Month: December 2015

1.18: Para Sempre

Everyone always says your wedding day is supposed to be one of the happiest days of your life.


Well, I can tell you firsthand that they’re absolutely right.


We didn’t do anything big or elaborate, just a small ceremony back home in Newcrest, surrounded by our closest friends and family.


And honestly? I wouldn’t have had it any other way.


Jade, meu amor…  eu sou teu. Para sempre.

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1.17: New Beginning

It definitely wasn’t easy, but we made it through.

After the fire, things were… Bad. Really bad. Jade and I got a decent amount of money from insurance, but it wasn’t enough to get us back on our feet. Not the way we wanted to, at least. And for a while, we weren’t sure what we were gonna do.

We ended up having to stay with Jade’s friends again for a couple of months, and then back to the tent for a lot longer than I would have liked…

But we finally did it.


Our new home isn’t much bigger than our old one, but it’s a bit nicer. Or at least, I think it is. I’m just praying nothing goes wrong this time around… I don’t think I could bear having to go through this whole thing all over again.

Anyway, we’re finally all settled in – and hopefully this time for good. It feels so good to finally be able to focus on other things now… Like my career.

I finally quit my old job at the office and decided to try something new… And dad was thrilled to hear I’d started working for the local soccer – er… football team. I’ve always liked being active, and staying fit… But I was just never sure if I really wanted to go as far as to follow in dad’s footsteps. And I guess I’m still not sure… But when I saw the ad in the newspaper, I figured ‘Why not?’

And it’s going pretty well so far… Definitely made for a welcome change, at least. But hopefully I’ll be upgraded from having to wear that silly mascot costume soon. God, how humiliating!


Oh, and there’s something else we’re able to focus on now, too… Something we’ve been waiting for for a long time.

We’ve had to put our wedding on hold for so long, but after over three years together, Jade and I are finally ready.


She knows how much getting married means to me, and to my family… But she likes to laugh sometimes, and tell me that she doesn’t need some silly piece of paper to prove to anyone that we belong to each other.


“Eu sou tua.” She always says.

And just like that first night, it still gives me butterflies.

1.16: Gone

It happened so quickly.


I tried to stop it… But it was spreading so fast. We had to get out.


This notebook was one of the only things I was able to grab before we rushed outside and watched the home we’d worked so hard for go up in flames.


We lost everything.


It’s gone.


1.15: Life is Good

So, as promised, I’m writing this from inside our house, under our roof. It still feels so surreal to say that…

I feel like there are so many ‘little things’ I didn’t even realize I was missing out on before. I think one of the biggest is getting to cook real food on a real stove. I’d love to be able to say I miss roasting cheap hotdogs over a campfire every night, but… Yeah, that sucked.


Bjorn was such a huge help getting us set up in the new place. I seriously have no idea what I would have done without him. And he even got us a bit of a housewarming gift – our own chess table. He’s been having a lot of fun kicking my butt at it a few times already… Guess I’ve been getting a little rusty.


Anyway, the new house isn’t the only excitement we’ve had – Jade finally got the promotion she’s been working her ass off for… And I couldn’t be happier for her.


I’ve felt so guilty about how well things have been going for me at that job… Because after all this time, I still really hate it. Jade’s the one who’s ambitious and driven – who really loves what she does, and wants to make a career out of it. Honestly, I’m just going through the motions for the cash. I’m not sure I can put up with it for much longer. I came to Windenburg to try to find what I was meant to do with my life, and I can tell you this much – it’s not being a businessman. That’s for sure.

But you know what? None of that matters now. I have plenty of time to figure out what to do with my career. For now, what matters is that I finally have a roof above my head and a beautiful woman to share the rest of my life with.


In short, life is good. Really good.

I just hope it stays that way.

1.14: Worth It

Sorry it’s been so long since I’ve written anything.  I just  

Alright, scratch that.

I think I’m gonna stop apologizing or making excuses when I neglect this thing for a while. I mean, who am I apologizing to anyway? The wrinkly, grey-haired version of myself who’s probably laughing his ass off right now at what a dumb kid he was?

Yeah, something tells me he’ll understand…

Anyway, it feels like so much has happened since the last time I wrote… But actually, I guess not that much has changed, really. Still stuck in the same old job, still hanging out at the library almost every day, and still in love with the most amazing girl in the world.


