothing for a moment. “I just really don’t wanna get in trouble…”

Clara rolled her eyes in annoyance. “Stop being such a baby, Jocelyne.”

Beside her, Lucas snickered.

Jocelyne narrowed her eyes in anger at her brother and aunt. They always loved to pick on her, and call her a goody-two-shoes, or a baby. But she was the oldest! Maybe only by three minutes with her brother… But it still counted, didn’t it? I’m not a baby! She thought angrily.

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She said nothing, and instead barged forward past the two other children and into her parents’ bedroom. Lucas and Clara followed close behind, flicking on the light switch and closing the door behind them as they entered.

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Jocelyne’s eyes widened in amazement as she stared up at the large display of various football trophies and awards her Papa had won. Woah… She thought, admiring the sparkling metal statues and bright, shiny ribbons. Jocelyne wanted nothing more than to open the glass case and touch them… But something told her that her Papa would not be very happy if she did.

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“Hey look! Cool!” Lucas’ voice reached his sister’s ears. Jocelyne turned, and watched as he slid a large, cardboard box from beneath their parents’ bed and began digging eagerly through its contents.

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“Aren’t we supposed to be hiding? I betcha Stefan’s looking already!” Clara sighed in annoyance as she joined Lucas near the mysterious box.

“I was gonna hide under the bed.” Lucas shrugged. “Then I found this.” He reached inside the box, and pulled out a small rectangular piece of cardstock. “Cool, a baseball card!”

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Unable to contain her curiosity, Jocelyne drew closer, and peeked over his shoulder curiously. “Baseball?”

“One of those funny American sports.” He explained, studying the card closely for a moment. “Hey, it kinda looks like Onkel Stefan, doesn’t it? They’ve got the same smile…”

Clara snatched the card forcefully from his hand. “No way, it looks like Tobi.” She explained impatiently.

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“You’re crazy. That doesn’t look like my Papa!”

“Yes it does! Their hair’s the same.”

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While Lucas and Clara bickered, Jocelyne peered over their shoulders at the picture of the man on the card. His golden hair and handsome face reminded her of a character from a fairytale… Prince Charming. She thought with a smile. But she didn’t want the others to laugh at her, so instead she said “I dunno. He kinda looks like both of ‘em.”

The heavy booming of footsteps from the hall made all three children jump.

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With a soft creak, the door swung open and Stefan crossed over the threshold, shaking his head in disappointment. “What are you doing in here?!” He demanded.

“Nothing!” A trio of frightened voices replied in unison.

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Lucas tried to kick the box back beneath the bed as Clara did her best to conceal the baseball card behind her back. Jocelyne simply shuffled her feet awkwardly, and tried to look as innocent as she could.

Stefan shook his head slowly. “You guys know you aren’t supposed to be in here without permission.”

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“Well… Maman goes into MY room all the time without askin’ me!” Lucas countered.

Stefan’s expression softened slightly and a small laugh escaped his lips. “Yeah, to clean up the giant mess you make, not to snoop around in your stuff…” He furrowed his brow slightly as his gaze fell on his little sister. “What are you holding, Clara?”

The little girl hesitated for a moment, then held out the card quite reluctantly. He took it from her, raising an eyebrow curiously.

Stefan gazed down at it for several long moments. At first, he almost appeared confused. But the longer he looked at it, the paler his face seemed to become.

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“Hello?” A sweet voice called from down the stairs. “Anyone home?”

Oh no… Maman and Papa!

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“What’s going on in here?!”

The three children simply stared helplessly at one another. Stefan continued staring at the card.

Tobias’ eyes fell on the cardboard box beside the bed. “How many times have we talked about privacy in this house?” He asked sharply.

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Jocelyne stared down at the floor, ashamed.

“You know better than to do something like this.” Colette chimed in seriously. “You all do.”

“Sorry, Maman.” Lucas was the first to break the silence. “We promise we’ll never do it again.”

“That’s right. You won’t.” Tobias nodded firmly. “Now go.” He gestured toward the door.

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Jocelyne and Lucas didn’t need telling twice. The twins scurried out into the hallway, but lingered in the doorway for a few moments, waiting for their third partner-in-crime to join them.

Clara put her hands on her hips. “You might be their Papa… But you’re just my Bruder. You can’t tell me what to do!”

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Tobias smirked and gave a small shrug. “Maybe not. But I can tell Mama and Papa what you were up to…”

The little girl left the room without another word.

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While the other two children headed down the hallway toward the playroom, Jocelyne hesitated, and instead leaned in close to the bedroom door, trying to listen to the conversation on the other side. She could only make out bits and pieces of what was being said.

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It was her mother who spoke first. “– you doing with that old thing?” She asked.

“How long have you –” Her uncle’s fragmented reply was stern and serious. “—never shown me before?”

Then finally she heard her father’s voice, strong and clear. “Stefan, it’s just an old –” Jocelyne struggled to make out the rest of the sentence. “—matter so much anyway?”

“Come on, Joce.” Lucas called to his sister, breaking her concentration. “We don’t wanna get in even more trouble.”

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Jocelyne knew he was right. The little girl let out a soft sigh and abandoned her eavesdropping.

But try as she might, she just couldn’t stop thinking about the peculiar look on her uncle’s face when he saw that card, and the strange bits of conversation she’d heard through the door.

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There’s something really funny going on. Jocelyne realized.

She just wished she knew what it was.