I knew it. I knew I’m no good. I can’t change. I can’t. No matter how hard I try, or how much Humberto wants me to, or how much I want to, I just CAN’T.
I went out alone tonight. Humberto was tired from work and felt like staying in.
And I should have stayed with him. But I didn’t. Because I’m a fucking screwup.
Miguel and Natalia barely call me anymore. Say I’m “boring” now that I’m hanging out with Humberto so much. And I guess I can’t blame them for feeling that way…
Still, it sure felt lonely tonight at that bar without them.
But I wasn’t lonely for long.
I don’t know why I felt so bad about it after. I mean, Humberto’s not my boyfriend. We aren’t exclusive. We aren’t… anything, really. No matter what he seems to think.
And no matter how much I want it.
I hadn’t been with anyone else but him in weeks. I thought I could be good. I thought I could change for him. But tonight just proves it. I can’t. I’m a slut. That’s who I am.
“Old habits die hard.”
That’s what they always say, isn’t it?