2.28: Wrong

Looks like I haven’t touched this thing in a few weeks. Just been too busy, I guess. Not like there’s much to say anyway.

Nothing new. Nothing exciting.

Well… Almost nothing.

There’s Humberto, of course. I already made the biggest friggin’ mistake of my life by getting in bed with him… So I figured I may as well roll with it.

And he’s, well… Aw, fuck it. I’ll be honest this time.

He’s amazing. (And I don’t just mean in bed, either).

02-10-16_9-07-19 PM

I don’t think I’ve ever met someone so… real. I don’t know how else to say it. People always talk about “wearing your heart on your sleeve”. That’s Humberto to a T. And it’s a kind heart. A warm one. Nothing like mine.

02-10-16_8-56-17 PM

And he’s just so passionate, y’know? About lots of things, really. But mostly that music school of his. Hearing him talk about it… It’s like that excitement it contagious or something. He’s so optimistic and driven… The exact opposite of me, actually. Kinda funny, huh?

02-10-16_9-00-27 PM

I bet it all sounds pretty romantic and all that shit… And that’s because it is. It’s romantic. It’s perfect. And so is he. Sometimes I look at him, and I feel like I’m really starting to

But it’s not.

There’s definitely something wrong with him… Because he’s too fucking blind to see everything that’s wrong with ME. He won’t SHUT UP about how “amazing” I am. “Smart”, “Funny”, “Beautiful”… He thinks he knows me, but he doesn’t. That’s not me. I’m worthless. I’m no good for him. I’ll just drag him down. And I keep waiting for the day when he realizes it. Because when he does

02-11-16_9-09-26 PM

There’s only one reason he keeps hanging out with me… And it’s right between my legs. I’ve known that ever since the first day we met. Of course, the reason I let him hang out with me is between his too, so… Fair is fair. And at least we have one Hell of a good time together. I’m still waiting for the day when he wises up and learns he doesn’t have to sweet-talk me with any of that deep or romantic shit anymore. I’m already wrapped around his little finger. And the rest of his fingers too, for that matter…

02-10-16_8-51-31 PM

I’m just waiting for him to finally admit it, you know? I’m only good for one thing. I’m too fucked up to be with anyone. Especially him. He deserves better than me. And I certainly don’t deserve anyone like him.

02-11-16_9-07-57 PM

I’m just too much of a fucking coward to finally grow a pair and end it already. But it’s only a matter of time before he figures it out and does it himself. I know he will. I’ve known since the first day we met. I can never be what he wants me to be. I can’t. I’m no good for him. I’m no good for anyone.

02-11-16_9-06-35 PM 02-10-16_9-17-15 PM

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33 Responses to 2.28: Wrong

  1. maladi777 says:

    Hm, let me get this straight. She thinks he’s amazing and romantic and too good for her, and yet she believes he’s with her just for the woohoo? If it was the case, then he would be just perfect for her, wouldn’t he? Using own reasoning.

    Liked by 2 people

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Mari logic 😉 She has such a warped image of herself that she tells herself he’s just in it for the sex, but she knows it’s not true (hence all the crossed out part). Mari is constantly fighting an internal battle between the truth and what she sees/believes. It is a painful struggle!

      Liked by 1 person

      • maladi777 says:

        Something definitely needs to happen soon. Cause I’m beginning to fight the urge to slap her hard. 😀

        Liked by 3 people

        • CitizenErased14 says:

          That is how I feel every time I write one of her chapters BELIEVE ME. Lmao my boyfriend laughs because I complain all the time about Mari and I’m always asking “is it normal to be mad at your own character and irritated at your own chapter?” XD Unfortunately I must stay true to her character… Which means making her so annoying hehehe

          Liked by 1 person

  2. rinellie says:

    Oh, my goodness. I LOVE that you used the same screenshots/same situations for screenshots as the interlude to show the similarities and differences between Humberto and Mari’s thoughts on their relationship. That is so clever and provides such a deep understanding of both of them. Awesome!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. silentwolfy101 says:

    Awwwww, Mari… 😦 *hugs*

    My comments have been reduced to screams of “DON’T DO IT!” and “Awwwwww, you poor thing…” Dammit Citizen…

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Jes2G says:

    OH-EM-GOODNESS!! Ok… Ok…

    (ahem)

    A. You’re a freakin genius for using the same screenshots from Humberto’s chapter!!! Looooooooooved thiiiiiiis! I always love to see the other perspective of the same situation. Sunnyshay used to do that a lot and it was amazing.

