Okay, so I’m pretty sure I have a stalker. Which is creepy as fuck.
If I ever turn up missing, or you find my body stuffed in a garbage bag somewhere, please tell the police to find Humberto Flores. Trust me, you’ll know the second you find him. He probably has a shrine in his house with locks of my hair and my chewed gum and other crazy shit in it.
Alright, maybe I’m exaggerating just a tiny bit. But seriously. This guy is WEIRD. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who wants to get in my pants so friggin’ badly… Jesus.
A few days after our little run-in at the café, he found me again! Typical night at the bar, and BAM, there he was! What the Hell?!
I called him on it, of course. What a freak! But he swears he wasn’t following me. “Just a coincidence.” He told me in that
sexy ridiculous accent of his. “Fate.” Yeah, sure…
Apparently he’d finished up a gig at one of the clubs in town, but decided to head somewhere more “quiet” for a drink after his set finished. Or at least, that was his excuse anyway. I still don’t trust this weirdo.
But it wasn’t like I had anything better to do, so I decided to humor him. And he was actually pretty
fun bearable to talk to, I guess. Sweet too. He told me all about his old life back in Moonlight Falls. Sounds kinda cool there, actually more interesting than this shithole of a city, at least. His mom seems like kind of a nutjob though. A fortune teller? Seriously? Guess I know where he gets it from now…
Besides that though, he’s really not so bad. And he was all excited to tell me about this crazy dream of his – opening a music school in the city. Wow.
I wish I had that kind of ambition, you know? Is this guy delusional, or what? Seemed really pumped to hear about how much I used to love the piano, too. And when he asked me why I’d stopped playing, you know what? I didn’t even have a good answer for him. Kinda got me thinking, I guess.
Anyway, I let him talk to me for way too long. Again. Guess I’m just too nice sometimes.
So nice, actually, that I let him keep following me around the whole friggin’ night. What the Hell is wrong with me? Not to mention him! Couldn’t he tell I had better things to do? He even managed to rope me into some of those lame bar games.
First it was foosball. What a snooze-fest! Beyond lame.
And I totally let him win, by the way.
And then he was SUCH a show-off at the dartboard. So obnoxious.
Wouldn’t even tell me his trick for the perfect bullseye, no matter how much I begged! It was awful.
But it gets worse.
I was so distracted by this loser that I didn’t even notice Miguel and Natalia leave without me. And then – get this – the bar actually CLOSED on us! They kicked us out and everything!
I wasted the WHOLE night with this creepy weirdo, and I couldn’t find one lousy guy to go home with before closing time? What the Hell?!
This guy’s bad news, I’m telling you. He really needs to stop stalking me and find some new friends. Or just grow a pair and admit he’s just looking to get in my pants.
Not like that’d be a challenge or anything. I mean have you SEEN this guy?
If he keeps this up, maybe I should look into a restraining order or something. I mean, he even asked for my number! Seriously?! I totally should have made up a fake one… But I just wasn’t thinking straight, I guess.
He’ll probably call me tomorrow or something.
I mean, he knows I’m not busy or anything, so hopefully he’ll
What a creep.
Featuring Humberto from VirtuaLee’s Cursed Beauty