1:19: Time for a Change

Well, today I think I finally made up my mind.

Jade and I have been married for a while now, and things are pretty “settled”, y’know? We’ve got plenty of money saved up to buy the groceries, pay the bills every month, all that boring stuff. Boring, but important, I guess.

So today, I decided now’s as good a time as any for a change.

I’d been so unhappy with my job back at the office, and quitting it was one of the best decisions I think I’ve ever made.

And, well, now that I’ve got a couple years under my belt working down at the stadium…

I realize just how unhappy I am there, too.

I guess I kind of thought I’d have things figured out by now. I mean, I’m twenty five years old… I’ve been living here in Windenburg for almost five years. Happily married, house of my own… But somehow, I just haven’t figured out what I’m meant to do with my life…

I’ve been trying out so many things, but I guess nothing’s really “calling” to me… I mean, I’ve been gardening for a while now, practicing chess, and even painting, like mom and Danica.

And I guess I’m decent enough at those things but… I was decent at my desk job, too. And I’m decent at my job at the stadium.

But being good at something doesn’t mean it’s what you should spend the rest of your life doing… Does it? It sure doesn’t feel that way…

So tonight, when Jade came home from work, I decided it was time to tell her my decision – I’m going to quit my job and start fresh… Again.

I wasn’t sure how she was gonna take it, to be honest… But I knew this was what I had to do. And hey, third time’s the charm, right?

I’d barely made it two sentences into the speech I’d prepared when Jade interrupted me.

“Sorry, meu amor.” She said. I could tell right away how excited she was. “But I just have to tell you something… I’ve been waiting all day, and I don’t think I can wait any longer.”

Then she took a deep breath, and said two words that I know will change both of our lives forever: “Estou grávida.”

Man, I wish I could have seen the look on my face. It must have been pretty good, because I’m pretty sure Jade asked me about three times if I was okay.

I don’t even think I could have formed a coherent sentence if I tried. So instead, I pulled her close and kissed her as a thousand different thoughts buzzed through my mind all at once.

And, despite all my joy and excitement, there was one selfish thought that lingered in the back of my mind along with the rest, no matter how much I tried to silence it – Well there goes that plan… So much for starting fresh.

There’s no way I can quit my job now. Not yet, at least.

I mean, all those diapers and bottles aren’t gonna pay for themselves.