Jade and I have been living in that cramped little tent on my huge, empty lot for almost a year now. I was kind of surprised she was so willing to move in with me, to be honest. I mean, she was leaving behind a big beautiful house with electricity, a toilet, a real bed… But when I finally got the courage to bring it up one day, she didn’t even hesitate. And I’m so happy she didn’t.

Not too long after I proposed, I finally took Jade back to Newcrest with me to meet my parents. I was so nervous. I mean, they’d talked to her on the phone plenty of times, but finally meeting them in person… It was huge. And a little scary. But they really seemed to hit it off.

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And seeing just how well she got along with my family really helped me realize that I made the right decision… that Jade’s the one I’m meant to be with for the rest of my life.

Now, we still haven’t tied the knot… We’re trying to worry about other things first – Mostly our careers… and living situation. Four walls and a roof above our heads would be a nice start. And actually, that’s how I ended up digging out this old notebook again in the first place.

It took a long time, but we’ve finally saved up enough that we can start building. It won’t be more than a shack, really. But it’ll be better than what we have now… Well, let’s be honest – anything would be. Anyway, we can’t afford a real architect, or even a real contractor, for that matter… So I’ll be doing a lot of the work myself.

But it’ll be worth it.

Of course, we had to get all our things out of the way, and it was when we were packing up all our stuff that I found this journal again, and decided I was overdue for a bit of an update.

So… Things are pretty good right now. We’ve been staying at Jade’s old place for a little over a week, and we’ll probably be there for about a month or so, until I get our new place fixed up.

Paolo, Marcus, and Eva seem really excited to have us around, actually. I’ve gotta admit, our old gang hasn’t been going out quite as often as we used to… Or I should say, Jade and I haven’t been going out as much. We’re just so busy with our jobs, and trying to save up for the house and the wedding. But when we’re all under the same roof, it’s a little bit harder to say no…


And speaking of being under a roof, living in an actual house has been pretty amazing, and being back in Jade’s old bedroom reminds me of all the nights I used so spend there when we’d first started dating. And I think those memories have, uh… brought back a little bit of the old ‘spark’ in both of us…


Anyway, the next time I write, we’ll have our own bedroom in our own house… And I can’t wait. It won’t be much, but it’ll be a new beginning for us. And, with any luck, we’ll have enough money to turn it into something great in no time.

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1.13: The Answer

I took Bjorn’s advice, and I did it.


It was absolutely terrifying.


But I did it.


It’s been over a year and a half since I left home, and I still remember wondering whether coming here would be the biggest mistake I’ve ever made, or the greatest decision of my life…

Well, after all this time, I think I finally know the answer.


1.12: Listen to Your Heart

Holy crap.

It’s been nearly a year since I’ve touched this old notebook.

Yes, you read that correctly. And no, a bunch of pages haven’t fallen out of this thing. I just, well… kinda forgot about it, to be honest.

Originally, this little journal was just supposed to be something to keep me busy. Just to have something to do, and not be so bored all the time. I guess after a while, I didn’t really need it anymore… I had plenty to do on my own!

Maybe I’m not living the most exciting life, but it’s not boring either, I guess.


Okay, so maybe a few things have been boring… But they’re keeping me busy, at least. I started a vegetable garden, and I’ve been selling what I grow down at the local market for some extra cash.


I’ve been trying to do some fishing too, but I’m not very good at it.


And I actually got a really nice promotion at work, if you can believe it! I still hate that place though… Poor Jade. She’s so driven, and really loves her job… And yet somehow, while I got bumped up the ranks a bit, she’s still stuck as nothing more than the cute little secretary. I keep trying to put a good word in for her, but it hasn’t worked yet.

Of course, she’s never complained or anything. Not even once. She just tells me how happy she is for me, and how proud she is. I guess I should be proud too, but… To be honest, I’m thinking of quitting soon, and looking for something better. We’ll see what happens.


Anyway, as for Jade… Well, that’s actually why I decided to dig out this old journal and start writing. I’ve been thinking about our relationship a lot lately…


The ups and the downs. The good and the bad… We’ve been through a lot together this past year. Some of it’s been absolutely incredible. And some of it, well… Some of it’s been pretty rough.

After everything we’ve been through, I think I know what I want to do. What I have to do. But it definitely won’t be easy… And how can I be sure it’s the right thing, for either of us?

Bjorn came over earlier tonight, and we talked about it for a long time. He always gives the best advice. And this time, his suggestion was simple: “Hör auf dein Herz.”


So that’s what I’m going to do.


Author’s Note: Thank you to everyone for reading, and a very Merry Christmas to all of you! 🙂