2.12: Someday

Alright, shocker. I’m not gonna open with another rant about Natalia this time. Or even Lina. Not today, at least.

Remember a while ago, when I wrote about that horrible, humiliating, hide-under-the-covers-and-never-come-out-again conversation with my parents?

Well after chickening out for like, EVER, I finally sat down and talked to Diego about wanting to wait.

My birthday’s in a couple of weeks, which also means we’re coming up on our anniversary too. And, well it just felt like the right time to bring it up, y’know? I mean, we’ve already been waiting, I guess. But I wanted him to know that I wanted to wait a little longer… Not forever. Just… a while.

And even if it wasn’t quite as awkward as that conversation with my parents, it was about a million times scarier.

What if he thought I was being stupid? What if he didn’t want to wait? Would he dump me right then and there? Should I have even said anything at all? What if I was ruining everything by opening my big mouth?

I literally felt like I was gonna throw up… Like, LITERALLY literally. And I guess that would have solved part of the problem, at least. I mean, he’d never want me after that. And I probably wouldn’t have even blamed him. Gross!

Anyway, after all that panicking, it turned out I didn’t really have anything to worry about.

We talked about it for a few minutes, and he agreed we should wait, and that we shouldn’t do anything we aren’t comfortable with. “Hey, there’s no rush.” He promised. “We’ll wait until we’re both ready.”

And, of course, there’s plenty of other things we can do together in the meantime… Diego was sure to remind me of that.

Guess he’s a romantic like me after all.

People always talk about feeling like a weight’s been lifted off your shoulders. Well, I think I finally get what they mean. It really took so much of the pressure off… And I’m so glad he understands. But I guess it shouldn’t be that big of a surprise – I mean, Diego’s always been the only one who really “gets” me.

I guess moments like this are really what make me feel sure that it IS going to be him, someday.

God, I sound like my dad or something. He’s always really been a believer in destiny — that some things are just sorta ‘meant to be’. I guess I can kinda see where he gets that from… Back when I was a kid though, I always rolled my eyes at that stuff, even after talking to Auntie Ev.

But the longer Diego and I are together, the more I think I’m finally starting to see it… My future, my fate is with him. It has to be.

Someday we’ll be ready. Someday we’ll take that next step together.

And, well, when we finally do make it there, something tells me it will be worth the wait.