3.7: Confused

I messed up.

And now everyone hates me.

But they just don’t GET it!

I was already still kinda mad about what happened the other day at the park, but I was trying to make myself forget about it. “Move on”, or something. That’s what grownups always say you should try to do, right? And I almost did, too.

But then tonight at dinner… Tobi ruined EVERYTHING.

He called Jonas our Papa!

How could he say that?!

He’s a traitor! And not just to me… To our real Papa. He’s still out there somewhere. Someday he’ll come home. And when he does, stupid Tobias will see that he was WRONG.

Anyway, Jonas and Mama were SO happy. And that just made me even MORE mad. None of them care how I feel or what I think!  It’s just not fair!

But… I know I shouldn’t have yelled.

I try really hard to keep it inside. But sometimes it just kinda comes out. Like tonight.

Everyone looked so sad. Mama, Tobi, Jonas… Even Tante Gabriela and my grandparents. I made them all so upset. And that made ME even more upset. UGH!

Tobi tried to talk to me after dinner. And usually he’s pretty good at making me feel better… But not tonight. He kept telling me I was being mean to Jonas. He said I should say I’m SORRY!

Like I said, he just doesn’t get it.

After he left, I heard Mama coming… No one ever wants to leave me alone. It sucks stinks. But then Jonas stopped her. “I’ll talk to him.” I heard him say.

Oh no. Even worse.

I knew there was NO WAY it was gonna end good.

But… Then it kinda did.

And now I just feel really confused.

He didn’t yell at me. He didn’t tell me to say sorry. He didn’t say I made him feel sad.

He asked me if I was okay. He said I never have to call him Papa if I don’t want to. He told me he hopes we can still be friends…

And I kinda didn’t know what to say. So I just sorta shrugged.

Then he tried to hug me.

And then he left me alone.

You know how in the movies the stepparents are always super creepy and scary and evil and mean?

I think it would be a lot easier if Jonas was like that.