    B. Oh my stars! (clutches pearls) Honesty? Did I hear honesty? Heavens! :-p

    C. You should have seen my face reading this lol. It started out like 😀 and slowly dropped throughout the rest and ended like this 😦 lol Poor girl!!! I’m less mad at her now and just want to go hug her…like I want her parents to do!!! :-p

    D. Ummmmm…I think I’m done. I loved this so much! Can’t wait to see what happens next! (See…you like my unspoiled comments :-p )

    Liked by 2 people

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Hahahaha another epic comment from you, Jes 😛 I’m glad you noticed and enjoyed my parallel with using the same screenshots!!! 🙂 And yes, Humberto is bringing out Mari’s honesty a bit more (for better and for worse… Hehehe). And I am glad Mari is becoming a bit more sympathetic. Her bitchiness is truly just an act to mask all of her self-worth issues. She’s still ANNOYING AS HELL but I can’t help it. I have a soft spot for her 😛

      Liked by 1 person

    • Virtualee says:

      “Oh my stars! (clutches pearls) Honesty? Did I hear honesty? Heavens!” bahahahaha yes, yes you did.

      Liked by 2 people

  5. Trip says:

    Well, after the interlude…at least Mari has some sort of awareness? Sigh. 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Spottydog714 says:

    I have just rad the interlude and this chapter one after the other and at first I was vaguly confused at the same screen shots and I thought my computer was glitching but I now realise that was deliberate and I was going to comment: That’s so cool, and so clever; it was super effective, but others have beaten me to it. This is the problem with having no computer for three days! So instead I will say:

    Oh, Mari. Just WISE UP ALREADY AND LEARN TO RESPECT YOURSELF!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Spottydog714 says:

    And WordPress sent my comment before I could finish it because I hit tab instead of CapsLock (I think!) Anyway,
    (Sorry about the shouting in capital letter, I’m not criticizing Mari or you or anyone)
    Because Humberto is worried about you and can’t you see he’s trying to help you and maybe if you let him you might stop being so broken! (I have now realized you are having trouble fixing yourself! Also, we all think you’re awesome; we read about you every other day!)
    I love the story Citizen, and how it is going! Mari is a great character to read about and I send her lots of virtual hugs. Can’t wait for the next update! 🙂
    PS, Will one of you teach me how to pronounce Humberto? 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Virtualee says:

    “And that’s because it is. It’s romantic. It’s perfect. And so is he. Sometimes I look at him, and I feel like I’m really starting to…” <– for the love of all the freezer bunnies in the simuniverse PLEASE FINISH YOUR SENTENCES….I digress LOL…let's fill in the blanks…"..I'm really starting to FALL HEAD OVER HEALS IN LOVE WITH THIS SPANISH HOT TAMALE!!" There someone said it LMAO.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. kaffepigen says:

    God damn it Mari! Wake up already and smell the air! There’s romance in the air and it won’t go away so easily! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Simslover163 says:

    Come on Mari, wake up and smell the rose petals! There’s love in the air! Don’t miss this opportunity! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  11. No…:c hey how do you get her to write in the journal anyway? A mod?

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I love how you used almost all the same screenshots! 😀 gives a nice sense of symmetry. Or SIMmetry =p (I’ll show myself out)

    Liked by 1 person

  13. theceltygirly says:

    Ahhhh!!! I love the screenshot parallels.
    Mariiiii he loves youuuuu!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. kaycee39 says:

    Oh my gosh! Diego did a number on her. Her mind is so f’d up because of that entire experience as well as he firey nature as a kid causing her to be blamed for so much and getting punished for it. I really hope Humberto is able to help her crack this facade and accept the fact that he really loves her and she’s worth every bit of it. Man this chapter really got to me 🙁

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      Sorry for this one! Mari’s journey is… difficult. Emotionally exhausting. A rollercoaster! She has really severe emotional problems and needs help. This was so tough to write!

      I promise a light will come at the end of this long, dark tunnel!

      Liked by 1 person

  15. kaycee39 says:

    I pray to the Creator (😉) the light comes soon because man her journey is definitely exhausting and painful to witness. She deserves to feel happy.

    Liked by 1 person

    • CitizenErased14 says:

      I give you a lot of credit for sticking through it haha You’re so close to the end of the gen though 😀 Just hold tight 😉 ❤

      Like

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