2.28: Wrong

Looks like I haven’t touched this thing in a few weeks. Just been too busy, I guess. Not like there’s much to say anyway.

Nothing new. Nothing exciting.

Well… Almost nothing.

There’s Humberto, of course. I already made the biggest friggin’ mistake of my life by getting in bed with him… So I figured I may as well roll with it.

And he’s, well… Aw, fuck it. I’ll be honest this time.

He’s amazing. (And I don’t just mean in bed, either).

02-10-16_9-07-19 PM

I don’t think I’ve ever met someone so… real. I don’t know how else to say it. People always talk about “wearing your heart on your sleeve”. That’s Humberto to a T. And it’s a kind heart. A warm one. Nothing like mine.

02-10-16_8-56-17 PM

And he’s just so passionate, y’know? About lots of things, really. But mostly that music school of his. Hearing him talk about it… It’s like that excitement it contagious or something. He’s so optimistic and driven… The exact opposite of me, actually. Kinda funny, huh?

02-10-16_9-00-27 PM

I bet it all sounds pretty romantic and all that shit… And that’s because it is. It’s romantic. It’s perfect. And so is he. Sometimes I look at him, and I feel like I’m really starting to

But it’s not.

There’s definitely something wrong with him… Because he’s too fucking blind to see everything that’s wrong with ME. He won’t SHUT UP about how “amazing” I am. “Smart”, “Funny”, “Beautiful”… He thinks he knows me, but he doesn’t. That’s not me. I’m worthless. I’m no good for him. I’ll just drag him down. And I keep waiting for the day when he realizes it. Because when he does

02-11-16_9-09-26 PM

There’s only one reason he keeps hanging out with me… And it’s right between my legs. I’ve known that ever since the first day we met. Of course, the reason I let him hang out with me is between his too, so… Fair is fair. And at least we have one Hell of a good time together. I’m still waiting for the day when he wises up and learns he doesn’t have to sweet-talk me with any of that deep or romantic shit anymore. I’m already wrapped around his little finger. And the rest of his fingers too, for that matter…

02-10-16_8-51-31 PM

I’m just waiting for him to finally admit it, you know? I’m only good for one thing. I’m too fucked up to be with anyone. Especially him. He deserves better than me. And I certainly don’t deserve anyone like him.

02-11-16_9-07-57 PM

I’m just too much of a fucking coward to finally grow a pair and end it already. But it’s only a matter of time before he figures it out and does it himself. I know he will. I’ve known since the first day we met. I can never be what he wants me to be. I can’t. I’m no good for him. I’m no good for anyone.

02-11-16_9-06-35 PM 02-10-16_9-17-15 PM

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33 thoughts on “2.28: Wrong

  1. Hm, let me get this straight. She thinks he’s amazing and romantic and too good for her, and yet she believes he’s with her just for the woohoo? If it was the case, then he would be just perfect for her, wouldn’t he? Using own reasoning.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Mari logic 😉 She has such a warped image of herself that she tells herself he’s just in it for the sex, but she knows it’s not true (hence all the crossed out part). Mari is constantly fighting an internal battle between the truth and what she sees/believes. It is a painful struggle!

      Liked by 1 person

        1. That is how I feel every time I write one of her chapters BELIEVE ME. Lmao my boyfriend laughs because I complain all the time about Mari and I’m always asking “is it normal to be mad at your own character and irritated at your own chapter?” XD Unfortunately I must stay true to her character… Which means making her so annoying hehehe

          Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh, my goodness. I LOVE that you used the same screenshots/same situations for screenshots as the interlude to show the similarities and differences between Humberto and Mari’s thoughts on their relationship. That is so clever and provides such a deep understanding of both of them. Awesome!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yay! You noticed! Omg your comment made me really happy because I thought people might find it weird that I did that XD Yes, they both have such different perspectives on the relationship! Thank you for your comment ^_^

      Liked by 1 person

  3. OH-EM-GOODNESS!! Ok… Ok…

    (ahem)

    A. You’re a freakin genius for using the same screenshots from Humberto’s chapter!!! Looooooooooved thiiiiiiis! I always love to see the other perspective of the same situation. Sunnyshay used to do that a lot and it was amazing.

    B. Oh my stars! (clutches pearls) Honesty? Did I hear honesty? Heavens! :-p

    C. You should have seen my face reading this lol. It started out like 😀 and slowly dropped throughout the rest and ended like this 😦 lol Poor girl!!! I’m less mad at her now and just want to go hug her…like I want her parents to do!!! :-p

    D. Ummmmm…I think I’m done. I loved this so much! Can’t wait to see what happens next! (See…you like my unspoiled comments :-p )

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hahahaha another epic comment from you, Jes 😛 I’m glad you noticed and enjoyed my parallel with using the same screenshots!!! 🙂 And yes, Humberto is bringing out Mari’s honesty a bit more (for better and for worse… Hehehe). And I am glad Mari is becoming a bit more sympathetic. Her bitchiness is truly just an act to mask all of her self-worth issues. She’s still ANNOYING AS HELL but I can’t help it. I have a soft spot for her 😛

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I have just rad the interlude and this chapter one after the other and at first I was vaguly confused at the same screen shots and I thought my computer was glitching but I now realise that was deliberate and I was going to comment: That’s so cool, and so clever; it was super effective, but others have beaten me to it. This is the problem with having no computer for three days! So instead I will say:

    Oh, Mari. Just WISE UP ALREADY AND LEARN TO RESPECT YOURSELF!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. And WordPress sent my comment before I could finish it because I hit tab instead of CapsLock (I think!) Anyway,
    (Sorry about the shouting in capital letter, I’m not criticizing Mari or you or anyone)
    Because Humberto is worried about you and can’t you see he’s trying to help you and maybe if you let him you might stop being so broken! (I have now realized you are having trouble fixing yourself! Also, we all think you’re awesome; we read about you every other day!)
    I love the story Citizen, and how it is going! Mari is a great character to read about and I send her lots of virtual hugs. Can’t wait for the next update! 🙂
    PS, Will one of you teach me how to pronounce Humberto? 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahahaha I liked your comment either way! XD And Humberto is pronounced “Oom-bear-tow” (as in the “oom” of “room”, “bear” like a polar bear, “tow” like a tow truck. XD) that is a horrible way of writing it phonetically but I hope it helps!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. “And that’s because it is. It’s romantic. It’s perfect. And so is he. Sometimes I look at him, and I feel like I’m really starting to…” <– for the love of all the freezer bunnies in the simuniverse PLEASE FINISH YOUR SENTENCES….I digress LOL…let's fill in the blanks…"..I'm really starting to FALL HEAD OVER HEALS IN LOVE WITH THIS SPANISH HOT TAMALE!!" There someone said it LMAO.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Oh my gosh! Diego did a number on her. Her mind is so f’d up because of that entire experience as well as he firey nature as a kid causing her to be blamed for so much and getting punished for it. I really hope Humberto is able to help her crack this facade and accept the fact that he really loves her and she’s worth every bit of it. Man this chapter really got to me 🙁

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sorry for this one! Mari’s journey is… difficult. Emotionally exhausting. A rollercoaster! She has really severe emotional problems and needs help. This was so tough to write!

      I promise a light will come at the end of this long, dark tunnel!

      Liked by 1 person

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